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Hyperosmia

You ever wish you had a super-power? If you did, I bet you wish it wasn't a super sense of smell.

Well, I've been thusly cursed. At a ball game, I can smell the nachos three rows down. When I cleaned carpets, it sure came in handy. I had a painful, lingering sinus inflammation last year. So bad, my jaw even hurt. Don't know if it was related.

But yeah, In the Marines, I could smell the other patrol coming 'cause some of their guys used too much cologne and bug juice. So those stories about the Viet Cong doing that, true. One of the causes of Hyperosmia is genetic. Funny, I don't look Vietnamese.

But is sometimes does suck. I spent a couple of hours yesterday shampooing our rugs and carpet. Our dog is really old. He excretes oils and has occasional bladder accidents. I came home yesterday, opened the door... and gaged. My son was just sitting there.
"Christ! You don't smell THAT!?"
"No Dad, Sorry. I don't."
And neither do my wife or daughter. Well, the carpets are clean now.

My bus ride a few days ago was Hell on wheels. In addition to poor hygiene, someone took a cloud bath in dope. Pot and body odor. I was seriously ready to get out and walk. All you pot apologists, blah blah. It was no better, actually worse than a urine soaked drunk with an after scent of vomit. At least the drunks aren't on my bus at 4PM, they have the good sense to not be on the bus until later. But pot is socially acceptable now.

Fine. I'm taking a gin bath, and riding the number nine bus down the hill next week. Screw you all.
My boss will give me a month off to sober up, and I can shampoo the rugs some more. I smell a win-win.

Comments

When I was about 19 I woke up once with that super power. It only lasted about a day. Normally my sinuses are a little clogged, so my sense of smell is just slightly more sensitive than usual. Late one night after puking up a bunch of beer I remember that there was a long release of fluid from up inside my nose. Not beer or puke, but clear water or liquid from somewhere up inside my head, Ha-ha, brains are white or grey so it wasn't that- not really snot, either. Anyway, next morning I was able to smell things like I'd never been able to before. It was like having a really strong sense of taste. Too bad by the end of the day I was just like I was before. I really enjoyed it while it lasted.
 
Ha ha Kevin, when in high school, I had a
similar experience, puking but related to
the looong, loooong, seemingly never ending
string of nasal yuk... it was epic and has
never happened since.... joyfully. Have always
had a good sense of smell and it increases as
I get older...something to look forward to boys
 
Winston, I would highly suggest you use your sense of smell to good purpose! Well, you could earn from it, you know. Sniffing wine for wine producers and offering your services to homeland security or something to sniff out drug smugglers. ;-)
I have known people who have completely lost their sense of smell after a viral flu type thing and never recovered it. Happened to my cousin a few years ago and she was pouring stale, spoilt milk in everyone's coffee because she couldn't smell it. Then there was an incident with a skunk....
 

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