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Do Not Attempt

Just a quick rant:

What is up with every TV commercial embedding a tiny "Do not attempt" disclaimer at the bottom of the screen?!

May as well finish it with:

"You are part of a failed society that is clumsy, stupid and brainwashed. You're risk-adverse because you're all perpetual children with no common sense. Coddled into and throughout adulthood, you think a Participation Award is preferable to actually winning. Or even being good at something.
So just don't try it. Whatever it is. At home, or anywhere.
Our lawyers made us put that disclaimer on the screen, but be honest with yourself, it's for your own good. You might hurt yourself. Or, worse yet, hurt your feelings. And we need happy, stupid, timid people to buy our products.
Thank you."

I don't direct this toward anyone here, or our community in general. Just seems like that's what they think of us.

I often imagine the men of the 101st Airborne looking out of their C-47 transports on D-Day...
"I don't know, Lieutenant. That's a long drop. Can we just go back to the jump tower and practice some more?"

Just jump. For God's sake, jump.


This why I have on the bottom of my sig..."God hates a Coward." While I could never be accused of playing it safe, there are many who have played everything with as little risk as possible...There loss
Welcome to 2016, kids.

This is a frozen pizza. You are reminded to remove the plastic wrap from the pizza before you place it in the oven.
This is an electrical outlet. You are reminded to avoid sticking anything inside.
This is a toy. You are reminded not to eat the small parts and pay little to no attention to lead traces.
This is a washer. You are reminded not to place any other human inside.
This is a chainsaw. You are reminded not to touch the wrong end.
This a carton of eggs. You are advised with caution because it contains eggs.
This is Children's Benadryl-D Allergy & Sinus. You are advised with caution to avoid alcoholic drinks and seek a health professional if you are pregnant or breast feeding.

This is 2016.
The other thing that gets me, is the advertisements for medications.

"You won't have a headache, but if your heart stops beating, if your chest hurts, if you start bleeding from any orifice, if you experience unusual pain or numbness, asthma, or hemorrhage, stop use immediately."

Yeah, I'll take the headache. Thanks.

Seriously though, it's all legal bullshit. Apparently the only protection from people suing for misuse is to cover every possible stupid thing you can think of and put a warning label on it.

The human race isn't going to get any more intelligent if they're treated like helpless babies.
Caution - contents may be hot. Well, Jesus. I hope I am ordering my coffee hot. If I wanted an ICED COFFEE, I'd ASK!

I shit you not, I saw a commercial of someone in a car, wearing a seatbelt, doing 70 and turning slightly on a freeway.

They had the fucking audacity to say "professional driver on closed course - do not attempt."

... Have... have you ever wanted to bash your head into your television before?

I didn't.

Until I saw that commercial.

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