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francis
March 10th, 2006, 12:46 AM
hello.
i'm a student in video and i have to produce a short film. at the moment i'm looking for a good short story, but that's not so easy for me (because i'm not a writer). that's why i'm looking for help in this forum.

i have a basis for my story, but at the end i'd like to include a cool twist in the plot (but i haven't found this twist yet).

the story is about an artist (fine arts), who has a meeting regarding an exhibition. he's pretty nervous before this meeting, that's why he buys cigarettes at a vender with his last coins. he's running late for his appointment with a lady from a famous gallery. they watch his drawings and photos together, the talk is quite disappointing for the artist, he doesn't expect anymore that he can really exhibit his stuff in the gallery.

after the meeting he wants to drive home. after a while his car runs out of fuel, somewhere in the middle of nowhere, nobody can help him. he trys to call somebody with his mobile phone, the battery isn't charged. he begins to walk and trys to find help, maybe at aafte petrol station. after a while it begins to rain, his feet become wet, because he has forgotten to bring his shoes to a shoemaker to let them repair. it's becoming night, after a little while again he comes to a petrol station where he finds a public phone box. he wants to call somebody but he has no coins left because he needed the last coins for buying the cigarettes that he has just smoked. he walks to the shop of the petrol station, but the shop is closed...

at this point i have no idea how to find a good ending, maybe a twist in the plot to an unexpected finish of the short story.


is there maybe somebody that can help me, please? do you have any ideas for a good ending?
i'm looking forward to your help. Please!

thank you very much in advance,
francis

mammamaia
March 10th, 2006, 01:06 AM
so, you want to present a montage of bad luck for this poor schlub, and you seem to have written yourself into a corner... now you want a deus ex machina finale to get you out of the box you put yourself in?

what if he has one cigarette left and in lighting it at the deserted gas station, accidentally blows it and himself to kingdom come?... the final scene can be at a successful showing of the tragically-departed young artist's work, the cigarettes having both opened and closed his life's final run of bad luck... would be a good message to get smokers to stop smoking, besides! ;-)

hellodolly
March 10th, 2006, 11:25 PM
so, you want to present a montage of bad luck for this poor schlub, and you seem to have written yourself into a corner... now you want a deus ex machina finale to get you out of the box you put yourself in?

what if he has one cigarette left and in lighting it at the deserted gas station, accidentally blows it and himself to kingdom come?... the final scene can be at a successful showing of the tragically-departed young artist's work, the cigarettes having both opened and closed his life's final run of bad luck... would be a good message to get smokers to stop smoking, besides! ;-)

Maia, I'm shocked! :shock:

What do you want to happen? How do you want it to end? He's been rejected and it seems as though he hasn't a friend in the world and no money. Now he could just simply do away with himself, purposely or accidently as Maia has suggested. Or he could walk back to his car, get his artwork and believing it to be worthless, trades it for gas and another pack of cigarettes. Then when he gets home, there's a message on his answering machine that they've had a cancellation of another artist at the last minute and would he consider doing the show.

aliceedelweiss
March 10th, 2006, 11:28 PM
I like the irony of hellodolly's suggestion. I figured I'd put in my comment even if its not all that important.
Alice

magic_harp
April 20th, 2006, 12:06 PM
I reckon it would be artsy and cool if maybe the last shot after he realised the petrol station aint open is exactly the same as one of his photos or paintings. this would make it seem like his life is a big circle, and not a very lucky one. just an idea ?