I can't remember the last time I truly just decided to sit down and just let the mood take me when it strikes. Usually I try to create plans for myself and when I do, I feel like I build up all these things I want to do then just get stressed out and never do them.
So today, yes, I have things I've planned to do today, but I also decided to sit. I decided to switch from my phone to the computer and here I am typing away. I've been doing a lot of that this week. The whole typing thing. I used to write about my thoughts all the time and recently I just haven't had the energy to do it. I wrote a poem over the weekend and under suggestion from another member I tried it in a different form I've never done before. It was hard and it kinda sucks, but it felt good to write. I was much better grabbing what I wanted in my poetry awhile back but I'm out of practice and I forget that, which can be frustrating because I wonder why everything I've been writing recently is crap haha!
Being an English major in college I used to write all the time. Essays, papers, short stories, poems, and now my well is completely dry. So I'm trying to fill it up again. I forget how satisfying it is to see my words on the screen or the page. In my life recently when I actually speak to people I seem to not get out what I want how I want it and the people in my life won't give me a chance to work it out or shut me down. I think that has rolled over into my writing a bit and I've shrugged it off with 'well, no one wants to listen to me anyway so what does it matter?'.
But I know that's not true. So here I am. It's not incredibly life altering or even that exciting to read, but it's progress for me and that's all the matters.
Do I want to write for others? Of course I do.
Do I want to help others through my writing? Take them on a journey? Absolutely!
I've forgotten about the part of writing that includes myself though. It's always been catharsis for me and I've neglected it.
So here I am. Writing one word at a time and getting one space and period closer to who I want to be as a writer.
Happy Wednesday WF!