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RKWO
February 3rd, 2006, 09:31 PM
Well this is the beginning to what I have planned to take time to work on for a little while. I really don't know where to start when it comes to writing TV pilots with the exception I know a good plot, storyline, and an array of great characters is the first concept to nail down. Well here's what I have so far, tear it to shreds, bring up new ideas, etc. This is def a rough draft, and it lacks the comedy because I really have no script written, just one in mind, but I think that for starters this isn't bad.

HERE YA GO:

Olympia


Connor Carlisle is a quick-witted, well-educated college student whom finds himself beginning a new life after being expelled from Duke University. He finally has an opportunity to enroll into college again after his new Stepmother encourages her son, Fletcher Duquesne, a young, new professor to get Connor reinstated at the same college he instructs at, the fictional, Olympia University. Set in Avondale, a mid-sized, upper-class college-town outside of Chicago, the two-faced Fletcher discusses how he has no interest in becoming involved in Connor’s life leaving Connor on his own. Soon enough Connor moves into a dorm with new roommates; Austin Keller, who finds himself returning home after losing an athletic scholarship at an out of state school, and William Oxley, an eccentric sophomore who enrolls to Olympia on fencing and engineering scholarships. To Connor’s surprise, Austin has lived the life in one of the most prestigious families of Avondale lead by Austin’s Father, Jack Keller. Jack, a former-NFL Quarterback turned County Sheriff is married to the beautiful Ellie, who lives in the midst of a family feud being the sister of Ethan Blythe, a shady but well-liked local Congressman whose family does not bode well with the rest of the Kellers. New to campus, Connor and Austin bond quickly with Oxley as he shows the two the ropes of the college community, as Austin does vice versa about social life in college and in Avondale, leaving Connor with high hopes for a new slate at Olympia. Eventually, Connor develops a crush on Austin’s sister, Avery, who is forced to live in the same dorm after a scandalous arson to her sorority house. While Avery is obvious to the crush that Connor has on her, it is not to her knowledge that her new roommate, Bethany MacCarthy has a likening to Connor, until Bethany randomly meets the sketchy Fletcher Duquesne. And so endures the drama and new lives for Connor, Fletcher, the Kellers, and everyone else in the beautiful, turbulent, picturesque college campus of Olympia University and the town of Avondale.


MAIN CHARACTERS\BEGINNING SUMMARY

Connor Carlisle


To begin, Connor was expelled from Duke University for a combination of underage consumption and later for creating an mp3 moneymaking website. However, after his father remarries, his Stepmother convinces her son, Fletcher Duquesne, a strict but morally corrupt professor to get Connor reinstated to the same college he instructs at, Olympia University. After a year full of strenuous work at Duke, OU’s academics leave Connor with a lot more time to catch up and socialize. Between an on-going rivalry with his stepbrother, falling for his roommate’s sister, and fighting off a bad reputation, Connor has his work cut out for him in Avondale.

Fletcher Duquesne


Beginning his first year as a professor at age 25, Duquesne leads a conflicting life between wanting to live as a student, yet having the responsibilities of an adult. Looked upon as the role model from his new family to take care of his “troublemaker” younger stepbrother Connor, Fletcher finds himself to have the most problems. Many of these problems stem from the fact that Fletcher wants to make up for all the time he believes he wasted in college strictly on academics rather than learning to live socially as well. With the many conflicting roles that Fletcher has endured, the pressure leads a once quiet student into a life of unethical morality, drugs, and corruption.

Austin Keller


Austin is the roommate and best friend of Connor. Austin is new to Olympia University after losing his football scholarship at a small school in Ohio. Quitting the team, he feels even more of a disappointment to his father, Jackson Keller, who constantly is trying to run Austin’s life. He thought the answer to his problem would be returning home to Avondale, where he had many friends prior to leaving for boarding school before high school. Returning to go to college in Avondale, he soon he realizes that people have moved on in their lives and that he needs to as well. However, he still comes equipped with his arrogant and obnoxious behavior but becomes toned down after meeting new friends such as Connor and Oxley. To his surprise he finds himself also becoming good friends with a former high school archrival, his sister Avery.



Avery Keller


Sister of Austin Keller, Daughter of Jackson Keller, love interest of Connor Carlisle, and roommate of Bethany MacCarthy, Avery is actually in her second year of school but was forced to live in a dorm after her sorority house had went up in flames over the summer. Avery is very intelligent, beautiful, level-headed, and down to earth, yet she is very aggressive and constantly finds herself engaging in arguments and fights with everybody. Along with her family she is still very involved in Avondale, but unlike her mother, wants to live a life not based on her family name.

Jackson Keller


Jackson Keller is a beloved former-NFL Quarterback and the County Sheriff of Avondale. Jack is one of the most popular people in town after living his entire life in Avondale following his retirement from the NFL. While many would assume Jack has the perfect life, the combination of a midlife crisis, coming to realize his kids are grown up, and a rough relationship with his wife promotes havoc in Jack’s life. Examples of his problems can be found with his ongoing wars with wife’s side of the family, his hatred of politics (especially Republicans), and his continued fear of not having any money although his family well-off, leading Jack into many interesting situations and fiascos.

Eleanor Keller (Blythe)


Ellie Keller has grown up in Avondale her entire life including a five-year, ungraduated stint at Olympia University. Her life revolves around being the wife of Jack Keller and the sister of local Congressman Ethan Blythe, a flashy Republican who isn’t far from being the complete opposite of her husband. With the exception of Ellie, the Blythe’s do not bode well with the Keller Family. Ellie still remains close with her family but finds a hard time managing her conflicting life to making both sides of her family happy, and finding new areas to contribute her time now that both of her children are in college.

Bethany MacCarthy


Bethany MacCarthy is the adopted daughter of a huge family from an upper-class suburb of Chicago, IL. She is employed at U-Fashion, a trendy clothing store on campus. Most importantly, she is the new roommate of eventual best friend, Avery Keller. . As time passes she soon becomes infatuated with an unavailable, Connor Carlisle, the new roommate of her roommate’s brother, Austin Keller. With Connor becoming unavailable she finds herself in the hands of Fletcher Duquesne, who helps her in a dangerous situation. While extremely friendly and well-liked, Bethany has many issues to overcome and possibly suffers from depression.


William Oxley IV “Oxley”


Originally from a very wealthy family in Seattle, Oxley is an eccentric, comedic, and soon, best friend to dorm neighbor’s Connor and Austin. Oxley is constantly on the fringe of losing his fencing scholarship due to his lack of effort and troublemaking behavior on the team. Not in the social scene his freshman year, he is still aware of the ropes of the community and still manages to find trouble in many of the activities he finds himself taking part in.





Ryleigh Sullivan

Ryleigh is the eventual third roommate in Bethany and Avery’s triple. From an affluent suburb in Chicago, Ryleigh is very conniving and a mastermind at getting what she wants. She brings as a threat and enemy to sorority sister Avery, however, after coming to realization that the three are stuck together, the three do their best to get along. Nevertheless, being the default girl who always needs attention, Ryleigh causes more drama then needed and eventually finds herself also involved with the dangerous Fletcher Duquesne causing the first signs of anger from Bethany McCarthy.

Ethan Blythe


Brother of Ellie Keller, Congressman for district including Avondale\OU. More or less the archrival of Jack Keller, but still well liked by many in Avondale. Jack Keller is always in suspicion of Ethan’s power as being a politician and believes that Ethan is not handling a lot of the issues and money of the community in the right direction. Time will tell if Jack’s suspicions are true and eventually lead Jack into going against Ethan for an interesting political battle for State Congressmen.




Pilot Summary-


- Connor and Fletcher are spending first real time together taking a two-hour trip to OU. Conner, driving Fletcher’s BMW because Fletcher wanted to look like the “nice guy”, starts gunning the car after a brief argument leading to a pull over by the police near Avondale, which happens to be Jack Keller. Fletcher starts completely flipping out due to quick glimpse to the viewer that Fletcher has brought a decent sized amount of narcotics with him to Avondale. While Keller lets them go with just a speeding ticket because of a to be named fire, Fletcher scorns Connor and tells him that while they are down at OU to not even be on speaking terms.

- After being awaken up by his father’s police sirens as an alarm, Austin wakes up to get ready for move-in to Olympia. Austin walks downstairs to find his sister and mother in dismay because of a fire that has completely burned down Avery’s sorority house. The fire also took the lives of five students staying in the house over the summer. The fire will later be discovered as arson and completely set-up to ensure that all the girls in the building would perish with the flames. Austin is told by his father to watch out for his roommate because Jack researched and found out that Connor was expelled from Duke. Avery is not only saddened by the loss, but is even more unhappy to realize that she has to stay in the dorm room she has been living in over the summer with a girl she has yet to really get to know, Bethany McCarthy.

- After Fletcher drops off Connor into his new dorm, Connor finds himself moving into a new building, a new home, that seems all too familiar to Connor. After a few minutes Connor smells something burning and realizes it is coming from the room next door. This is when Connor meets the eccentric William Oxley IV.

- Austin is lectured on the way to his new dorm by Jack about how he should try to walk-on to the Olympia football team and discusses how amazing his other son is doing on the local high school football team. In complete disgust, Austin soon realizes as he pulls up to the dorm, that this is the exact dorm his sister has been living in the entire summer, meaning that he would now be living with his sister. Austin has not lived with his sister for years since he was sent to a boarding school at a young age in the New England states.

- As Connor is moving in, walks in Austin with all of his belongings, being helped by his father, Jack. Before anything Jack notices Connor from earlier in the morning and yells at him. Then after a look to the right, Jack notices Oxley, casually drinking a beer, underage, and whom he refers to as the “Campus Idiot”, discussing a time when he attached swords to a vehicle and was driving at fast speeds across town. Being scared Oxley leaves and then Austin and Connor have a chance to meet each other.


EVEN IF YOU GUYS SKIMMED THROUGH OR IT OR ANYTHING, LOVE TO HEAR FEEDBACK

mammamaia
February 4th, 2006, 04:39 AM
first, i'm sorry to have to tell you that you have little-to-no chance of ever getting anyone in the industry to even read your idea, as virtually all new tv programming is generated in-house and unagented material is returned to senders unopened...

the only exceptions to the 'in-house' rule would be if you were already working for a network in some capacity other than as a writer, but had an agent with golden connections to higher-ups... or, if you were a writer in another medium, with solid credentials/sales/credits, and had an agent with [etc.]...

what you have here is way too wordy and over-frilled/fancified for me to slog through, in order to see if you even have a marketable concept, sad to say... you need to present your concept as a screenplay logline would be done... in 25 words or less that give the gist of the sitcom's basic set-up in a catchy way...

next, to sell a sitcom [or any kind of tv series], you need to have completed, professional-quality scripts for a pilot and several sample episodes outlining the rest of a season's-worth of plots... to do that, you'll need to learn how to write a script... and, judging from how you wrote what's above, you'll have to work hard at learning how to write 'lean and clean' since clarity and sparity are the requisites of writing scripts for either tv or film...

if you want help doing any/all of that, i'll be happy to give you a hand... just drop me a note by email, if you have any questions...

love and hugs, maia
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