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Cockney Speak

cockney slang.jpg

Cockney speak is rhyming slang and what we use when in the gang.
So listen well my foreign friends, don’t think too much and just pretend this nonsense
you don’t understand, is not planned - just rhyming slang.

I’ll start my lesson so listen well and as for meaning - try not to dwell as to why
stairs are apple and pears because no one knows or really cares.
A phone is paired with a dog and bone. Strange. I know so please don’t groan.

Your hat is called a tit for tat. I bet you weren’t expecting that!
Feet are simply plates of meat but please don’t fret they're not there to eat as your Friday curry
is christened, Ruby Murry.
Do you need a drink or two to help digest or maybe think?
Then remember, don’t imbibe too much as you’ll get Brahms and Liszt and yes,
you’ve guessed it – you’ll get pissed!
And excess fluids could induce a Jimmy riddle, no not a rhyme, just a piddle!

Your trouble and strife, what a fitting rhyme for your good wife
who will doubtless say “I don’t Adam and Eve it “ which is rhyming slang for,
I don’t believe it! So next time you brew her a nice pot of tea ask her if she’d like some Rosie Lee

And now this lesson is good and done go speak Cockney and have some fun!

Pixabay Image by Gerard De Mooij


My cockney geezer used to stand up in the pub and go for a 'gypsies'

- softy, I translated this as Gypsy Lee [hew, twee].

Quite wrong, he waz ga'in for a Gypsy's kiss.
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