As strange as the concept of consciousness is, I would like to think that, in some ways, it can be tied to our thought patterns.
If we spend years in a certain state of mind, pondering similar things, doing the same activities, forming habits... those mental pathways become stronger. Harder to overwrite. The connections between them and others also grow stronger. Easier to remember, to access.
Whereas, of course, the stuff we don't use seems to drift away. Far away. That odd place where the unused information goes.
Did you know? Computer memory, when deleted, is not truly erased. It can only be overwritten. All the computer does is basically change that memory's status to 'empty,' and whatever you write over it becomes the new data. But until that happens, it is never truly erased.
We liken our brains to computers. If this consciousness, the thing I am, is tied to this physical brain, the cloud of synapses... Wouldn't it change along with our neural pathways?
We change constantly, and so do our lines of thinking. But we don't truly forget anything. It's still there, just further away. Unused and forgotten.
Have you ever gone backwards on that track?
People who fight addictions, anger problems, etc, will sometimes... revert. Back into the old way of thinking. They might say 'That was the old me.' It's hard to fight off, because the longer you thought and acted that way, the stronger those pathways are.
I think, sometimes, our old pathways light up instead of the new ones. We might do or say something that we haven't done in a long time. Go back to an older pattern of thinking or behavior.
That's what I feel like right now. Today I acted a lot like my much younger self. I didn't really realize it until I caught myself doing and saying things that I haven't done in years.
What old memories. What old things I haven't thought and said in a long time.
Nostalgia is strong today. <,<