I doubt that.
I really haven't written anything in awhile. My creative flow to tell a story or a poem that's deeper than what I've been writing.
I like what I have written lately on the forum (which really hasn't been a lot) but I've been looking at my old poetry and I miss being deeper when I write. I don't know if it's because I'm too tired emotionally to get anything out, or if I'm just doubting myself again and I just don't realize that it's effecting me.
There's a story I started back in college, that I still want to write. I had such a passion for it, but I have such a horrible time motivating myself. My biggest excuse for myself is that I'm dealing with other stuff. If I can just get the other stuff sorted then I can write to my hearts content.
It just doesn't work that way. I tell myself that all the time. "It doesn't work that way, Ashley. You have to push past it."
What if I'm not meant to write? What if I'm not meant to extract from my brain? My biggest fear is not being able to. I just need to do it. I want to start a big time blog too, come up with ideas and just let it all flow, but I feel like I have nothing to give worthwhile. That's just my poor self esteem talking though. One of these days I'll believe in myself a little more. I think my problem is I used to write all the time about everything and about my feelings but I haven't done that in a long time, even though when I do, my emotions are much more organized and my thoughts have a place to lay, rather than spilling over and flooding me.
One of these days. One of these days. Tomorrow maybe? Tonight?
I will try.