Writing Forums

Writing Forums is a privately-owned, community managed writing environment. We provide an unlimited opportunity for writers and poets of all abilities, to share their work and communicate with other writers and creative artists. We offer an experience that is safe, welcoming and friendly, regardless of your level of participation, knowledge or skill. There are several opportunities for writers to exchange tips, engage in discussions about techniques, and grow in your craft. You can also participate in forum competitions that are exciting and helpful in building your skill level. There's so much more for you to explore!

Bits of Life - Being an adult is hard

I feel like I need to say nothing more. My title explains it all.

But I always have words, so I will say a few sentences.

I am sad.

I am tired.

I am anxious.

But I enjoy my coffee.

I enjoy waking up in my bed because I know I am safe.

However, I keep getting bills in the mail for medical things, and I don't understand why I'm getting charged more than what my plan says I should. Thanks, job, for your outstanding contribution to my health and giving me fantastic insurance.

I'm a bit of a mixed bag these days. I really don't like being so unsure of myself. I saw my friend tonight after work. Just to catch up briefly. She said I looked tired. I am.

I dunno.

Hmmm.

Yeah. I dunno. At least the last several days at work haven't been awful. At least I don't feel like I'm walking on egg shells around my manager. A circumstance occurred a few weeks ago and there was so much tension for the longest time. But things are okay. I still get anxious before going to work, but that's just my life at the moment.

The most annoying part of my being, is that I have great moments in my life and they bring me a lot of relief and happiness, I just honestly don't know how to keep those feels enough to combat the bad ones.

I know I need to go see someone, I've decided that much. It just hasn't happened yet.

But I wake up in the morning, and I'm living my life and that's everything.

Comments

the need to see someone about what your feeling is a step in the right direction..it could help but after you go through the experience you may conclude that the answer was inside you all along or not..were all dif....unsure,mixed up...this absurd world can make you wonder at times but your world might be full of fear and as long as you don't stay trapped there is a way out that you can only find..good luck
 
When I was being bullied at work (I told you about this, Ash) I lost my self-confidence and had anxiety attacks and all sorts of other crap. By chance someone recommended a life coach. She did not try to analyze me or prescribe pills for depression etc she listened and listened and listened... while I talked and cleansed my mind of all the emotions and self-doubt. We went through a box of hankies and a few hugs. (She was tactile like me) When I came up for air we then formulated a plan to put my life back on track. Pidgeon steps... tip toes... then great strides. It was thanks to her I set up my own business.

It wasn't easy but I got there.

You can do this Ashley.
 
escorial;bt7974 said:
the need to see someone about what your feeling is a step in the right direction..it could help but after you go through the experience you may conclude that the answer was inside you all along or not..were all dif....unsure,mixed up...this absurd world can make you wonder at times but your world might be full of fear and as long as you don't stay trapped there is a way out that you can only find..good luck

You're totally right. I think the biggest thing I'm struggling with right now is that I can't find that inner voice giving me an answer. I need some coaxing. Thanks for reading esc.
 
PiP;bt7976 said:
When I was being bullied at work (I told you about this, Ash) I lost my self-confidence and had anxiety attacks and all sorts of other crap. By chance someone recommended a life coach. She did not try to analyze me or prescribe pills for depression etc she listened and listened and listened... while I talked and cleansed my mind of all the emotions and self-doubt. We went through a box of hankies and a few hugs. (She was tactile like me) When I came up for air we then formulated a plan to put my life back on track. Pidgeon steps... tip toes... then great strides. It was thanks to her I set up my own business.

It wasn't easy but I got there.

You can do this Ashley.

Thank you Carole. Yeah, I've thought about a life coach. I'm not quite sure what road to go down long term. I definitely think I want to see someone who can tell me if I have a legitimate mental condition (which I feel like, on some level I do) or if I just need some basic counseling to get through emotional baggage that has built up in my life.

Baby steps for me. Big baby steps. Sometimes I surprise myself that I'm deciding to take that next step because I always hated the idea of having to talk to someone because I've always felt like I should be able to fix my own problems. That's where guilt comes in. But my being tired of living day to day like this has overwhelmed my guilt and pride and I know it's something I have to do, to move forward in life.
 
Only you can make that decision, Ash.

I had been bottling up 'life' for years and all I needed was to let the 'baggage' go and move on with some sort of plan. The fact you've opened up at all and been so honest is a good start, yes?
 
your brain hurts alot dealing with the self and it's so frustrating when you can't control the inner voice.....feeling trapped is a tuff way to feel everyday....stay safe and survive being you today and tomorrow....and some time in the future you could heal yourself.....
 
hustle through another day and let your head drop them bombs..but never let it go that in time you can put all this behind you and use the experience to appreciate just who you are..then and in time....now
 

Blog entry information

Author
am_hammy
Views
53
Comments
7
Last update

More entries in Creative Writing 101

Top