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Drifting

How many swimmers out there? Now how many of you are rocks?

From my experience, the main difference between the buoyant and not-so-buoyant is simple. Economy.
You don't have to be strong or talented to be a good swimmer, you just have to learn to not panic. Once you realize that you can float, the strokes and kicks come easy.
But you can't force it. Folks that thrash and flail burn a ton of energy, lose their breath, then dip below the surface. Learn rhythm. Kick, stroke, breath... repeat.

Just some chaotic musing. When you learn survival swimming, the key is to alternate strokes and distribute the effort to different muscle groups. Then, when you feel overall fatigue, you float on you back and drift. Tilt your head back, gently flutter kick, and breath.

So that's the clumsy analogy. I'm drifting. The water around me (my life) is calm, but I am tired. I know how to swim, but I tell myself I need to save my strength. Because despite knowing how to swim, and being in good shape, I still think I will slip below the surface. I will thrash, panic and lose my breath. It's an irrational fear. But most fear is irrational.

I don't come here as often as I used to. But I think about many of you (and even worry about some). It seems like I'm never inspired to write anymore. I'm on-call again today for work, waiting for the phone to ring. Earlier this morning, I had to palletize five 55 gallon drums for a customer. He showed up to pick them up in a compact truck. I would have laughed, but part of me really expected that.

And that's the rub. Nothing surprises me any more. I see the insanity in our social / political world, and I yawn. I should laugh, or cry, or be angry.
Independence Day is coming up. I didn't even buy any fireworks this year. Been there, done that.

Anyway, my hubris was thinking that someone maybe noticed that I'm not as active on The Writing Forums as I have been. No problem here. Just on my back, flutter kicking. I should swim. I'm actually not too bad at it. It just seems there's no where to swim to.

Comments

Winston,

how strange that only this morning, I was, AM, having similar thoughts regarding WF.
Not that I was ever VERY active in here, nor can I lay claim to writing skills or accomplishment, but the dithering does seem to have dried up.
My enthusiasm for day to day life, the nine to five, the weekend shopping, the bus-trips out of town, then home to drink until I crash , just isn't there any more.
It all just seems so mundane now and at my age I really can't be bothered to care.
 
[h=1]Not Waving but Drowning[/h][FONT=founders_grotesk_textlight][h=2]Stevie Smith, 1902 - 1971[/h]


[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking
And now he’s dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.

[/FONT]
 
Sometimes I feel like I've said what I've said though I've a lot more that I could say, but there's only a handful here that would bother to listen and so what's the point? I, we , end up at the blog, or silent. Sometimes, a comment or two. That's the way of it. Most of my scribbles are stored in notes somewhere where no one will ever see (or would care to bother- I wouldn't ...) At least I got some practice, right? Learned how to 'speak' some before I go.
 
Women go through that phase as well.
I call it phase because while a kind of
complacency sets in , I feel, as we get
older we don’t have anything to prove
anymore. In the past we were pushing
forward, careers, families etc. some
dreams came true others dissolved but
always looking forward... now... a pain
here, a pain there, we accept our bodies
are not young anymore and freak out a
little....I think thats when we loose our
curiosity for new things and adventures
..... but...with a nudge ofself-discipline
or just a kick in the but-tocks,
curiosity can be restored....
What did you ever wonder about?
What did you ever think might be fun?
What if you tried something a different way?
 

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