I haven't talked about work much, aside from the occasional whining.
But I really shouldn't complain. Work is one of the constants in my life. What I mean by that is, one of the things that is predictable. I can assume and predict what most problems will be.(aside from emergencies of course.)
I come in, and do the same things. Every night. I know what's expected of me, and I'm trusted to be alone here for seven hours because they know I'm capable. if I wasn't, well I'd be fired. I'm grateful for that.
And it pays well.
Now, I'm no control freak. I don't like to assume command of others. I don't like to be 'in charge,' or 'wear the pants.' Usually I stay far away from such attention.
But, despite what young people themselves might tell you, it is true. We need order. organization. That's something we can comprehend.
From honest experience, my friends and myself, a large portion of angst and anger in youth is from simply being confused. Feeling lost, with a lack of real order or control.
That's something I never had. I was spoiled as a child. I'll admit it.
My Dad makes good money. I had every single game console. Laptops, TV, SUPER fast internet. I could do whatever.
I didn't do well in public school for many reasons. I took online courses.
So I never had a schedule. Every day was different. We had certain days to clean, that's about it. I was always confused. I never could figure out what my parents exactly wanted from me. I honestly still don't know exactly what they think, or what they expect.
Finally being moved out, and with this change of work, I suppose now I feel as if I have control.
If something doesn't get done, it's my own fault. I settle it with me and myself only. I come to work and do the same thing, then go home. I make different choices on my off days sure. I was scared of it at first. Now, it affords me a measure of mental security, a bigger sense of peace.
I don't have to worry and walk on eggshells anymore. Sure I might get married someday, but for now, I'm enjoying it.
I just thought I'd take a few minutes and ponder it. Ahhh...