I was bored and tired and in the mood to just sit back and watch a movie. I had been watching Wes Anderson films for the past few days, but I tend to do that when I want to really pay attention and absorb what's being shown to me. Wes Anderson just makes those kind of films. They demand to be watched fully. Tonight, like I said, I was tired. So Films were out of the question, which is how I found myself on Netflix perusing the new movies that were available. Scrolling down, I stumble across something with Paul Rudd in it (I'm going to avoid using the movie title out of embarrassment). Anyway, I had seen some movies with Paul Rudd earlier and this particular movie supposedly had dark humor in it according to the tags. "Why not," I thought harmlessly. After all my other option, In Bruges, is also a dark comedy and I have already seen it twice. Might as well give this a chance.
Well, that's where the mistakes began. See, as ruggedly handsome as Paul Rudd may be -- and I can say that objectively as a man, he's attractive get over it fellas, you don't have to be gay to acknowledge it -- his acting was super meh. But the acting isn't what got me. If the acting had bothered me, I wouldn't feel the need to post on a writing forum about it. I would go find my acting friends and rant to them about it. No, it was the writing in this movie that boiled my blood until it was steaming out of my flesh. It was just so predictable, so stereotypical, so...boring. I predicted almost every single plot development. I knew when every joke was coming, even the "dark" ones (these, by the way, were denoted by the use of the word 'fuck'. Oops, guess this is a dark blog post now).
Needless to say, I sat through the whole thing. I get the writing, I know it sells. People want to forget that their lives are real for an hour and a half and just watch a bunch of good things happen. I get the acting. Netflix isn’t hollywood, they can only really get one big name guy. I get everything but why it had five stars. No matter how much effort I put into it, no matter how much thought I might devote, I cannot fathom why anyone would give this a five star rating. Especially when Moonrise Kingdom, hell, even The Darjeeling Limited, have only four stars. What objective standings are people using? Where can I find this list? How can I destroy it?
I think this goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway. Be careful what movies you watch on Netflix. Giving everybody the ability to review it does not lead to better reviews that get more deeply at the real reaction to the movie. It just gives you a washed out, useless number that was given to you by a bunch of people who want everything the same. Next time you have time to kill, might I recommend staying off Netflix. Try The Darjeeling Limited.