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Open Relationship

I went to a party last night and meet an older fellow that was telling me too much information, after becoming adequately bombed. Anyway, he is divorced of twenty years and has 2 children. After his divorce, he has had many "lovers" as he put it. He then proceeded to tell me that he was in a relationship with a woman, with whom he lives with part of the week. Well, why doesn't he stay there all week? Guess what? Another man lives there the rest of the week. He explained that things were very open and honest. But he kept saying, I just want her to be happy, but he wasn't happy. And then he started to cry, right there in front of the bon-fire. I wanted to tell him to run away as fast as he could from this witch, but I held my tongue and said nothing. I got him some water and told him I was sorry.


Dither- this is why I didn't say anything. He was obviously in a very painful place emotionally and saying such things wouldn't make any difference- he does care for this woman very deeply- I guess? Maybe he has unresolved mommy issues?

Thanks for reading.
that's very perceptive of you. I think maybe many of us guys have umi s. Could be the root of MY problems and it's a bitch. What's a bloke to do? The umbilical cord endures.
Bah...weak little man. I thought you were going to say you threw him in the bonfire. He ought to know better . Hehaha haha ... I'll get you, my pretty! And your little dog, too! Seriouly though, nothing more disrespected by a woman in a 'relationship' than a wet noodle.
Sometimes, the idea that something as essentially positive as love and attraction should be limited to one person seems to me a bit ludicrous. I mean, in a world where everyone frequently hates everyone else, for what benefit do we cling on to this outmoded and rather selfish idea, particularly when doing so has the potential to cause such misery, and particularly when there is no such limit placed on, say, how many people you can despise at a time. I don't own my wife's body, or her emotions - so why should I have that kind of jurisdiction over those things? Now, if she up and left me, or suddenly found me insufficient for something that previously wasn't an issue, or decided she just didn't like me very much any more, that would leave me devastated but it doesn't have to be that way. Now, that's not to say such an arrangement is for everyone. Some people aren't that way inclined. I imagine this fellow may have struggled with it, but it gets a bit too much negative press, being swept under the carpet all the time. A bit like the witch-hunts in the 50s that did Alan Turing in.
the dude's boo-hooing about it. He doesn't like it. He's f-iin' old, and he should have a spine by now. What would my kid think if he saw me blubberin' like that? What would I tell him if I saw him blubberin' like that? There's a thing called dignity, self-respect. I mean f-in' A, he's volunteering for it. Now I'm not upset, but I don't feel bad for him, either. Maybe she's Tilda Swinton and great in bed. Well then quit you're whining, or get out. He has a choice. He's making the choice.
Dude... I cry often. I was cryin last night at call the midwife... Haha - got leaky eyes... And yes, one time I got f-ing crushed- I was twenty-one. She used to call me up after- like I was there for her- finally I got a back bone and answered truthfully when she'd asked: 'yes, I'm not happy to hear from you, because I know I'll be sad, after'- best thing I could ever have done. And my room mate around that time told me 'dude, take that picture( of her) down'. Like what was I thinking? - anyway, I was young, so that was my excuse- and it took some good advice, and thinking about it ; and there was no reason to put myself through further misery. I moved on.. :)

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