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chicken or the egg

went a poetry night last night at The Egg Cafe last night but chickened out at putting my name down to read a poem out...sat there and listened then opt it.


Haha! I used to go to a local open mike night at a local cafe. I really enjoyed it. I even read a few poems. People didn't get the more abstract ones, but prefer the more straightforward and vivid ones.
That brings back memories. Years ago, i did a course at my local college, English.
We'd all been given the task of writing some sort of composition/essay type thing.
Well, when we turned up back at the class that evening, the tutor invited me to read mine out to the class.
Gasp! Shock! Horror! No way lady, it aint gonna happen.
"May i read it out to the class then?"
Same thoughts occurred, G, S, H, N w.
Back off eh? i thought to myself, pick on somebody else.
It all seemed so surreal at the time, a blur, in a class of about 15, i was trying to make like it hadn't happened.
Well, the moment passed, the tutor moved quickly on.
It wasn't until many years later, when i ran into one of those fellow students, that i learned what a stir it had caused, apparently the whole class talked of nothing else, for days afterwards.
Maybe, she was obviously wanting to put mine up as an example, but for what?

She once told me that i had a certain style, that's not to say that i actually HAD style, but that she'd know my stuff anywhere.

I never forgot that.

I DO wonder if i really should be even trying to write, i'm here because i am so in awe of a writer. I'd read his stuff and think "i wish i could do that,see with his eyes, think his thoughts", y'know?

But you can't BE somebody else.

If/when i get myself back on track, mentally, i shall try to get writing again, but for now, i'm just not in the right frame of mind.


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