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  1. neighborhood...

    I squat down, awkward, not used to giving blow-jobs or cow milking. It’s a good thing I don’t have a belly. I still have to turn my head and mouth sideways. Best I can do, the desktop, the only flat surface stable enough to hold the heavy water jug, but still not high enough. I certainly can’t hold it and depress the squirt button.

    The water pours half into my mouth, half onto the floor.

    Only later do I realize I have a coffee cup, not thrown away, sitting on my desk. ...
  2. the drive, again (short)

    “Danny’s Crane Service”. I’ve seen that truck before. How is it that a big-ass truck like that can take all the turns with no issue, while people driving little-cars, road-huggers… comparatively, crawl around these same corners? ‘Lowest common denominator’ comes to mind…

    Case in point: yesterday, on the way home, a person stopped at a yellow light. This is a legally, fifty-mile-an-hour road, four lanes… The guy behind almost plowed into her. I call that bad driving. Maybe she doesn’t ...
  3. Nobody should have their illusions shattered

    The title of this item is of course a quotation from the first chapter of my novel. Well, that's the usual signature feature of my writing out of the way.

    Such sentiments expressed in my writing are unsurprisingly often my own, so I wonder just how warily I should tread within these forums, being an elderly self-opinionated fellow but a novice writer. I read the many threads here about the rites of passage towards better writing, whether on specific subjects or the ordeal in general, ...
  4. Skin like porcelain

    I was in the toilet last night.

    I am now thoroughly familiar with the

    fact that I am not a plumber.

    Seven trips to the store—store’ers—three of them, and my…
    our new toilet works.

    I am not excited. No, she, it, 'Betsy' I’m going to call it, ruined that for me. Any Betsy that takes that much effort for me isn’t worth it. They’ll be no second date. Her deflowering, our first time together(our deflowering?), will go unnoticed; no ahh, ...
  5. No sleep 'til Brooklyn!

    ...I just figured I'd include the Beastie Boys in that title.

    I have been sleeping much less. Short naps during the day, then I'm up.

    I laid down for two hours and found absolute restlessness. Now it's 5:00 AM.

    When I was still getting eight solid hours, I felt tired, weak. My muscles were shaky and I couldn't focus, I had headaches and only wanted to sleep.

    Now, I'm wide awake and rather concentrated. I feel sharp. Focused. Truly awake. ...
  6. Witless people on web forums (not here!)

    Sorry, I have to double post to vent.

    On another forum, the Orthodox Christian board, there is this post about a Protestant pastor saying women should not wax their..well you know. So it turned into more humor than serious theological discussion. I made my jokes, they got laughs until I used one saying "Hairy Potter." Funny enough. Then I say I wonder if Hermione waxed. Then I say that there was likely a spell for that sort of thing.

    Well, the troll, snide member, ...
  7. My bad luck

    So some of you may remember I had a virus and could not post here do to it. I finally just chose to reinstall Windows. Well, two weeks later my hard drive crashes. I call HP, they price it at $300. I say I might as well buy a new computer, they lower it to $180. Supposedly I am not supposed to say that, as the agent managed to get me a really good deal, though that could have been a sales tactic to keep me with HP for future purposes. But I will honor her by her request not to mention it to the ...
  8. Thank God for seziures...

    So, there is the saying that that bad brings something good out of it. So, my seizures are acting up again, a little worse than usual, though still no convulsive ones. Actually how ever, though they have calmed down for now (the were worse a while ago), I keep having small difficult to write this, confused--I know what I want to say, but cannot think put what I cant to say and putting it there together.

    But the episodes will go away soon enough, and the it is good, because then ...
  9. Adventures in Publishing Poetry

    I want to start a blog about my experience sending my work out for publication, getting published, getting rejected, etc. The last year and a half has been a fun ride. Tears. Curse words. Finally, joy. There is nothing like the high of seeing your hard work in print. At least not to me. When I get a copy of a journal I was in, it's a rush. Now, I'm almost done with my first book of poetry, and I feel like I'm finally ready for it.

    I want to write about my experiences at length, and ...

    Updated July 9th, 2015 at 09:50 PM by Angel101

  10. I am sick

    No doctor here until Monday afternoon and I keep falling but I am not sure why. Yes I know I managed to pick up scabies from the hospital which itches but why do I keep falling? Something has happened to my balance and I am frightened. And my neighbour is not here so I am totally alone.
  11. Nightmares of a Tortured Poet

    Napalm Memories


    aces over eights
    a slow walk in the jungle
    tears fire and rain

    (collection of images and poetic muttering from the Munidaen worlds)
  12. barricades

    They put temporary ‘gates’ across the alley. It’s nothing official, just some agreement between the neighbors to help keep out the unwanted. I don’t know, maybe the homeless that live in vehicles used to drive in. Whatever, I respect the gates, which are those folding barricade thingies that the city uses, white and orange striped with various agency names printed on them; the next step up from traffic cones, they also have two matching plastic ‘boards’ ten or twelve feet long that are notched at ...
  13. Sleep, fear, and horror.

    Two cans of NOS later and I'm covering the night shift. Didn't even take a nap.

    Even when I close my eyes, my vision doesn't stop.

    Electronic overstimulation coupled with an active imagination ensures that my eyes are never adjusted to the dark.

    I see flashes. My eyes move and I can hardly stop them. I make out shapes from them. People. Monsters.

    Young girls with broken forms. Tall, misshapen men. Faces deformed with nothing but eyes. Unborn ...
  14. Difficulty Curving a Bad Habit.

    I started cursing a the age of nine. Yes I know, I was too young and I should be ashamed. In retrospect, I should've been. Like most children I wanted to show that I knew things when I did not. You know, like most adults do - old habits die hard, eh? I only used that kind of language around friends and school never around my parents. They were very fond of spanking as a means of child rearing. Ah good times, good times.

    At first it was just a means of rebelling against the good girl ...
  15. Training

    It's funny, ever since I decided to rebuild my site and start legitimately working on building up a stock of short stories, I figured I'd lose interest as I have so many times. It's still too early to tell if I will again or if life will get in the way but one key difference for me now versus the past is that my mentality is very different. This isn't something I 'have to do' to keep sane. It's what I want to do to make myself happy. Amid the sex, gore, piss and mud of my stories there are points ...
  16. Tikva now has a harness

    It it is bright pink and black and is very small. But then Tikva is very small. She did have a scratch and roll about and the decided she would accept it. Whatever accept it is. But it reall does look pretty on her.

    This is a very strange puppy. She is convinced that I am her momma- she eats raw food except she is too young for raw?

    Go tell her that.

    Yeah, I think I will keep her.
  17. So I have an itch

    And a rash. Which started just as a minor rash from just below my right collar bone down my right boobie - and my GP gave me some cream which sorted it out.

    But it spread. And it itched. And kept me from sleeping as I would scratch in my sleep and oh sh!t it drove me mad.

    Gave up and went to see my GP yesterday as my upper arms, shoulders, backs of situpons and various other odds and sods of places which you do not want to know about - and she said Scabies. Now how ...
  18. Mental development. (Long)

    I had never in my life though of myself as one who might frequently make use of a blog of any kind. Hm.

    But I also enjoy a good monologue.

    As I have no shame in admitting, there was a time in my life where I truly considered if I should even be alive. To the detriment of such thoughts, I ended up reasoning that, all problems aside, I am still better off living.

    But, to elaborate on and sort out such past feelings, I'll write them.

    I've stated ...
  19. Who am I?

    And what am I? Do you know? Do you care?

    I am not a writer, I am not a poet, I just scribble things as they come into my mind. because they are in my mind and I want to "get them out" as it were.

    It does not worry me if my grammar is incorrect - yes my mother tongue is English as I was born, brought up and taught in England/English, even though some people still think that English is my second language. It is not. My second language is something far different ...
  20. Le family

    I get to leave in thirty minutes... aaahhhg.

    Why am I conscious!?


    I tend to give advice on relationships more than speak about my own. Why not share, methinks, a little about my family?

    My father is interesting. He did math competitions as a teenager. Doing problems as fast as you can. I think it automatized his brain. He's very smart. Of course, he's a problem solver. He doesn't like emotion or other human beings in general.
  21. 25. (language)


    Got myself up early enough. Up in the canyon some white work-truck with toolboxes for a bed is putt-putting along. Turns out it's a “County Fire Department” vehicle. * Sigh * So I buckle down for a long, slow slog.

    Upon mental boredom and a lack of stimulation my mind drifts to last night’s television and of one of my favorite childhood/pre-pubescent fantasy/documentary flicks, One Million Years B.C. which of course features the outrageous and outstand Rrraquel ...
  22. Those Odd Little things in life

    As I've said way too much, I'm an occultist at heart. The mysterious, dark and things that are likely best left alone are my favorite things in life. But, that means spending time re-examining what I do know for new outlooks. As I've said before, the Goddess I worship encourages one to try and learn something new all the time. Today, I took to the time to double check my horoscopes since my Birthday falls in that niggling little part of the Chinese new year where it's not quite set. Most places ...
    Tags: rambling
  23. The Many Faces Of Emotion, Or The Rolling Boulders Of Sisyphus! Progress is illusory.

    appiness, anger, joy and woe; these emotions eventually form the creases which, like stressed leather, will mark our faces. The Laughter lines and frowny wrinkles are the story lines that reveal themselves with age... Our faces literally become wrinkles in time. I’m just glad there's no such thing as Constant Confusion Crinkles, cause I’d have oodles too plenty… maybe they exist, or maybe my face will ...
  24. The Wailings of a Broken Down Poet

    The Ninth Circle (the Beast)

    hell’s bane God’s flame
    brimstone ashes and dust
    burnt corpses dead grins and tainted

    dragons breath; death
    sickly winds frozen sin
    the mighty beast lies trapped within
    The Ice

    But It lives and…

    It Sings
    of ghastly things
    to the beat of its horrid wings

  25. ...And he continued, to the horror of the crowd.

    While I'm waiting on this insanely slow work printer...

    I haven't talked about work much, aside from the occasional whining.

    But I really shouldn't complain. Work is one of the constants in my life. What I mean by that is, one of the things that is predictable. I can assume and predict what most problems will be.(aside from emergencies of course.)

    I come in, and do the same things. Every night. I know what's expected of me, and I'm trusted to be alone here ...
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