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captain kirk ruined my day

the other day i watched a star trek movie and kirk said to scotty i will not die alone.....in they come into your head and out they go but the other night i dreamt about being at a funeral an sittting there thinking will any of my two kids come to my funeral..when i woke up my first reaction was to knock that train of thought to one side and get on with the day..later on i go down the road and out of a driveway walks a crow and it didn't look good..it was bald and one of it's wings were messed up..it looked like it had been mauled by a cat and i stopped looking at it as it cwalked onto a main road...further on i came across a hedgehog with it's guts hanging out being pushed to one side by an electric gate as it opened to let a car out....so i think this morning i'm thinking about death and here i am with total negative images making me feel sad....on the way back i have to pass a new build of appartments for retired people and they have signs along the road..the final faze now released and selling fast but on one of the gate entrance to the new complex is an estate agents board with a for sale sign...so my i'm thinking crap things an i wonder if who ever but the gaff had passed not long after moving in....weird the way one sometimes diverts a way of thinking but other things happen to set it all of in my head........


well i should be of to berlin thursday and instead i had to go the post office to hand in my passport renewal for £85....might have had summit to do with it....
Berlin sounds like a fun trip away from uk, 85quid you might as well buy a new one.
We all die alone.
A wise man once wrote:
"Death is everywhere, there are files in the windscreen,
For a start.
Reminding us... we could be torn apart."
Just be the windscreen. Not the bug.
Physically but I was thinking about the phycological aspect...to me death is finite so while alive I would rather ponder such things and accept my journey...better to have regrets than what if's stuff...

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