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Off topic topic,

Posted in Greyson's blog by bdcharles.


I'm the same. When people first meet me everything's great. Then they get to know me and my shine wears off (in my head at least). The solution? Practise - and maintain - an air of mystery and distance, so that people will fall over themselves trying to discover "the real you"; and if you hold it just out of reach (the best place for it) the excitement never wanes. It works both ways - Hemingway drank to make other people more interesting; I keep them at arm's reach for the same reason. And it keeps you alert too; whenever they get close you have to come up with something new to tantalise them; writing a book falls neatly into that category. And lastly know when to bow out. Be that person who scarpers early from social engagements, ostensibly (and untruthfully but who cares about that?) to rush off to some other shindig (when of course we all know we're running back to our WIPs to do some proper socialising with our IFs)
:wink:


About keeping your distance,

When i was in my 20s i liked to go out, have a beer or two and keeping my distance caused me a lot of grief. I was no looker but i caught the attentions of one or two females, when that happened i'd go to the toilet as closing time was drawing near, then i'd be out out of the back door and doing a runner.

Another week another pub.

Then i got it from the blokes. Was i gay? Does he think he's too good to drink with us? And i never EVER let anyone buy me a drink.

Yeah,
all you young men out there, you want to make friends? Socialise? Well just back off and make like you really don't give damn.

Comments

I think you meant Greyson's blog, haha.

The way I see it, is being comfortable and alone takes confidence. It takes knowing yourself.

Confidence attracts.

Also, by default, being the guy in the corner booth acting all "cool" adds an air of mystery around you which is also attractive, because many people are naturally curious.

Good looks help, but aren't necessary.

To suggest that socializing, being authentic, and getting to know people is an inherently bad thing, is off the mark. Making out like you don't give a damn can easily lead to making you out to be an asshole. There's a difference between keeping people within arms reach, and pointing a gun at them.
 
Being cast as an asshole, yeah i got that to but i didn't stick around so it didn't matter.
And i bluffed my way out of a few potentially nasty situations.
I liked to think i was a bit of an un-known quantity and one or two did actually back off.


Now i'm in my 60s, i regret how things worked but it had to be.
 

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