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I squat down, awkward, not used to giving blow-jobs or cow milking. It’s a good thing I don’t have a belly. I still have to turn my head and mouth sideways. Best I can do, the desktop, the only flat surface stable enough to hold the heavy water jug, but still not high enough. I certainly can’t hold it and depress the squirt button.

The water pours half into my mouth, half onto the floor.

Only later do I realize I have a coffee cup, not thrown away, sitting on my desk. The first filling of water is stained but I drink anyway; I’m not wasting water. I’d read somewhere that you can blow your kidneys out with too much protein, and I can taste my lunch from earlier: a ten-ounce protein shake that I’d overpaid for at the gas station. Still cheaper than an actual lunch.

Two weeks ago I tried the Smart’n’Final and found a four pack for about a third the price. I bought all they had. When I went back a week later they hadn’t restocked. They might’ve discontinued carrying it.

Outside the trash trucks are beeping and lifting the bins.

I have to keep an eye on them. Twice they’ve left them without dumping, no explanation. They only come once a week, so it becomes a real pain.

There's sirens in the distance. I'm on a side street but it's city nearby. There's constant activity.

Yesterday, the helicopters came in the afternoon. Breaking news on the laptop said there was a man with a knife. I looked up the address and saw that it was where I often get my coffee in the morning. I hadn’t heard any gunshots but they said that the cops had fired.

Down a few blocks there’d been a big hullabaloo a month ago because of a similar shooting. The homeless guy killed by the police was pretty well known in the community and a lot of people were upset. The local free press did a story on it and they said the investigation was shoddy and incomplete; certain key witnesses weren’t even talked to.

A local politico had come to a community meeting and the crowd really let him have it, booing him and reacting with anger. The next day the cops came in force, doing a sweep and rousted/hauled away all the tents and other belongings of the homeless. That’ll teach them.


We've been hearing about the excavating or flattening the tent cities out there. Homelessness is such a nation-wide problem that there is no solution. People just want them to go away, hide the ugliness away. People react the same way to the topic of death, no one wants to talk about it. It sounds like a hard case. The poor bastards on the police force have their backs to the walls. People are angry!

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