I forgot how annoying learning was.
I have distant memories from my early, EARLY childhood. Just a few.Learning was fun. Learning to speak properly and express yourself, then learning bigger words.
Math was fascinating... at first.
Just learning everything about the world.
Now? It's annoying. I have a problem focusing, but I can't say that I've tried to counteract it. If anything, I've embraced it.
My physical self discipline is quite high. Mental? Nonexistent. I just can't make myself focus on anything. I HATE saying I can't do something. So I'm going to focus, even if it kills me. I'll keep learning until it's fun again, or I die trying.
I know I won't actually die, but that's how bad it is.
As if attempting to focus were causing some kind of physical pain. It feels mentally uncomfortable and unsettling. Like sitting in a weird position until your arms and legs fall asleep.Eventually, the desire to move becomes unbearable.
When I'm forced to focus, that's how it feels. Eventually, I have to think about something else. I have to mentally wander, which often involves physically separating myself from the situation that requires focus.
For a creative person, that's good. I have too many ideas. Too many stories I could write.
But not being able to actually focus and accomplish anything is a serious obstacle to writing, and life in general.
One that I aim to overcome.