Yes I had there was no denying that, I didn’t want to sound like I wanted the world on a stick, but this is not what I had in mind for things I wanted to accomplish. The key to a smile on my thirtieth birthday was success which by some peoples definitions I had achieved, but not to my own.
So this was why I was freaking out. But what exactly did I want to accomplish? The surveying, the degrees were part of a process from my A-levels to my masters they were ways of prolonging my youth and deferring the difficult decision to actually move on with my life. I hid behind the numerous letters after my name. I convinced myself it was what I wanted to do; when I sat for my Surveying interview I thought – this is it, this is what I want – as long as I pass this, get this qualification then all will be okay. I can move on have the career of my dreams- but I was flat out lying to myself- I knew deep down there was a niggling feeling that actually I didn’t really like the whole property malarkey of Surveying- the countless breakfast meetings with stuffy suits. It wasn’t me – a bit souless- when I fell in to social housing though I loved it- It was an eye opener- and most of all it had soul! Heaps of it embedded in every nook and cranny of the job. I loved it- but no after getting my prized qualification I felt I owed it to myself to step in to property development. So I applied for a development job and got it. I’m still in it! Its in social housing so its got some soul but the crux of it is – I realised amongst all this bad decision making that all I wanted to do was write (despite my bad grammar which I blame the education system for). I could do both!!! By day a developer, by night a writer unleashing a whole host of feelings and stepping into a career I really am passionate about.
That is the most important thing isn’t it? To be happy at what you do? Going to a dull monotonous work place everyday is not what you want from life. Don’t get me wrong I like my work place- it’s the nine to five (lack of control on your own life) that I have a problem with- But I am veering away from what I had started to say.
So here I am hurtling towards 30, only 6 months left to go and my mission is to get my story told!! Well not so much my story told but my book published! So keep an eye on this blog or check out my other blog thecoffeestainedmanuscript.blogspot.com if you want to know how I am progressing, what my book is about (its fiction- don't worry not a whining life story), when my book will be published and all the trials and tribulations I face as I try to create a living out of it!!!