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Is Rey Not The Chosen One?

Tis a short (I promise...)

I was thinking about the character of Rey and how the latest movie did...and didn’t do something. The movie revealed that Rey’s parents were nobodies. Actually...nobodies is the term you would use if you were an asshole or living with assholes long enough that you call human beings with no flashy titles, possessions, resources, or renoun. Rey’s parents weren’t royalty or whatever. They were ordinary people who were pretty dirty parents. This, I actually liked because it does remove- as I’ve complained about before- the congenital glory factor.

However, the movie subverts this move by giving Rey so much for so little. Not only is she a force user, but she is among the very strongest. Not only this, but she is- as of yet- all-capable. She can do anything exceedingly well. This is not a role-model for a human being, this is a fantasy for dreamers. Yeah, men have been indulging themselves with these images for millenia, but is this about catch-up or improvement.

There’s some other things that bother me about Rey’s character and I think most of it comes from my suspicion that Rey is not allowed to be a character, she has to be an umbrella symbol
for every good standard. But the one that rankled most was that Rey still is the Chosen One. She doesn’t reslly work for anything, things are handed to her. She’s blessed with immaculate gifts and her life is plotted through extraordinary circumstances that don’t feel earned as
much as they do pre-written. This would be fine if Star Wars was just a movie so chill out bro, but that’s not what Star Wars offers itself as. It’s trying to be influential. It’s trying to teach morality and philosophy. But it’s conflicted and it shows.

Er...Maybe not so short...


She's the Mary Sue! Of course she's the chosen one bruh!

People thought the prequels were bad. But these new money-grubbing, dead-horse-beating Star Wars movies don't touch anything Lucas did; they make the prequels look like masterpieces. The Disney movies have been plagued with shady practices and lackluster execution since the beginning. Lucas may have slightly lost his touch with the prequels (although I'm of the opinion that Return of the Sith is fantastic) but these idiots at Disney went into this with sock'em boppers on their hands.

Jar Jar Abrams can't write a coherent, consistent story to save his life, let alone follow through on promises he makes early in his stories. (Lost, anybody?) And apparently neither can any of the other writers they must find living on the street.

Almost all of the humor is out of place. Stop being afraid to tell a serious story (if you're even capable of it), and learn how comic relief works.

The First Order's one and only base is completely destroyed in the last movie, and now they're running the whole galaxy like it didn't even happen. What? How?

Kylo Ren was fueled by the fact that he saw Darth Vader as a martyr or whatever. Where did that go? Oh, under the rug with a bunch of other dead bodies.

They hire an extremely talented actress to play that Gold-plated shocktrooper, her character is teased repeatedly as if she's going to become an important mid-level villain, and she says like FOUR lines across all of her appearances combined, and then she's just killed off after having done NOTHING? What a waste of potential, and of my time.

Rey's last name is made out to be some sort of super-secret, ready for a big reveal. Pfft. If I want to be teased like that I'll go to a stripclub, thanks.

Snoke is some omnipotent, omniscient being who is so powerful and in tune with the Dark Side that he might as well have transcended life itself, and he's killed in one of the most contrived, poorly written ways I've ever had the misfortune of seeing. An appalling amount of wasted potential.

Luke Skywalker, the Homecoming King, the wonderboy, the hero, the beloved by many fans who are now in their sixties and have been waiting FORTY YEARS FOR THIS, was written not only in a way that is unexplainably inconsistent with his character, but was killed in the same movie where he's seen jerking off some alien animal for its blue milk. And why was he killed off? Because, I quote, he "stands in the way" of what Disney wants to do. That's right, the story didn't call for it. The money did. Mark Hamill is (*on record*) against how Luke was handled, warned moviegoers that they'd be disappointed if they were expecting to "relive their childhood", and there's even speculation that he might not have known he was killed off until he saw the film at the premier.

In the Force Awakens, Luke said he wanted people to come find him when they needed him. That was why he left the map, the puzzle or whatever to track him down. And now it turns out he's just a coward who thinks the Jedi should be destroyed, and he's been waiting to die alone on that island? What the fuck?

I could go on. I could've written a better script than this atrocity. But they wouldn't hire me because I'm white and I'm straight.

They're more interested in making sure the movie passes some arbitrary Rorschach test, which clearly doesn't test for whether you can even tell a BAD story, let alone a good one. You might as well call a spade a spade, and call the Rorschach test "The Ideological Purity Test". It's absolutely the most despicable, reprehensible, and intellectually insulting thing ever. And it will take over Hollywood; EVERY movie before the start of the next decade will be required to pass their Don't Purge Me Stalin test. I promise, or your money back.

The next time I see a 5/5 review for this movie that doesn't even mention THE MOVIE, and only talks about race and gender, I think I might tear out of my goddamn eyes. Believe me, I've watched many of the Bruce Lee films, and I don't love them because they put Chuck Norris in there, or some token white guy. To actually think something like that, you have to be either one impressively dumb and shallow individual, or a racist. Or both.

Stop normalizing racism.

/rantover, and so is this world.

I would've rather seen three hours of this.


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