You see, we're all just a random bunch of folks gathered together by our joy of writing. But, it appears that's where our similarities end. It's just as tribal here as anywhere else in cyberspace, or the real world. Sure, there is a thin veneer of civility, but just like a grade school playyard, little cliques form. The Cool Kids, who use their social skills like Jason Vorheees swings a chainsaw. The Smart Kids who use their wit like Hannibal Lecter wields a scalpel. The Cute Kids that no one can dislike (She's hugging a kitten! Awwwww). Future victims.
Hence, the blog title. I don't care. I don't care about being shunned by people that look down their noses at me. I've gotten use to it. I suppose you can say I've become kinda callused. Hardened and desensitized. I'm not proud of the fact, and I'm certainly not bragging. But despite all my numerous faults, lack of honesty is not one of them. I have to be truthful. I hate liars. And why should I hate myself when there are so many others more deserving of derision?
The circle of people that I trust and care for has shrank to a tiny circumference. It mainly contains my immediate family. And that's only because they've EARNED my trust. I don't know if I've ever suffered from the insanity of "unconditional love". There was a time long ago, I would have jumped on a grenade to save my platoon mates. But that ship has sailed. Now, I look around to see all these virtue-signaling, preening self-righteous do-gooders. And I can't decide how many are deluded idiots that think any of what the do matters, and how many are just attention-seeking hypocrites that should know better.
I Do Good because it is logical. There is no "love" left in my heart. I'll help a bum if that help gets him off the street. I will not help if all it does is lessens his suffering, temporarily. There are over seven billion people on this planet. At any moment, do you want to guess how many people are suffering? Do you really want to contemplate the immensity of evil, and our collective inability to even put a dent into it? Think about it, and it will drive you mad. Or already has.
Darwin. Nietzsche. Kant wrap your head around them?
I'm sure you think you care. Your emotional response to the horrific stories and images only validates your self-delusion. You probably even "do-something", like text #savekittens to 1234. I'm not going to play the holier-than-thou game. I'm not worried about losing that game. Re-read the first three words of the post title. I'm not here to validate your self-worth. That's you job.
Inside me, that 10 year old boy is still fiddling with his Vulcan IDIC ring, sitting on the bench in the dugout. I remember enjoying the game of baseball, but then learning to dislike the hypocrites that played it. Big kids, naturally blessed with superior athletic skills. They didn't give a shit about me. And neither do you.
I write, because I value myself. What I say matters, and I enjoy the process. I honestly don't give a rat's ass if 98% percent of y'all just stand in your circle in the playground and snicker at me. I am of no value to most of you. And I am more than okay with that. I fucking love it.
A very small number of people that read this will get it. To you, stay strong. Help others, but help yourself first. I'm not saying this because I care, but because the world is sliding into the shitter. Some of us that are clear thinking, independent, and strong will have to unclog the crapper. I can't do it by myself.
Then again, maybe I won't even bother. I can take care of my wife, and I raised my kids right and they can take care of themselves. Maybe later, when I have grandkids, my Care Factor may come up from 0.01 to 0.02. Maybe.
Thanks for reading. I'd like to say I hope you got something out of it, but I don't. Hope, that is. I don't do that.
What do the kids say today? "I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you."
And I hope no one got their feelings hurt... really.