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I know it doesn't rhyme...

Here I sit surrounded,
yet I only feel alone,
even when I smile,
all I feel is pain.

I couldn't let you go,
you my little blob,
no matter how I tried,
you're a part of me forever.

I've missed you every day and night,
and though my tears ain't fallen,
since the day that I decided,
to never let you grow.

Regrets are truly binding,
they hold you fast and true,
as here I sit frowning,
still trying to move on.

I'll miss you all my life my speck,
in a space I'll never fill,
it's branded with no name,
for you that wasn't even born.

Comments

About abortion?

Because of the first-person I won't pry farther than that question.

Well written.
 
What I like about this is the words that give it that touch of I write how I talk....how we speak is such a vibrant tool which is often side tracked for clarity..for me how you approached the wording gives it depth and emotion..
 
Smith it was indeed about abortion, I had one nine years ago and it has never really left me and around this time of year it is potent as I saw the ultrasound picture and still had to continue. This decision in a way does still haunt me as it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. The other night I felt over whelmed with emotions, as I sometimes feel that something essential is missing and at times this makes me feel empty. I just needed to write it out and here was my only outlet.

Esc I like that you liked it I'm no good at being able to simplify my words, hence why I mostly write prose as it allows for flowery language without needing to have any particular structure. I am in a way glad that you liked it as writing is a very emotional thing for me at times but it is also fun as well.

Thank you guys for your kind words.
 
I'm inspired by your post HB and almost prompted to exorcise, by talking through, a very personal demon. Almost. Trying to come to terms with an awkward realisation about myself but it's a " work in progress " right now. One day maybe. One day.

Life eh?
 
Ey it does suck sometimes. I have plenty of inner demons, who knows at some point I may end up with a collection of emotional poems about them, it all depends what I have to had a the time to write on it could be a napkin, a notebook, a text message on my phone or here on my blog. I lose most of them during he course of a day though but if I can I might try getting a collection together of emotional writings. I have tried talking through these things but always run before I can see anyone. I have always found it easier to write than talk, its my form of counselling. I am glad that I have inspired you though and hope that you can fight that inner demon and win. These things take time this is the first time I've writen about these feeling and their cause healing takes the most time.
 
HB,
writing can be very therapeutic and whatever one's situation/demon/call it what one might there is some small consolation to be gained from knowing that you're not alone. There will be people out there, for sure, who recognise and feel every word of your opening post and now somebody somewhere will know that they are not alone. A kind of " Extended kinship".
 
I like feeling like something I have struggled with can have the chance of helping someone else. I have been toying with the idea of writing a story based on my own life and the struggles I have gone through, but I haven't found the right words yet or the confidence to be honest.
 
I lack confidence to the point of fear. My situation is not ideal I know that but I'm in my sixties now, do I really need this? The recent discovery concerning my inner-self was thrust upon me I didn't go looking but there it is, pushing and shoving it's way to the forefront of my very being. Maybe, in time, I'll manage to "can it" and maybe I don't/won't want to "can it". The trouble is that there are no half measures here.

HB,
you are young. Time is on your side.
 
It's definitely worth a try. You've helped people already, with this lovely and heartfelt piece.
 
That it is Dither and I will make many more mistakes in my future, the key is learning something from them I suppose.

I am glad that I have Sebald. :)
 
lifes a journey not a destination..stuff like that HB....Thing is no past no future and I would like to read more of your life in poetry because that just works for me and I hope for you to in that future....
 

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H.Brown
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