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Blog: Kevin

My outside is but a shell. My innards are the real inside part, outside of me is the real-but-falsely attributed to as to what I'm actually which is so so important to all of you- my inner whole being- in that your stabbing, slaughtering, oppression of references, your how dare you see and refer...
And what are those ? Undetermined, unutterable, pale-obsolescence asked at the entire school on the stringer. Why, those are stunned pansy-fish. They don't look like pansy fish. Well, they are now. And what is that being applied to their... lower portions? We're candying them- makes them more...
... I'm better now. The video history 'E' showed me caused a crisis of conscience, but I'm over it. I've made a recommitment. I'm sure 'E' was testing me. I almost failed. I felt bad for all those individuals that were killed during that time but I don't anymore. Feeling bad isn't necessary...
... It's been two weeks and I am still thinking about the accident I saw, about the guy that flew in his wheel chair. Its not that I care about what happened to him, I mean I do, but not really- he's a complete stranger who I know nothing about, but I'm thinking about the accident, about what...
... I saw a guy in a wheel chair get run over. He didn't actually get run over, but he got hit. It was a busy intersection and I was stopped, and I noticed him because he kept going into the crosswalk and staying there after the light changed, into the street, then back out on the corner. He...
... The police called me. I didn't know how they got my number. They said they needed to get a statement from me. I was in such a panic I didn't ask what for. All I could do was say 'fuck- fuck-fuck...' I assumed that I was going down. They asked to come over and I said no, I'd go there...
... #14 We had some new members- some new people that showed up. They definitely brought some energy. 'E' thought they were brilliant. They spoke about the country's long standing policies, and again how 'outcome' is the ultimate proof of a thing. Outcome is everything. It proves the...
#13
... #13 - (a Friday) thoughts outloud It was a blizzard day. I got up early and made several deliveries, then worked a 6. I don't feel sick or anything, but I feel like this day ran me, not that I ran my day. The only thing I look forward to is the meetings, and the time I feel...
... #12 I had a vision. Not like an actual vision, like I 'saw it' or something, but more like I understood a 'bigger picture', the bigger picture. We keep talking about the fairness and the justice were working towards; the equality- but I think I saw the equity ( I'll have to go over...
... #11 I got in a fight. Actually, I got beat up. It was three on one. I was on the phone with a friend. Some guys overheard what I was talking about. They flat out asked what I was up to. I was putting out a some papers at this coffee shop. We'd had them printed. "This is you?" one guy...
#10 ... I don't know but I think she's some kind of attorney. I mean "E" of course. She's very secretive, and she basically told me I ask too many questions. I guess the less I know the better just in case I get arrested or something. Speaking of which, I'm going to have to move again...
#9
... #9 Another meeting. I swear, they must try to find the dumpiest, dirtiest places. The rent must be cheap ( if they're paying rent). I can't say where it was, but let's just say that I wouldn't want to be there after a certain hour. The time of the meeting was bad enough. We do these...
... #8 Officers, the higher ups, police, army, fire departments. Captains and above, eventually lieutenants. And anyone that is a professional with a degree. The possible exposure to the study of incorrect ideas in their past is greater. Dangerous thinking. Anyone scholastically inclined...
... #7 I was looking up the word cult/occult. It means hidden or secret; like our meetings. I had thought it was about religion, but it doesn't have to be that. Anything secret. Things that are not public, for now. Anyway... I haven't told anyone, but I've already started. That's what's...
... There's entirely too much talking. These others? Talking to the masses is ridiculous. First, they say they agree with us, but then they're not sure. They say things like 'that's too much; too harsh' or 'shouldn't we discuss it?' One even said there should be a vote. No! There are some...
(I've decide from now on to number these. The first one was about my favorite movie. The rest I'm calling my thoughts outloud. It's probably confusing, I know. For me, too. Oh well...) ... We had another meeting, and She was there at that meeting again. I'm not going to say where the meeting...
... People have this misconception about freedom. It doesn't mean doing or saying anything you want. That's just wrong. You can't go around raping and killing at random, just like you can't yell 'Fire!' in a movie theatre. That would just be chaos, like we have now. True freedom has to do...
... Breaking things, breaking eggs. There are those who want it all to be nice and easy, the transition period, but it won't be. There will be those who don't make it. Or those who were the ones that actually made things how they were, and they should go. They really must go. We know what...
I'm sitting here feeling wrong, again. I often do this. My friend tells me all the time that I shouldn't think about it- that in time all the wrongs that really matter will get fixed, and that any new problems - and there always will be new ones- will get fixed as they arise. For now, I...
I was watching my favorite movie Doctor Zhivago- which is about a man's struggles with giving up the last vestiges of his bourgeois life- truly inspiring and should be shown to all children- when someone knocked on the door. I thought about grabbing my glock, but decided not to as one time it...

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Kevin
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