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Another lonely one. Yeah.

I know I know.

But hey, I haven't turned to self-injury and isolation.

Isn't it better just to briefly whine, then continue about your business? Still get some stuff done in the meantime.

I did do a lot. Still sore from moving a bunch of equipment to a new shed, then I got my machete and carved up wood to nail together an axe. Pretty fun to swing around.

Grandma found my old phone, so I have music again. Hoorah.

Just did my daily quests on WoW. It's gonna take forever, but I WILL have that jade dragon mount!

Now for what I'll complain about. xD

Rumor has it my cousin's BF will be proposing to her tonight, after the Alabama college football game. Classic gentleman, that one. Apparently he didn't take into account if THEY LOSE. My uncle, VERY competitive, would likely not take the news well if that happens. Idiot.

My former best friend will also be proposing.

Did I mention he can't afford his own rent, or groceries? His manager also changed his position because he 'wasn't getting it.' (Said position is pharmacist at a drug store.) Despite said person being husky and strong as a bear, he doesn't like sweating, so apparently doesn't want a job which involves ACTUAL WORK.

Well if you can't do a job that involves brain work, and you refuse a job that involves physical work, you'll be on the streets in no time, because that's what defines an employee who is useless in every aspect.

But at least you'll live in a cardboard box with your favorite girl. Wise decisions all around.

My brother is doing better than those two. He excels at his job and has a variety of interests.I mean, he's still a dork. But you can't fault him for it I suppose. Still, emotionally he has much maturing to do. His supposed GF has a few... issues.Granted, everyone has issues. But some, more than others.

I doubt he's emotionally ready to provide for her in that manner, without losing patience or getting frustrated with her.

I had issues. I have issues. He only got frustrated with me. We are brothers, and that happens, but my mind draws a correlation. Also based on his reactions to others with mental problems, I just doubt he could be that close to her and not snap like he did with me and others.

It annoys me to see people throw caution to the wind just for love. I may be bitter, and make frequent use of sarcasm as a poorly concealed coping method, but even if I found my dream girl tomorrow, I'd have the balls to admit that I wouldn't be quite ready to provide for her, mentally or physically.

But men are known for making decisions using something much lower than our brains, aren't we?


When you're on the outside, it's easy to shoot things full of holes.

Sometimes this perspective is a good one. When you're in a relationship, often you're blind to things. You don't want to believe your partner is cheating on you for example, especially after all the time and trust you put in. I know you want to help, and they just won't listen. That's why they have to get burned and learn it the hard way.

That's how I am.

Is it really a bad thing though? Yeah, they get hurt obviously. But what matters is that they learn and grow. Easier said than done. It's the whole point though; how we figure out what red flags to look for, how we narrow the search. From every experience of mine, whether it just be as friends or dating, I have taken away something. This is why each time I would like to say I get farther. I'm not talking "farther" as in baseball terms. Maybe a better way to put it, is each go around is a better experience. You know what I mean.

While it is important to observe from the outside, you said it yourself that you wouldn't be ready if your dream girl showed up tomorrow. So YOU have to make sure to work on YOU too, trying to make it to that point. She probably isn't ready either. And when or if they come to you seeking advice, speak softly but carry a big stick. Until then, you're wasting time and breath.

Problems arise when you look at every relationship prior to "the one" as nothing more than a failure. Stay golden Ponyboy.

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Crowley K. Jarvis
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