I was hip, hop, hopping along, minding my own business, when to my utter surprise a pack of wild dingoes leapt out of the bush and blocked my way. They snarled, growled, and bared their teeth in a show of ferocity. The leader of the pack with spittle dripping off his tongue said to me,
“We will let you go free and unharmed if you surrender the baby that’s in your pouch. Kangaroo baby meat is quite a treat and is known to give added strength to those who chew on its bone and marrow. Hand it over to us, if you don’t, we will tear and rip you into bite sized pieces.”
The thought of handing over my precious sweet baby to those sniveling pieces of trash was out of the question. The only option was to do damage to them before they did it to me and my child. I’m a peace loving kangaroo; I’m even a pacifist of sorts and the thought of afflicting lethal force on these creatures was unsettling. I decided to give them one last chance by issuing them a warning. If they didn’t heed it, it would be on their heads not mine. I said,
“I regretfully decline your offer. Please let me pass, for if you do, you will live, if not, you will most certainly die. I’m a master at most forms of the martial arts. I’m also a world champion kick boxer. Your’ howling and barking does not frighten me, it only annoys me in that you may wake up my daughter. Go back to the bushes where you belong and let me go on my way.”
The dingoes only laughed at my warning and attacked. To their utter amazement and shock I became a kangaroo blur. With amazing grace and skill I kicked and punched each and every dingo with the precision of a machine. They all fell where they stood and died a quick but agonizing death. The last to die was the leader of the pack. He whimpered and squealed liked the coward that he was. I showed no mercy. He deserved none. The son of a bitch should have heeded my warning.
As I hipped hopped away from the carnage that I wrought, my daughter that was still napping in my pouch woke up and said,
“Mommy what was that noise. It sounded a little scary.”
“It was nothing but the wind,” I said. “Go back to sleep. I’ll wake you up when we get to the keep. Daddy has a big surprise for you when we get home...