What about humor?
I love Janet Evanovich and she makes sex funny. All of my friends love her and we share her books among ourselves and others. She cracks me up. She has a way of saying things that I thought would be impolite in public but somehow she adds a charm that makes it ok. Now, if I recall there has been only one scene that I read and I have read many of her books that was a bit too explicit for me. To me it crossed over from funny to cold erotica.
Also, while I don't remember much of the details there was one scene in one of John Dunning's books -- Booked to Die or the next one, where when he described the main character's reaction, it was very funny in a surprising way. He doesn't go into details, somehow the character ended up in this situation and boom! Dunning's sense of humor is quite different than Evanovich's.
Also, Robert Parker, he wears me out with all of the women that throw themselves at his hero. While he is not explicit, he makes it clear and at some point for me it is a nuisance but I suspect his male readership loves it. Don't get me wrong I like Parker, may he rest in peace.
I do like it when the writer leaves something to my imagination and doesn't spell out every step. But, I don't read hard core porn, not sure about soft porn, does Evanovich fall into that category? I do not like violent sex. I will avoid it all costs.
Sex has universal appeal. I do think you need to consider your audience. Hard core, soft core or just a suggestion.