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Le family

I get to leave in thirty minutes... aaahhhg.

Why am I conscious!?


I tend to give advice on relationships more than speak about my own. Why not share, methinks, a little about my family?

My father is interesting. He did math competitions as a teenager. Doing problems as fast as you can. I think it automatized his brain. He's very smart. Of course, he's a problem solver. He doesn't like emotion or other human beings in general.

So, oddly, my problems with him are the same problems between the genders.

I didn't want someone to solve my problems, I only needed emotional validation. Well, good luck getting that from my dad. He'll call it BS and just tell you what to do.

Sadly, I'm just like him. Aside from the math. My voice, personality, mannerisms, behavioral issues, exactly like he was at my age.

But I've always been more creative and emotional, and I don't think we'll ever be terribly close friends.

My mother was an orphan. Super sweet. I've never seen her really get mad more than a few times. Her issues are because she was adopted. She needs constant emotional reassurance and takes many things too personally.

I resemble both my parents, then. Sadly, they weren't much help trying to sort out my head before I moved out.

My aunt has disabilities, mentally and physically. But we can't fault her for that. We've all learned to laugh.

My grandmother though. Don't get me started.

She's...old fashioned, you know? Even a logical conversation is 'talking back' to her.

That goes back to my problem with the elderly, I guess. They always think young people are being smart with them, even if we aren't. Rrhg.

She doesn't like how I listen to music, or play games. But the funny thing is, she browses conspiracy theory websites for HOURS. It's the only thing she talks about. Hell, I love games, but I don't talk about 'em 24-7. Not a minute can pass without her mentioning something or other that she read about. Not like I entirely trust government to begin with, but some of that crap is just insane.

My cousins are little snots. No discipline, because their parents are lazy. Sure, I was spoiled and got away with a lot, but my cousins make me seem like the model child.

The rest of my family lives far away and I don't care to see them. Half of them are country hicks from Utah or whatever flat state, the other half live in major cities in Florida or otherwise along the coast.

Sure that's negative and bitter. But my dad would say the same thing. Haha.


Sometimes a country hick will surprise you. But I do know what you mean. We don't get to chose our families, but these days if your parents loved you enough to care for you, not beat or abuse you, then you lucked up and got good ones. We're all a little crazy, all flawed, most especially the ones who don't think so. You write interesting posts; not afraid to put yourself out there - a good trait for a writer.
Everyone has a story. Everyone has at least one. Unfortunately for you, you're stuck with your own, erasures and marginalia notwithstanding. You can try to share your story with others, and they might judge your cover or draw in your past or give you critique. No one, however, gets to append themselves to you without your consent, like some kind of onion paper. No one, that is, except your family. No matter what happened, they raised you. No matter what happens, you're still connected by blood. You might feel like they're taking you for granted, but they only expect you to be there. And you are.

You're young; you're exploring the world. GK Chesterton said, The point of travel is to return home as a foreigner. And while your family's customs might be different and their wheels might be rusted in place, they've found something worth sticking around for. I mean, you're still around. So all you can do is let your own existence be a silent refutation or exaltation: it's really hard to change people. It has to start from the inside. It has to start from an ideal. You can be that ideal.

A draft can either build or remove. While you're building up your first or second, your family members might be stuck on a part. All anyone can reasonably expect of you is to give them the benefit of the doubt that their story still matters. After all, don't you like twists?

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Crowley K. Jarvis
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