Anxiety decides for me if I leave the apartment and if it is safe to do so. Anxiety sometimes allows me to make the daring choice to write this blog. Put my thoughts and feelings out into the world to be watched, dissected and pulled apart like one of the frogs in my childhood. Sometimes it's a big struggle to tell my anxiety. I am doing this, I am doing this right now. Impulsively push myself into whatever decision I've decided to favor like jumping into cold water. Once the decision is done its best not to think of every single drawback that might possibly happen. Best not to dwell. My mind is a white cloud.