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  1. Neetu's Avatar
    I've always been a strong believer in responsible parenthood. I know it is not always possible to be the perfect or even a good parent due to so many different circumstances in life. But if you cannot give the best of yourself to a child you give birth to, it would be better not to give birth at all. We have all the resources available to us to make informed choices, yet so many women and men don't. Mothers who are themselves traumatized, fathers who are reckless, etc, and the cycle continues from one generation to the next. No child should have to suffer because their parent suffered because it won't be surprising then if the child grows up passing on his/her suffering to the next offspring. I know it can't always be prevented, but if more people could stop and think what it means to raise a child and ask themselves if they're willing to take it on, it would reduce the pain to both the parent and the child.
    Giving birth is easy. Giving someone a life is much harder. And it takes some sacrifice of our own selfish agenda.
  2. Greyson's Avatar
    @theglasshouse, you're right about the last part for sure. i know she had a rather traumatic childhood, and a lot of her disorders arise from that. it's the getting there, the accepting of "i feel bad" but also not letting her get away with the abuse. I'm working on it though, along side a therapist. i appreciate all the kind words here. thank you all so much!
  3. Greyson's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Neetu
    greyson, please see my apology note in my first comment - I am so sorry!
    No worries, please! a totally understandable mistake on your part thank you for the supportive words!
  4. Theglasshouse's Avatar
    I suffer from a mood disorder (schizoaffective). I met one person with borderline personality disorder once. It seemed this person was a victim of abuse. I don't know much about it. They could use therapy as I saw one in nami which is a free organization for people with illnesses (located in the United States in every state with a free therapist). I suffer from a mood disorder that only becomes unstable after a lot of stress or depression. You will have better days I feel. Not everyone may be agreeable. But it's not her fault she is the way she is.
    Updated May 15th, 2020 at 12:47 AM by Theglasshouse
  5. dither's Avatar
    I imagine that it wouldn't be a pretty site actually.
  6. Asmoab's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by dither
    I often think of a wood that I used to walk through when I was a kid and one of my fondest memories is that carpet of bluebells, don't know if the wood is still there but I can see them as clear as day as I type this. It really was a wonderful, MAGICAL, place. You have a BARROW? How cool is that? I've always wanted to visit one of those sites. I have mixed feelings about those sites. Maybe I've watched too many films, read too many novels, but I often wish that it were possible to connect, in a psychic way, with those places, the history, the people, to glimpse another world, a moment in time, y'know?
    I really get that. I often think, when I'm somewhere historical, I'd give anything to go back in time to when this place was in its hay day and just see what it was like for 10 mins.
  7. River Rose's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Neetu
    Iím so sorry, dither. Thatís not a normal mother and sadly, there are women who donít have a naturally developed maternal instinct. You deserved better.


    Oops, my apologies, greyson! I meant to type your name above, instead I wrote "dither". It was a total slip of my mental train, off the tracks, unfortunately. I only just realized what I had typed.
    I totally agree w Neetu. Itís never the childís fault. Not an adult child, not a small child. Some women are have been abused themselves or as Neetu stated just lack a mothers instinct. They become narcissistic and play the victim to their own children. I apologize for her behavior. All children no matter their age deserve better. Much better. Hugs you.
  8. Neetu's Avatar
    greyson, please see my apology note in my first comment - I am so sorry!
  9. dither's Avatar
    I often think of a wood that I used to walk through when I was a kid and one of my fondest memories is that carpet of bluebells, don't know if the wood is still there but I can see them as clear as day as I type this. It really was a wonderful, MAGICAL, place. You have a BARROW? How cool is that? I've always wanted to visit one of those sites. I have mixed feelings about those sites. Maybe I've watched too many films, read too many novels, but I often wish that it were possible to connect, in a psychic way, with those places, the history, the people, to glimpse another world, a moment in time, y'know?
  10. Neetu's Avatar
    I’m so sorry, dither. That’s not a normal mother and sadly, there are women who don’t have a naturally developed maternal instinct. You deserved better.


    Oops, my apologies, greyson! I meant to type your name above, instead I wrote "dither". It was a total slip of my mental train, off the tracks, unfortunately. I only just realized what I had typed.
    Updated May 12th, 2020 at 01:59 PM by Neetu
  11. Ma'am's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by dither
    I did that, and now I have no-one.

    Life eh?
    I know a few people who seem to turn to their pets, rather than people, for companionship. (Dr. Phil, who apparently knows everything, calls it "relating down.") I used to think they were kind of strange but now I totally get it. People can be so disappointing but your cat or dog needs you and always thinks you're fabulous. Unless it's a cat but even then it still needs you.
    Updated May 11th, 2020 at 03:00 PM by Ma'am
  12. dither's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Ma'am
    I cut people out of my life who bring nothing to it but unnecessary misery, and also their personal drama agents. There is really no good option but that's the best one for me. Good luck with it.
    I did that, and now I have no-one.

    Life eh?
  13. Ma'am's Avatar
    I cut people out of my life who bring nothing to it but unnecessary misery, and also their personal drama agents. There is really no good option but that's the best one for me. Good luck with it.
    Updated May 11th, 2020 at 12:09 AM by Ma'am
  14. Gumby's Avatar
    Just know you're not alone in how you feel. Your mom sounds very similar to mine. She just recently passed away and I still have some very conflicted emotions to deal with. I will tell you what I have realized. Some people teach you wonderful lessons in life by setting a good example of how to be and some show you how not to be. That is the lesson I have learned from my mom. I couldn't change how she acted, no matter what I ever did. But I can control how her actions have impacted my life and how I react going forward.
    Updated May 11th, 2020 at 12:32 PM by Gumby
  15. Gofa's Avatar
    Well done you Thanks for taking me for a walk into your past
  16. Neetu's Avatar
    Perhaps, yes.

    Quote Originally Posted by dither
    A rite of passage perhaps?
  17. dither's Avatar
    A rite of passage perhaps?
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