ebmadman
May 7th, 2006, 01:46 AM
The Date
EXT. OUTSIDE OF PARTY HOUSE—-NIGHT
DARREN and JASON exit a cab, directly in front of a home bustling with activity, lights flashing and music blaring as the party is fully underway. DARREN and JASON begin walking towards the house.
DARREN
Man, I don’t know how I let you drag me
into this.
JASON
Come on Darren, this party is gonna be
off the CHAIN! The chick who’s throwin
it, I heard she invited all her friends
from some sex club she’s in, you know
what that means?
DARREN
I’m afraid to ask.
JASON
FREE ASS!!!
DARREN
Oookaay… but I’m not looking for free
ass. I just want to find a nice woman who
I can actually have a conversation with.
Is that too much to ask?
JASON
Look man, I know you been burned and
shit. And I know the last few dates
you’ve been on were pretty fucked up…
DARRENS eyes roll to the back of his head and he starts to turn around, but JASON grabs him, placing both hands on his shoulders. (beat)
JASON
Don’t worry about that tonight. We’re
here, there’s a party, just enjoy
yourself man. What’s the worst that could
happen?
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
INT. PARTY HOUSE—-NIGHT
DARRENS eyes move back and forth nervously. He is wary of the people seated around him, nearly out of control drunk, same as most of the people at the whole damn party, all of them dancing to the song “ALLIGATOR WOMAN” by Cameo. Knew he shouldn’t have trusted JASON.
DARREN tries to get off the couch, but a steady stream of people recklessly dancing in front of him make it impossible.
JASON is one of the drunkest of all. He has a necktie tied around his head. JASON dances wildly, stumbling towards the couch.
JASON
Dude, you gonna ass kiss the couch all
night or what? Come on man, look at all
these women!!WHOOOAHHH! PARTY TIME!
JASON stumbles, about to walk away before DARREN (still seated) grabs him by the arm.
DARREN
Jason! Jason! Look, this isn’t me man, I
think it’s time for me to go.
JASON
Come on man! We just got here!
DARREN
Jason, we’ve been here for two hours!
JASON stares at DARREN with a puzzled look, tugging on the tie(beat).
JASON
Really…then I know your ass must hurt
cause that couch don’t look too
comfortable!WHOOOAH!PARTYY!!
DARREN slides back into the couch, an embarrassed and weary look on his face. Out of the corner of his eye he sees a girl seated on the couch who wasn’t there before. She shyly looks at him, slightly smiling.
GIRL
Your uh…your friend , he’s really
enjoying himself?
DARREN
Uh yeah, he… he loves his liquor
GIRL
I noticed you don’t have a cup…
DARREN
Naw, not me. I don’t drink. Well, I do,
but uh…I think everybody here’s drunk
enough for me…
DARREN is distracted as he turns his head and looks at JASON, dancing wildly with some female. JASON looks over at DARREN, who upon seeing him sitting and talking with a woman begins smiling widely, nodding his head up and down and poking his finger through an imaginary hole.
DARREN, a startled look on his face, quickly turns around, only to be startled again, as he joins GIRL in forming a wide-eyed, open mouthed, stunned expression. They are both staring at a hefty guy dancing in front of the couch beginning to remove his clothing. They both look at each other and just so happen to say the same thing.
DARREN/GIRL
You want to get out of here?
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
INT. CAR—NIGHT
GIRL drives along, DARREN seated next to her. They are both smiling, while having a casual conversation.
DARREN
I’m sorry, I…I didn’t even get your name?
GIRL
JASMINE. And you are…
DARREN
Darren.
JASMINE
Darren,(beat)… that’s nice. It’s okay, I
mean it was pretty chaotic back there.
DARREN
Yeah.
JASMINE
I don’t even know why I came. I knew I
shouldn’t have let Lizzy talk me into it.
DARREN
Hey, you never know? It’s not that late,
the night’s still young. Something good
can still come of it. I mean, we met.
JASMINE
That’s true. You do seem pretty
different.(smiling)
DARREN begins to smile(beat). Suddenly, DARREN begins sniffing, looking a little worried.
JASMINE
You’re right. The night is still young,
if you don’t want me to take you straight
home, I know this twenty-four hour diner
that’s got the best cheese-steak.
DARREN is still sniffing. He is smiling but beginning to look uncomfortable.
DARREN
Hey that…that’s great. If you’re up for
it, I’d love it. So how umm (looking
around)… how do you know Lizzy?
JASMINE
We’re both members of this therapy group.
But I’m thinking about leaving it. I
don’t know, it just seems like a big
waste of time.
DARREN
Oh really? (beat)
DARREN pleasantly smiles, as JASONS sex group remark replays itself in his head.
DARREN
Why are you thinking about leaving?
JASMINE
Oh y’know, typical Freudian psycho babble
bullshit. To me, it seems like most
shrinks just like to hear themselves
talk. It’s like they try and make your
problems seem like they’re worse than
they are.
DARREN
So true, so true. I mean, I’ve only known
you for a short time, but you don’t seem
like you need help to me.
JASMINE
(Huge smile comes across her face) Thank
you! That’s so sweet. I knew you were
different. I could just tell.
Suddenly a somewhat slightly offended look forms across DARRENS face, as he begins sniffing and looking around, all the while still trying to maintain the spirit of the conversation, even laughing slightly.
DARREN
Did you uh…run over a dead dog or
something?
JASMINE
Sorry (smiling). My bad. Whenever I get…
happy…I get like…uncontrollable
flatulence. But it’s not that bad. I’ve
dealt with it since growing up. My mom
taught me that I shouldn’t be ashamed of
a natural body function, and everybody
does it. I just do it in spades. (begins
laughing) OOOP! ‘Scuse me.
DARREN sits silently, a look of horror on his face. Suddenly, JASMINES cell phone rings.
JASMINE
Who could this…oh, it’s Lizzy. What’s up? Girl,
I’m sorry but it was time for me to go! I
did not want to catch the flabby patty
peep show! (beat) He did what?(breaks
into laughter)
DARREN has a very uncomfortable smile on his face as he tries to discreetly place his hand over his mouth and cover his nose.
JASMINE
You lying? In the punch bowl! Oh my God! (laughter)
DARREN begins gagging a little. He tries to hold it back discreetly, still holding one hand over his mouth, using the other to try and franticly wave his hand in front of his nose, his head is turned towards the window.
JASMINE
Are you serious? Oh my God, we should
have stayed! (laughing hysterically)
DARREN begins wiping his eyes, which are watering.
JASMINE
I KNOW, I know. But it just wasn’t my
scene. And I met this guy DARREN who
needed a ride home. (JASMINE looks at
DARREN, who hurriedly turns in her
direction, forcing a smile upon his
face.)
JASMINE
Okay. See you tomorrow. (ends phone-call,
looks over at DARREN) Are you okay?
DARREN
Yeah…yeah I’m fine. Well, actually I’m…
I’m a little tired, and uhm… I got work
tomorrow too.You mind if I call it a
night?
JASMINE
Oh, okay. That’s fine. Actually, I gotta
get up pretty early tomorrow too. So umm…
you mind if I get your number? Or better
yet, let me give you mine, cause I always
have a pretty funky schedule, y’know?
DARREN
Oh I believe you! I mean, that’s fine…
DARREN turns back around, mumbling (thank you god *3, while JASMINE fumbles through her purse)
JASMINE (O.S)
Hope you don’t mind if I smoke?
DARREN slowly turns around and his eyes begin to widen as he sees JASMINE holding a lighter in her hand.
DARREN
(Moving in slow motion) NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
(reaching to try and grab the lighter.
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
INT. JASONS APARTMENT—NIGHT
JASON
I’m coming, I’m coming. ( JASON walks
to answer door, holding his head from
hangover)
EXT. OUTSIDE JASONS APARTMENT DOOR—NIGHT
(Door opens)
DARREN punches JASON in the face, turns around and slowly walks down hallway, smoke coming from his person. JASON is lying on floor, holding his nose.
JASON
Dude…what was that for…? (begins
sniffing) What the hell is that
smell!?
FADE OUT:
The End
EXT. OUTSIDE OF PARTY HOUSE—-NIGHT
DARREN and JASON exit a cab, directly in front of a home bustling with activity, lights flashing and music blaring as the party is fully underway. DARREN and JASON begin walking towards the house.
DARREN
Man, I don’t know how I let you drag me
into this.
JASON
Come on Darren, this party is gonna be
off the CHAIN! The chick who’s throwin
it, I heard she invited all her friends
from some sex club she’s in, you know
what that means?
DARREN
I’m afraid to ask.
JASON
FREE ASS!!!
DARREN
Oookaay… but I’m not looking for free
ass. I just want to find a nice woman who
I can actually have a conversation with.
Is that too much to ask?
JASON
Look man, I know you been burned and
shit. And I know the last few dates
you’ve been on were pretty fucked up…
DARRENS eyes roll to the back of his head and he starts to turn around, but JASON grabs him, placing both hands on his shoulders. (beat)
JASON
Don’t worry about that tonight. We’re
here, there’s a party, just enjoy
yourself man. What’s the worst that could
happen?
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
INT. PARTY HOUSE—-NIGHT
DARRENS eyes move back and forth nervously. He is wary of the people seated around him, nearly out of control drunk, same as most of the people at the whole damn party, all of them dancing to the song “ALLIGATOR WOMAN” by Cameo. Knew he shouldn’t have trusted JASON.
DARREN tries to get off the couch, but a steady stream of people recklessly dancing in front of him make it impossible.
JASON is one of the drunkest of all. He has a necktie tied around his head. JASON dances wildly, stumbling towards the couch.
JASON
Dude, you gonna ass kiss the couch all
night or what? Come on man, look at all
these women!!WHOOOAHHH! PARTY TIME!
JASON stumbles, about to walk away before DARREN (still seated) grabs him by the arm.
DARREN
Jason! Jason! Look, this isn’t me man, I
think it’s time for me to go.
JASON
Come on man! We just got here!
DARREN
Jason, we’ve been here for two hours!
JASON stares at DARREN with a puzzled look, tugging on the tie(beat).
JASON
Really…then I know your ass must hurt
cause that couch don’t look too
comfortable!WHOOOAH!PARTYY!!
DARREN slides back into the couch, an embarrassed and weary look on his face. Out of the corner of his eye he sees a girl seated on the couch who wasn’t there before. She shyly looks at him, slightly smiling.
GIRL
Your uh…your friend , he’s really
enjoying himself?
DARREN
Uh yeah, he… he loves his liquor
GIRL
I noticed you don’t have a cup…
DARREN
Naw, not me. I don’t drink. Well, I do,
but uh…I think everybody here’s drunk
enough for me…
DARREN is distracted as he turns his head and looks at JASON, dancing wildly with some female. JASON looks over at DARREN, who upon seeing him sitting and talking with a woman begins smiling widely, nodding his head up and down and poking his finger through an imaginary hole.
DARREN, a startled look on his face, quickly turns around, only to be startled again, as he joins GIRL in forming a wide-eyed, open mouthed, stunned expression. They are both staring at a hefty guy dancing in front of the couch beginning to remove his clothing. They both look at each other and just so happen to say the same thing.
DARREN/GIRL
You want to get out of here?
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
INT. CAR—NIGHT
GIRL drives along, DARREN seated next to her. They are both smiling, while having a casual conversation.
DARREN
I’m sorry, I…I didn’t even get your name?
GIRL
JASMINE. And you are…
DARREN
Darren.
JASMINE
Darren,(beat)… that’s nice. It’s okay, I
mean it was pretty chaotic back there.
DARREN
Yeah.
JASMINE
I don’t even know why I came. I knew I
shouldn’t have let Lizzy talk me into it.
DARREN
Hey, you never know? It’s not that late,
the night’s still young. Something good
can still come of it. I mean, we met.
JASMINE
That’s true. You do seem pretty
different.(smiling)
DARREN begins to smile(beat). Suddenly, DARREN begins sniffing, looking a little worried.
JASMINE
You’re right. The night is still young,
if you don’t want me to take you straight
home, I know this twenty-four hour diner
that’s got the best cheese-steak.
DARREN is still sniffing. He is smiling but beginning to look uncomfortable.
DARREN
Hey that…that’s great. If you’re up for
it, I’d love it. So how umm (looking
around)… how do you know Lizzy?
JASMINE
We’re both members of this therapy group.
But I’m thinking about leaving it. I
don’t know, it just seems like a big
waste of time.
DARREN
Oh really? (beat)
DARREN pleasantly smiles, as JASONS sex group remark replays itself in his head.
DARREN
Why are you thinking about leaving?
JASMINE
Oh y’know, typical Freudian psycho babble
bullshit. To me, it seems like most
shrinks just like to hear themselves
talk. It’s like they try and make your
problems seem like they’re worse than
they are.
DARREN
So true, so true. I mean, I’ve only known
you for a short time, but you don’t seem
like you need help to me.
JASMINE
(Huge smile comes across her face) Thank
you! That’s so sweet. I knew you were
different. I could just tell.
Suddenly a somewhat slightly offended look forms across DARRENS face, as he begins sniffing and looking around, all the while still trying to maintain the spirit of the conversation, even laughing slightly.
DARREN
Did you uh…run over a dead dog or
something?
JASMINE
Sorry (smiling). My bad. Whenever I get…
happy…I get like…uncontrollable
flatulence. But it’s not that bad. I’ve
dealt with it since growing up. My mom
taught me that I shouldn’t be ashamed of
a natural body function, and everybody
does it. I just do it in spades. (begins
laughing) OOOP! ‘Scuse me.
DARREN sits silently, a look of horror on his face. Suddenly, JASMINES cell phone rings.
JASMINE
Who could this…oh, it’s Lizzy. What’s up? Girl,
I’m sorry but it was time for me to go! I
did not want to catch the flabby patty
peep show! (beat) He did what?(breaks
into laughter)
DARREN has a very uncomfortable smile on his face as he tries to discreetly place his hand over his mouth and cover his nose.
JASMINE
You lying? In the punch bowl! Oh my God! (laughter)
DARREN begins gagging a little. He tries to hold it back discreetly, still holding one hand over his mouth, using the other to try and franticly wave his hand in front of his nose, his head is turned towards the window.
JASMINE
Are you serious? Oh my God, we should
have stayed! (laughing hysterically)
DARREN begins wiping his eyes, which are watering.
JASMINE
I KNOW, I know. But it just wasn’t my
scene. And I met this guy DARREN who
needed a ride home. (JASMINE looks at
DARREN, who hurriedly turns in her
direction, forcing a smile upon his
face.)
JASMINE
Okay. See you tomorrow. (ends phone-call,
looks over at DARREN) Are you okay?
DARREN
Yeah…yeah I’m fine. Well, actually I’m…
I’m a little tired, and uhm… I got work
tomorrow too.You mind if I call it a
night?
JASMINE
Oh, okay. That’s fine. Actually, I gotta
get up pretty early tomorrow too. So umm…
you mind if I get your number? Or better
yet, let me give you mine, cause I always
have a pretty funky schedule, y’know?
DARREN
Oh I believe you! I mean, that’s fine…
DARREN turns back around, mumbling (thank you god *3, while JASMINE fumbles through her purse)
JASMINE (O.S)
Hope you don’t mind if I smoke?
DARREN slowly turns around and his eyes begin to widen as he sees JASMINE holding a lighter in her hand.
DARREN
(Moving in slow motion) NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
(reaching to try and grab the lighter.
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
INT. JASONS APARTMENT—NIGHT
JASON
I’m coming, I’m coming. ( JASON walks
to answer door, holding his head from
hangover)
EXT. OUTSIDE JASONS APARTMENT DOOR—NIGHT
(Door opens)
DARREN punches JASON in the face, turns around and slowly walks down hallway, smoke coming from his person. JASON is lying on floor, holding his nose.
JASON
Dude…what was that for…? (begins
sniffing) What the hell is that
smell!?
FADE OUT:
The End