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meal for one

jumped a train into the city last night and had a chinese buffet meal..sitting there i felt a bit lonely..it soon passes but while i was thinking that my mobile went and a message of a woman i have been chatting to for a while now, she lives a fair distance away and i've had a long distance relationships before and its to much hassle..anyway her message was i'm off all week next week and would like to finally meet up..sometimes in life you just can't figure what you want and that is frustrating at times.

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Escorial,
i don't know anything about you, age etc.And it really is none of my business. But i'm 62 yrs old and i am so confused at the best of times. I want so desperately sometimes, and then, no i don't. Or what ever it is that i crave, would be too much trouble. There's always a price to pay. There really are, no free lunches in this world.
It drives me mad just thinking about how i am. And i know that i could be a lot worse off.
My sense of frustration, with myself really, and my indecision makes me so want to just,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
The times that i say to myself," i've got to find a way out". To where? To what exactly? And i don't know.:disturbed:
 
Dither I can understand that...i look at other people and they all seem content with who they are, as if they totally understand themselves but i guess that's just the way it has to be..cheers
 

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escorial
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