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5:00 AM Dance! (Caps lock warning)

Ok, as I start typing, it's only 4:51. But close enough I says.

I just played a little bit of Morrowind, and for some reason, playing old games is still fun and gets my gearbox running!

Bunch of thoughts on my mind as usual.

--Me thinks, the correlation between depression and loneliness isn't exactly true in every case...People often turn to isolation, but many suffer from depression without feeling lonely, and many feel lonely without it 'advancing' to depression. Hmmmm....

As I've stated before, my delightful lack of brain chemicals only makes me grumpy. When I feel lonely is only based on just that: human contact, and when I start to have a LACK of human contact, I feel lonely. For me, whenever, say, I forgot to take le' meds, it never made the feelings of loneliness worse, per se...

That being said, I do feel quite lonely at the moment. Excuse me while I channel my Ice King: OH WHY WON'T SOMEONE LOVE ME! GROD IN THE SKY PLEASE TELL ME WHY!!!

...Not that.... I expect anyone to get that reference.... heh.... hehe.... MOVING ON!

--I really really really wish I lived near a Dojo, or kendo club. Sadly I don't think any exist in southern Georgia....

It's just sad. Owning an authentic, hand-made, razor sharp katana that could cut a falling leaf sitting still.... and not exactly knowing the perfect way to swing it. I mean, I've seen it done, read about it. I know how to hear the groove whistle to tell if the blade is straight...

But even if I needed to use it, I wonder if I'd be any good... it would be fun to REALLY learn.

--Wait, back to Ice King... Ice powers are my favorite. Like, between any possible superpower, I would still rather have ice powers. It's awesome. Hands down. NO! NO DISCUSSION! ICE IS THE BEST! Except that creatures in sub-zero environments are all ugly. I would need to selectively breed them before freezing the world.

-- I understand why people love tea. But many kinds of tea are straight nasty.

-- Oh well, fine, my thoughts on love. I know, whatever.

I don't believe in love at first sight. Infatuation, maybe. Yeah. Big rush. But true love? Doesn't happen. Also, a good bit of it is a subconscious decision which the sense of smell is involved in.

That being said? I do believe you can CHOOSE to love someone at the same time. Mostly because I hate the thought of my subconscious making a decision for me. NO! I must consciously make every decision! No automated processes!

The person your BODY and SUBCONSCIOUS likes, might not be the best person for you in reality. I believe it should be balanced with wise decision making. What decision making? If you have to ask, then you're hopeless already.

And people who say that they've 'hopelessly fallen in love' annoy me. I think it's simply a trait, if a given person strongly clings to their emotions or not. To explain my reasoning:

'Crowley, why did you punch that old man in the face?'

'He annoyed me, and I became hopelessly angry, so I punched him in the face.'

Who's with me? Nobody? Exactly. Being out of control of your anger is socially unacceptable.

But oh, the thought process of:

'Why do you stay in a relationship with ----- despite all the pain it's causing you?'

'Because I've hopelessly fallen in love with him/her' --

-Is somehow an accepted line of reasoning. Psssssh. I call BS. >,>

Wait, why didn't I put that in the thread for annoying things? Oh well.

...That will be all. You may be seated. xD


Well, maybe if you stop stealing princesses ...

Anyways, I see what you mean with 'hopelessly falling in love' . Its not logical -then again people say love isn't logical - but who am I to speak.
Right now I like two girls. One of them has a boyfriend, and my moral compass refuses to let me try to interfere with that (not that it would work if I tried; she's better than that) so I'm just going to try and be friends. The other I'm afraid to talk to because of past experiences, and because I don't have much opportunity... and creating the opportunity has almost never worked out well for me. I have talked to her a few times and she's cool and everything, but it didn't "click" if you know what I mean. Wasn't feeling chemistry. Which, that of course could change.

So between one-way crushes, ruining a really good friendship with a girl, getting used for homework by another girl, being cheated on by another girl who pretended to date me for 4 months, having been asked out by girls I don't find appealing, going on bad blind dates, or my current situation... you could say I'm a hopeless romantic.

That might be a step above being hopelessly in love.

P.S. Liked your blog for Morrowind. <3

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Crowley K. Jarvis
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