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So You're a Coward, Now What?

Borough Brew medium dark, french-press with a coarse grind. smacks lips Medium dark is my choice for winter, or when winter begins to chase fall. It's about then that it becomes necessary to get serious about bourbon and coffee. Never go full dark roast...tastes like how you would imagine if you burnt a xenomorph with a flamethrower, blended and cold-press juiced it. Don't know how someone can drink it, tastes like Starbucks coffee.

sips coffee

So, here we are. It's been a while. I went dark for a month or more. Knowing how candid I usually am with these blog posts, I imagine you expect an explanation. I'll give a short version. I relapsed. Nothing dangerous, I spent a couple evil nights in September and I mentally withdrew. Would it surprise any of you to learn that I spoke to exactly four beings total during this time? One of them was a Labrador.

I've woken up, now. I feel stronger, too. I don't have much to say, yet. My words haven't fully returned to me and they always come back slow. It's a whole process. I'm not even sure how I would characterize these episodes. Torpor? Hibernation of the soul? I feel on a deep level that they are an allergic reaction of cowardice to unexpected shocks. That may just be one man's opinion. Buspirone and company have little to say about it, I know that. "Am I crazy?" "We don't use that word in here." "But also let me prescribe more anti-psychotics, btw your latest MMPI-2 SzP score was high again. T-77. You sure you're okay?"

sips coffee

I saw Dune on HBO Max. It was good. They didn't finish it, explain anything and cut out half the characters. Beautiful movie and if I could sum it up in three words, words that the director seemed to have etched into the very images on every frame they would be: "Read the book." Highly recommend the movie, very well-cast, well-acted and beautiful to sit through. Gorgeous soundtrack, Mr. Zimmer.

I'm prevaricating. It's an old tactic I use when I'm avoiding unpleasantness or when nonplussed.

I'm trying to psych myself up to going into the Ertan Deep. It's a big deal for me. The killing frost I wanted is happening tonight, supposedly. I'm going to have to find some sort of camera, I know I have one somewhere here. I'll have my little excursion and workout. That will give me some feeling of accomplishment. Might even post a video of my exploits on this blog. You would all even get to see me and hear my strange and terrible accent. That'd be a novelty, surely.

sips coffee

This blog post's purpose, more or less, was to inform everyone that I'm back, including me. Sorry to flake out like that, sets a bad example. But I want to get back to writing. I need it. I need to post my latest work. I need to take some of the site's writing challenges. I need to get this blog back on track. And, I missed chatting with people. So if you're a coward, like me, commit yourself to obligations when you're not paying attention. Remember, you're a coward and won't stand up for yourself, especially against yourself and certainly not to a concept as vague as an obligation. Tell people you're back so you have to live up to it. Mention how you're going to do something you dread before witnesses, just so you'll do it to avoid being called a liar. Calling yourself a coward is one thing, but giving other people an opportunity to call you a liar is something far worse.

Oh and btw:

Go Braves!



Welcome back to the land of the living and writing. This month's LM and/or poetry challenges await you. Always enjoy reading your posts, Sin. You've been missed.

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