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  1. Commitment

    I'm not in control of anything.

    That's what the man said.

    And I get it, sometimes. But I don't feel they get me. And so if I complain about that I literally don't exist.

    What are you on about boy?

    I've done been mentored
    I never had emotional support from my mother
    How the fuck have I survived

    Writing shit on the internet

    I'm better than that

    Am I

    Tags: 1984
  2. power

    she lay her head on my shoulder and stopped crying and i felt strong. I did not want to make her feel safer or cared much how long she would take before she lifted her head. A woman in distress makes me feel powerful. She waited for my words,she listened before deciding to talk and i did not care.She got up and walked into the bedroom and i could hear her crying behind the door.I looked down and there was wet make-up on my t-shirt. I opened the door, she looked up from the bed and as i walked to ...
  3. Recreating your self

    Listen to that very special place inside your stomach
    Tags: reality
  4. "i believe that everything happens for a reason"

    a Katherine wheel
    just spins violently
    out of control
    and hits
    a young
  5. I Wonder...

    If the modern scheme in storytelling is that the author writes half the book and the ending. He introduces obscure mysteries, gives half the answers, ends the story, and then generates three decades of controversy where fans compete to flesh out parts unsaid with constant speculation and theories.

    In such a way a story is as enduring as the idea of God because we know so little, but believe in it so strongly and deeply, that we create the God we seek more than we find it.
  6. 5:30 am commute


    I saw her there again this morning. Two shopping carts with a tiny lump under a blanket on the sidewalk. You could mistake that there was no one there.

    "The meeting takes place somewhere public- that way no funny business." She's on the busy street side of the corner 7eleven. It's brightly lit- No bushes. The front is parking lot -no room, the back is an alley where a homeless guy was beat nearly to death.

    It's a jungle.

  7. Habakkuk 2:2-3

    I always received these
    Clear vivid images
    In my dream eye
    Of performing
    As a professional footballer
    On the highest level

    I write plain on tablet
  8. Darkness

    Maybe I should buy a gun
    Shoot my mother and my doctor
    Then what
  9. The Root of All Evil

    They say money is the root of all evil...

    I think boredom is.
  10. Spoon feeding

    People need to be spoon fed ()
    Drip fed..
    Breast fed (.)

    Put to bed /o

    (Why would it be any different with writing?)
    ((Why would I be upset?))
    (((I am an everlasting psychic connection)))
    Tags: #5minutes
  11. Thorn-buried

    It was her glazed over eyes. I went in like Mike Tyson. I intimidate with eye contact. Dominate the room. I don't think that they handle me ever again. I felt unfortunate for her, caught in the crossfire. But I despise who she works for, and what the system stands for, and how it expects me to be a good boy. How far did that get me. It was her glazed over eyes. I knew I had lost her. I felt sorry for her. I am too caring.

    I need to be ruthless and dominate. And like a Lion, poked one ...
    Tags: #5minutes
  12. The Great War, 100 Years Later

    Veteran's Day is coming up, a day that used to be called Armistice Day.

    100 years ago, one the bloodiest conflict in human history ended with The Treaty of Versailles. The Armistice was signed between The Allies and (what remained) of the Central Powers. It was a "victory" for the allies, but at such a cost. The term Pyrrhic is hardly adequate.

    Much of the primary source material from that time is hard to digest. Grainy black-and-white video and biased ...
  13. And it's done

    Referencing Post

    I was told:

    Don't do it.
    You'll be wasting your time.
    Scrap it all and start over.
    You need to be working on 'forward-writing'.

    Like I said in the other post: as I age, if I get the notion, an idea to do something- and someone tells me not to do it- I’m still doing it. And it's done.

    For the last year, my focus has been on, not so much sorting my writing drive as it was eliminating the clone files. Today, I ...
  14. joy

    I've been discovering the joys of the 'ignore' feature recently. Far more enjoyable than getting annoyed by certain mindless members. I suppose I had been afraid of 'missing something'...but, yanno, I ain't missin' a thing.
    The internet is the home of the ill-informed hot take, so I shouldn't be surprised.
    On the other paw, I have two books coming out around the end of this week -- both of them are specfic/horror anthologies from Planet X Publications.
    Test Patterns: Creature Features ...
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Images
  15. Soiled


    I drank too much last night
    dreamed of electric sheeple
    shooting tv's and doctors,
    throwing Zanax and roofies
    from second floor
    bedroom bath windows
    on to metal roofs,
    pachinko-tinkling down pipes
    out to the lawn
    where squirrels waited
    coming down out of the trees
    rodent hands sorting/plucking
    from in between green blades,
    grabbing, gobbling, or
    cheek stuffing
    the abandoned ...

    Updated November 3rd, 2018 at 03:44 AM by Kevin

  16. Where I Am

    This guy at the shipyard was wearing the same shirt as me the other day. We both had a distressed US Marine logo t-shirt. He didn't notice me, but I noticed him.
    I'm a bad person. I'm judging by appearances. But the guy wearing my shirt was a long, long way from his fighting-fit Marine days. His spare tire came off of a semi truck. Genetics were not his friend, either, as his bald head glowingly broadcast.
    Schadenfreude? Yep. I'm (kinda) ashamed to admit at that moment I was ...
  17. It's all in the mind...

    MY MIND, probably, but as I look out from my little upstairs box-room window;

    Everything, the colours the lines and the shapes of all that I look at all seem so......... I don't know......sharp, vivid,,,, stark I suppose. Yes, sunshine is sunshine whatever the time of year but Autumn seems to bring everything into focus. It's as though everything, my garden fence, and the ornaments, are all bracing themselves, for the months ahead.

    Don't mind me, I'm just old, and bored. ...
  18. Neighbors


    The guy next door was out walking a new puppy.

    Cute doggy, but that's another checkmark against him. What happened to the other one? There was another dog they had, and I remember he was a runner.

    There's something wrong or lacking with those who can't train a dog. I may be a bastard for saying that, but that's what I believe. If you can't train a dog to not bolt, don't have a dog.

    He came at me with some crap about blocking the road , illegal ...
  19. Guilty


    My thumbnail hurts. Boo....hoo.

    It's pretty. The dead part that you trim off is a 'T' shape. That's because I split it with a razor knife a few weeks ago. I keep catching it on things.

    How pathetic. Lol. Considering the real suffering. For instance... I woke up with a stomach ache last night. I'd eaten too much. We'd gone to an expensive restaurant, and though I'd attacked my meal, about halfway in I was stuffed. I didn't clean my plate. And then, about ...

    Updated October 16th, 2018 at 02:26 PM by Kevin

  20. sex in the park

    by , October 13th, 2018 at 05:50 PM (Each n every day)
    on my way to the gym i have to walk through the park..an today i noticed a guy running full pelt and further away a woman was smacking her dog on the back end with her lead as it was mounted on a poodle..when the guy got there woman was very sorry but her dog looked to have enjoyed his brief encounter with a bit of whipping...both dogs were of the lead and there are signs everywhere saying dogs should be on a lead and now i know why...
  21. So, I just got out of prison.

    Life has an interesting way of taking the gas out of your balloon. Last year I spent 40 days in prison, 37 days in one and three days in another.

    This time around I only pulled 21 days; 18 in one and three in the other.

    It's funny, I got R.O.R. on my third day in the first one and the fuckers took 15 days to pick me up just to see a judge. Three days later, I got out on unsecured. I'm 150 miles away from home atm, and I have a bus scheduled for 7:30 AM tomorrow morning ...
  22. Something I always fancied doing...

    I've always, for as far back as I can remember, fancied walking around the coast of Great Britain. If, I often think, still had my health and strength when I retired, but the more I think about it the more daunting it I think it would be. I mean in GB? With our climate? Society in general? Just finding somewhere to sleep every night. Clean clothes etc. A logistical nightmare.

    Could make for one helluva diary though. I love that thought.
  23. Horror, Fiction, and Humanity

    The unsettling nature of a good horror movie is something that seems almost like the Holy Grail of movies- extremely rare and extremely rewarding. To date, I can't remember any movie that really ticked the horror box for me. The last one I could remember that was genuinely terrifying to me was "The Exorcist".

    But horror and fiction? Now that's a lovely pair.

    I like Stephen Kings work. I like the fact that he's not necessarily flamboyant with his horror. His horror ...
  24. So Many Voices

    Do you ever get the feeling like you aren't alone in your own head? Like no matter what you do to get away there is always someone or something else inside with you? I got diagnosed with Split Personality Disorder when I was 7 years old. They say it was because my best friend's mother abused me and I created another personality to deal with it but I don't really know what caused it. It's always been there, for as long as I can remember.

    He's been in the back of my mind controlling my ...
  25. Everyone Hates Chris

    It's not his fault. None of it.
    A lot of folks want to blame Christopher Columbus for every evil action and deed in the Americas since 1492. For you folks, grow up.

    First off, bad stuff happens. It just does. It happened in Europe, and it happened in the Americas before and after Chris and his gang landed.
    Were things better or worse after all the Europeans started expanding and exploiting? That's a mixed bag. But Columbus simply opened the door.

    And if ...

    Updated October 8th, 2018 at 08:48 PM by Winston

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