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  1. DNA Tests

    Hello, Customer

    Do you, like the rest of humanity, have questions about who you are? Do you have an identity crisis? Would you like one?

    Fear not. If the horoscope, the Myers-Briggs, your friends, your family, and your ex's failed to convince you of who you are, we can do it for a small fee.

    It's easy. You give us blood, and we pull the wool over your eyes. Now you have extra wool for the winter as well as a temporary feeling of identity and purpose.
  2. My new monitor...

    So glad it was a cheapo.
    Just read the instructions and I really don't see it happening.
    Easy to follow.
    I guess they hadn't reckoned an old fool like me.
    I shall persevere with my cranky old one for now.
    Might look into an I-phone but even with that I see similar problems.
    Technology eh?
  3. Just a little something...

    "There's no-one, only us." You whisper.

    "Good." I reply happily.

    It's just the two of us, laying in that abandoned field. Seagulls circling and cawing over head, as I laid trapped in your arms, your warm chest pressed against my back, making me shiver in delight. Rolling over I smile and just stare at your face bathed in the orange sunset. Pale blue eyes boring into mine and I know your seeing the real me buried deep inside. Your thick brown eyebrows ...
  4. The End of an Era

    I finished school for good yesterday. It's been seven years in the same place. It feels like I've spent an eternity at that school and yet hardly any time at all.

    Its like I've been a kite flying on a string for so long. Now the string is cut and I have an entire sky to explore. Except the ground has also magically disappeared.
    The reality hasn't fully hit yet. I've finished. Completely finished. For three months, I am free! How can I express what that feels like? Although there ...
  5. penis envy

    just bout to eat my orange in the sauna an this guy walks in an says...long time know see...the first time i came across this guy he was sitting in the sauna reading a paper and while i sweat like a pig he just sits of we gab a bit an he reads his paper...so he goes into what he's been up to an i think it was catterick or thirsk race meeting he was on about and what happened when they got back into the city...he ended up outside a pub smoking and talking to a women and guy who was a transvestite ...
  6. Staining my garden-fence...

    I'd forgotten how relaxing wood-staining my garden fence could be. It's probably too little too late now. I can't tell you how many years I've been saying " I really must give that fence a go this year. Weather permitting." Well? Today? I did it. Or rather, half did it. It's a long fence. I couldn't say, off hand, how many panels we have, nine? Ten maybe? I stained four, got stung by nettles, tripped and fell into under-growth, broke the handle of my cheapo paint-brush in two, cursed ...
  7. Theives

    Welcome the 21st Century. Here's how a watch gets stolen, and recovered. And the collateral damage.

    My son's school never has enough money for... anything. This includes something as simple as functioning lockers. At gym class, my son left his wallet, phone and watch in one of those "press your luck" lockers. Minutes after depositing his items, someone told my boy his locker as ajar. Sure enough, the lock mechanism had been pried. He discovered that his smart watch ...
  8. Mortal Engines movie

    Words cannot describe how excited I am for the Mortal Engines movie. Sure, it came to prominence in the glut of YA dystopian sci-fi, but its unique setting and a decidingly quirky approach to the genre gave it a much needed identity from the crowd.

    I'm a little upset that Hester (the girl with the scarred face) doesn't look more hideous. But that honestly is minor compared to the fact that WE HAVE A BLOCKBUSTER STEAMPUNK FILM COMING TO THEATERS THIS DECEMBER.

    PRAISE THE ...
  9. Marooned on Planet EARTH - Devynn's Dilemma

    I've finally finished my young adult novel today. I'm really glad I went over it one more time. I'm sure there are a few flaws I missed, but I caught some big ones I can't believe I missed the last time through.

    Also had to do some research to make sure my legal facts were right and I'm happy to say, they are. My story would not be the same if I have to take a different direction at the end. Plus I had to also look up some military related stuff to see how it works when a married soldier ...
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Images
  10. The Broken View of Child Shooters

    A child walks into a school and begins shooting people and the first official response to this, in terms of discourse, is gun control.

    No one seems to want to understand why the kid decided to shoot other kids, what drove them to it, and how we fix that issue. That person get's stamped as a crazy person and then gun control is flagged around for the next two weeks. Reactionary kids hold marches and parades, bright-eyed and fierce, full of their own impassioned beliefs and convictions ...
  11. Mind Control

    Does your taste in fiction have anything to do with your personality?

    I've wondered this for a very, very long time. Like high school time. And I'm 22. At least it feels like a long time.

    Either way, a lot of my interests begin to solidify at that time. That was where I discovered the "-punk" subgenre of science fiction, particularly the retro-futurism derivatives. You know, steampunk, dieselpunk, atompunk, you name it. I had a fascination with film, but it was ...
  12. Birds and bees

    Someone did an experiment where they captured some small birds just before they made a North-South migratory flight of over a thousand miles, put them in closed boxes, and transported them East-West, sideways the same sort of distance. Not a very nice thing to do I thought, but it worked out. They put micro trackers on the birds and released them, thinking they might return to where they were captured, or they might be completely lost, they had been in closed boxes for the journey. Neither, they ...

    Updated May 29th, 2018 at 12:01 AM by Olly Buckle

  13. When you don't know who to trust...

    Or even HOW to trust.
    Things going wrong here and I don't know what to do.

    Stuff needs doing on the house and I can't face taking the risk of being hit on by a rogue-trader.

    My pc monitor is on the blink and don't know how long this session will last. It could cut out at any moment.

    They stopped printing the "Yellow pages ", probably, I think, because of the electronic information highway but when your pc goes down how do you look for help? ...
  14. What is blogging?

    I don't really know how exactly this blogging thing works. I mean, I look at other authors' blogs, and I keep thinking about whether I'm supposed to blog like them or someone else. I get that it's supposed to be another word for a journal, except everyone has the key to it.

    But what am I supposed to say on a blog? What am I supposed to blog about?

    Am I supposed to blog about my man-crush on China Mieville and my enduring love of weird fiction? Do I blog about current events? ...
  15. First Time Out

    People have been egging me on to get me to start a blog, so here it is. I've given in.

    I surrender.
    *reveals stomach*
    I've finally done it.

    Either way, my name is Connor. I recently graduated from George Mason University, with a degree in Computer Game Design. I am a writer and artist, and I suffer from generalized anxiety and depression.
  16. The Incredible Shrinking Man

    No, not around the waist. We'll call that a stalemate. At least I'm not losing that battle.

    I just feel smaller. Which is funny, cause it' my world that s shrinking.

    We just put our dog down. He had chronic orthopedic issues. It's hard seeing the life still in your friend's eyes, and having to make that call. It's logical to rationalize and justify euthanasia. Still, I set my gym clothes by the stairs, and he's not there. I go to scrape my leftovers in ...
  17. Applying for job

    I have been home for 2 years and want to go back to work. I can't keep sitting in the house stress free. I have skills- I can work with the special ed children. I sometimes want to slam the computer keys out of frustration when I think about the idea of many women still having to sacrifice time in your career to have babies. I understand why many women are opting out of not to have children. It takes away from their career. They tell you, "You can have it all!" But its a lie. You ...
  18. The Future Is Not Written

    If there's one thing I've learned in almost 30 years, it's that shit happens whenever/however the fuck it will. Your actions, desires, or thoughts are irrelevant when the circumstances surrounding your situation lay outside of your control; all it takes is one thing (usually another person) to fuck up the flow of shit that you obligate yourself to making happen. Life has a natural way of balancing everything out, but time is the only real killer.

    Patience and perseverance have seen ...
  19. Fear is the Art Killer


    I've learned that fear limits you and your vision. It serves as blinders to what may be just a few steps down the road for you. The journey is valuable, but believing in your talents, your abilities, and your self-worth can empower you to walk down an even brighter path. Transforming fear into freedom - how great is that?

    Soledad O'Brien

    No Excuses. Just Write.
  20. Light the Candle, Instead of Cursing the Dark

    There is no value in shouting at the blind because they're unable to see. Instead, allow them to feel the truth through your art, where you can change their hearts.

    No excuses. Just write.
  21. A story I wrote for the local paper this past week

    image 2.jpg
    A Track Day at Watkins Glen

    The following is an account by racing enthusiast Bob Brown of Montour Falls regarding his experience at Watkins Glen International racetrack during a Track Day -- a regular learning event for a diverse group of drivers.
    By Bob Brown

    The story is here if your interested
  22. I Was Told Not to Do This but...

    I did it! I'm doing it!

    First, I've come to learn something about myself. As I age, if I get the notion, an idea to do something- and someone tells me not to do it- Iím doing it. Of course, we're talking about things that don't cause harm and aren't illegal.

    In the mix of writing, I took up a project someone told me was a waste of time.

    I'm going to spare y'all the putrid spewing that we all know people spit out when they're against something,. We all know ...
  23. Zankou Chicken on Sunset- a review


    I'm eating at Zankou Chicken again.

    For many years I've boycotted.

    Back in the 80's I'd had a bad experience.

    This was before the murders.

    I'd ordered falafel. It was slow to come. I'd thought, okay, they take awhile to brown. But that wasn't it. I think they were just slow and the girl that brought my order was rude. I was dirty from work but that's no excuse. It's a to-go joint, nothing fancy, cheap, fast-food; ...

    Updated May 19th, 2018 at 01:53 AM by Kevin

  24. Skipper Dan Was Wrong

    For those not familiar with the refined, classy works of Weird Al Yankovic, please view this before continuing:

    I've heard this song dozens of times. I suppose I've enjoyed a bit of Schadenfreude in the listening, but something about it always disturbed me.
    Today, it came to me. Skipper Dan isn't a victim to be pitied. He's a pussy.

    Here's the deal: You give up, you lose. If Skipper Dan has really given up, I feel ...
  25. My yearly hair-cut....

    The time is rapidly approaching now and once more I am faced with the getting the timing right. I have always, in the past, waited until June, or even as late as July, but, as I've aged my hair doesn't grow back as quickly or as thickly as it once might have , before I know it, the Autumn months quickly followed by Winter are upon us and I need all the hair-cover that I can muster.

    I wonder if it will attract any comments this year. I shall have what is known as " the half cut ...
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