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Just a little something...

"There's no-one, only us." You whisper.

"Good." I reply happily.

It's just the two of us, laying in that abandoned field. Seagulls circling and cawing over head, as I laid trapped in your arms, your warm chest pressed against my back, making me shiver in delight. Rolling over I smile and just stare at your face bathed in the orange sunset. Pale blue eyes boring into mine and I know your seeing the real me buried deep inside. Your thick brown eyebrows tilt up suggestively and you smile-just one corner lifting up-making me feel complete and desired as I suck in a breath, biting my lip in anticipation as your lips move closer. Thin it's only the briefest brush....

Beep! Beep! Beep!

My alarm blares out tearing me away from sleep and my dream man. Groaning I roll over and slap my hand down hard, pushing my phone off the night stand as I scramble to turn off my alarm.

"Damn alarm, always going off when I least want it to." I mumble to my empty room.

Comments

The first line with you in it made me assume I was to be part of the story an after reading I thought it would be better if it was he or she...you often write short romantic pieces...to me it's feminine writing an as a male without much appreciation of romantic writing I find the topic and delivery delivered with clarity and at times emotion based on experience or desire... I'm still of the opinion you are a feminine writer...
 
Yes Esc I find that I am a very feminine writer, alot of the things I write do show emotion based on expirience, just as when I write sadness into my stories I draw upon emtions I have felt to base them on, I have found it adds a sense of reality to my writing. The word 'you' would drag any reader into thinking they were a part of the story regardless of gender, this is one of it's many uses. But you may be right by adding the gender of said character would elliviate any confussion. :)
 
I've read so much of susan sontag stuff an enjoyed it but as a fiction writer she was dire for me...the most enjoyable for me is Muriel spark...short direct an I find very feminine writing but it has an edge...I've never read a Barbra cartland book but it could be good stuff...
 

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H.Brown
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