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I feel like a protaganist sometimes.

I have amazed myself at the amount of things I can BS my way through.

Like that young annoying MC, I might not have real skill or experience, but I'll be damned if someone tells me I can't do something.

Always trying to be something more.

Those MC's annoy me. Yeah. They're always little snots, if the story starts that young. And somehow they grow up, almost die a few hundred times, and miraculously mature for no reason.

I've seen some things I don't talk about. Alot more has happened to me than I may choose to put forward.

I don't have any post-traumatic stress. Quite frankly I can't comprehend why it exists, but nonetheless, as common as it's becoming I can't deny it's existence nor the effect it has on the daily lives of the traumatized.

I do believe it's helped me mature many ways.

But just like that MC, annoyingly, all of my conclusions are wrong. Period. For nineteen years of human life, not a single conclusion, philosophical, scientific, social, etc, has been correct. I don't have a complex about it though. I don't NEED to be right. I don't care. I take advice and move on. I won't keep arguing just to prove myself right. I hate those kinds of people.

We've all seen the scene. The 'mentor' or wise man or teacher is trying to guide him to a certain conclusion. He goes: 'Oh, I know, it's--' And he's wrong, which he is corrected on. That is my entire life. I'm not kidding. I'm not repressing the good memories, I'm not being nostalgic either. Looking back, I have never been correct.

I don't want to be the hard-headed, ignorant young adventurous boy that the story is centered on. I wish the world's camera would pan off to someone else, and forget about me.

I would rather be that mysterious character. The strange man. The merchant, the wanderer. Because, think about it... Most of the time, sadly, the main character is not the most interesting. We ask more questions about the side characters because, for some reason, they have better backstories.

But, as a benefit, I do have that odd luck. Everything I do seems to work out. Danger dodged at JUST the right time, so I'm not dead yet!

When we read or play a game.. Instead of the young hero buying a sword to slay the troll king, our eyes drift to the old blacksmith who might linger and sigh for a moment.

Isn't he more interesting?

That's all I want out of life. I don't want the spotlight. I don't want fame. It ruins people.

Just a few people who actually care, and a story or two I can share with them.

Is that too much to ask ?


Is your life a satire Crow?

I think you're pretty smart AND you don't have to fit into the world to make a difference. The MC rarely does the logical thing.
Better than feeling like the antagonist sometimes.

You know, you might have just inspired me to write a blog about that, if you don't mind.

I think this is a cool short video. Your blog made me think of it. "You are the main character—the protagonist—the star at the center of your own unfolding story. You're surrounded by your supporting cast: friends and family hanging in your immediate orbit.

Scattered a little further out, a network of acquaintances who drift in and out of contact over the years.

But there in the background, faint and out of focus, are the extras. The random passersby. Each living a life as vivid and complex as your own."

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Crowley K. Jarvis
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