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Blog: midnightpoet

3:00 am March 31, 2020 Vickie awoke, checked blood sugar: low (58), had to fix quick bfast; heated sausage/egg sandwich we keep in freezer for just these occasions. 3:30 am I'm still awake, loaded dishwasher, made self bowl cereal, V still awake was cold needed blankets. Temp outside 51f...
Ever have the overwhelming need to rant? Shout to the heavens about how life is unfair? I want to, but I'm not going to do that. For one thing the whole problem is mainly my own fault. Back in Nov found out I needed my birth certificate to get my driver's licence renewed (which is a separate...
I know I've always been crusty and cynical, but at this point I strive to be a curmudgeon. I may not be old enough yet, but I'm getting there. So here I sit, gibing the world the middle fingered salute and laughing at the world's stupidity. However, there are some people here that my agree...
Good news and bad news: wife is feeling better, but now she wants my rear to get busy on summer projects. Today a fence in the front yard. Temp today supposed to be 108f. Luckily I've got a local handyman to help - we started about 9, about noon I'm wilting (it's already 95f)so rather than...
When I first came here it seems that prose was in ascendency - lately though most of the new members seem to be poets, and it's like poetry has risen in popularly. As a poet myself I find this a good thing but I wonder if it has anything to do with rising education levels. More...
No, today is #39, next year is 40. Bad memory strikes again! Wonder If I'll remember it next year.
A day which will live in insanity. Two people driving each other koo-koo for 40 years. Did I say she had a temper? One of the most memorable was one day she got pissed at me and tossed guacamole salad - hit me right in the chest. It was so ludicrous we both started laughing. To this day she...
A lot written here on crits/critiques lately: Giving them - Prose, I've learned by being a judge here a lot depends on characterization and plot - interesting characters doing interesting things. But of course what is interesting to one person may not be to another, so any comments would be...
Some may remember a preacher some years ago that claimed "Send me 20 bucks and something good will happen to you!" Or something like that. That's B.S. of course, but I got to thinking well this new year maybe I'll accidently have a run of okay luck if nothing else. That old saying if it...
Don't like whiners, but 2017 was a very bad year. Vickie has been to the hospital 4 times this year, I've been once. She's still afflicted by uncontrollable diarrhea; the doctor as yet found a way to stop it - even the $1000.00 a month pill didn't work. I've been buying Depends...
I wish I could say things are getting better; my wife has made progress in her recovery, although she still has a long way to go. Just getting dressed and coming to the living room is progress. My own depression comes and goes, right now I'm so inundated with bills and problems it's...
My brother Jack died today, although it wasn't unexpected - he was 91. A WW11 vet, me married his wife (she was the one who called me) in 1951 or 52. In any case they had been married at least 75 years. God. 75 years. It really hits you when it's close like a brother. Worked for the post...
Some people say they have no regrets; and that's fine for them - for me, I've got to many to count. Getting married is one of them; my current wife and I do love each other, but we are so far apart on others. I've come to realize I'm a minimalist (took me 73 years to figure that one out, duh)...
I never thought I'd have a yardman, but with my wife's health deteriorating I was too exhausted to do much else. In truth, I never liked yardwork - especially mowing a weed-whacking. It's boring as hell. I enjoy woolgathering while I'm walking the dog, but I might lose a toe if I tried it...
"Hello, my name is Tony, and I'm an internet addict." "Hello, Tony" Geez, the first thing I do every morning it turn on the bleeping computer. The first place I log on to is this forum, which would be fine if I actually accomplished something. Which I do, every now and then. Mostly I just...
Continuing my own series on depression, I see that some people say they have no regrets because if the things hadn't happened to them they wouldn't be the person they are today; that's fine for them, I even applaud them - but for me I've got plenty of regrets and the thing is, I don't like what...
Some recent posts have brought up a question as how others view your situation. Just the statement "I'm depressed today" does not mean you have clinical depression. Maybe you are just whining, or sad. Even people close to you may not realize your real situation. I had clinical depression. I...
Many experts say that depression is a disease, it's not your fault. Well, in some cases I'm convinced you can worry yourself into depression through self-doubt, poor self-image, and an attitude that if it's not my fault it must be someone else's. Regardless, self-doubt is one of the most...
By exploring the roots of my own depression, I hope I help some others who still struggle. One of my root causes was a poor self-image. I never was able to live up to his expectations. I remember one time after my second marriage he was over to the house and I showed him some shelves I...
My wife has often told me that I go through life like a leaf on the wind; life, wherever it takes me. It's a defense mechanism, I just let life happen. It has its drawbacks, and depression is one of them. Things happen to me, rather than going forth and making them happen, then it snowballs...

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midnightpoet
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