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View Full Version : Identity Crisis Scene 1 - Rip It To Shreds



deep thinker
October 27th, 2005, 05:32 PM
Normaly, I write comedy, but lately I am begginning to discover that quit frankly, it's not very good. I find that there is something that tickles the ego about being able to make people laugh, but at the same time I want to write something that will move people and make them think. Now, I know ti has been used so many times it's not funny or dramatic anymore, but I like to incorporate fairy tales into my plot by taking characters and gicving them real problems and identites. I have had this story floating around in my mind for a long time and I have several different versions of it, this one being the latest. I know it starts off kind of confusing, but remember this is only the begginning stages of the script. I'm stilling thinking of where to take the thing. Please help me out by giving me your opinion on it, and please, to quote the title of a play I was in once, "Do Not Go Gentle." This is scene one. In a few days, possibly even tommorrow or the next day, I'll have scene two. And then so on and so forth.

ACT 1 SCENE 1
SCENE: AS THE AUDIENCE WALKS INTO THE THEATRE, THEY SEE THAT THE AISLES HAVE BEEN TRANSFORMED INTO PATHS, LIKE THOSE ALL THE CHARACTERS ALONG IN FAIRYTALES. THE MAIN SET ON THE STAGE IS COVERED BY THE CURTAIN AS THE FIRST SCENE TAKES PLACE ENTIRELY ON THESE TWO PATHS, THE AUDIENCE CAUGHT RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT. WHEN THE LIGHTS COME UP WE SEE AMBER, A YOUNG GIRL, VERY ARTSY LOOKING. SHE IS WEARING A RED CLOAK AND CARRYING A JOURNAL OUT IN FRONT OF HER IN WHICH SHE IS WRITING. A FEW SECONDS LATER, JACK EMERGES FROM OFF STAGE AND WALKS DOWN HIS PATH ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE IF THE AUDIENCE. AT FIRST THE TWO DON'T NOTICE EACH OTHER. IT'S NOT UNTIL AMBER BEGINS TO WRITE IN HER JOURNAL DOES JACK ACKKNOWLEDGE HER.

Amber - (as she writes it) She walks the untredden of untrodden ways
Minutes fade to hours
Hours into days
And wilst all around her too swiftly walk away
She continues to walk the paths
of the untrodden ways

(she sighs)

Jack - That was very good.

Amber - Huh? What? Who said that?

Jack - I did. Where are you?

Amber - On the path.

Jack - Where? I don't see you.

Amber - Well I'm here. About halfway down the path.

Jack - You can't be. That's where I am, and I don't see anybody.

Amber - No no. Not that path. This path.

Jack - What are you talking about? There's only one path and I'm the only one standing on it.

Amber - Oh no. Trust me. There's anotther path. I walk down it almost everyday. You probably just can't see it.

Jack - What do you mean I can't see it? There's nothing to see! There's nothing here! Now, I gave you a compliment. The least you can do is tell me where you are.

Amber - I just told you. I'm on the path.

Jack - I can't see any other path!

Amber - Can't? Or won't?

Jack - Huh?

Amber - Well I must admit you're doing pretty well. I have to give you some credit. Most people can't even hear me! You're the first one to actually notice me ever since I started walking this way.

Jack - I am so confused.

Amber - Yes. it is rather confusing, but then again what isn't these days? Life is confusing. Now, since you had enough common decency to hear me I'm hoping you have enough intellect to trust me when i tell you that there is another path in these woods right across the audience. You see that woman in the tacky yellow shirt? I'm right next to her, but now I'm one row farther down because her perfume was starting to give me a head ache.

Jack - All right then. If you're really here then tell me, what am I wearing?

Amber - Clothes.

Jack - Ha ha. Very funny. What kind of clothes?

Amber - Flashy expensive preppy clothes like all the other guys wear. that's why I find it so strange that yuo can hear me. Hm, maybe it's the clothes that's preventing you from seeing me. Take off yuor shirt.

Jack - I beg your pardon!

Amber - Hm, most prepps don't talk like that. In their language that means "what the hell?" or something like that.

Jack - This is too weird. I'm out of here.

Amber - Yep yep yep. Just run away like all the others. You know for a minute there I actually thought you were going to be different. Silly me.

Jack - What do you mean all the others?

Amber - Well I hate to break it to you, but that path your on wasn't built exclusivly for you. Other people use it as well, but none of them have ever heard me before.

Jack - Well have you said anything to them to let them know you're there?

Amber - Oh lot's of times...... to begin with, but after a while I figured why waste my time talking to idiots like them. Now you on the other hand, you are quiet a mystery to me. Sort of like a puzzel. Sure there may be some pieces missing, but after all, no one's perfect.

(pause as Jack stares mouth agape at Amber)

Am I intriguing to you Jack?

Jack - No. You're not...... how did you know my name was Jack?

Amber - Oh Jack, Jack Jack Jack...... I know these things.

Jack - So let me get this straight, on the other side of the audience there's another path that no one else can see...... but me?

Amber - Exactly! And no one else can see me. If you try hard enough, I bet you could.

Jack - Why me?

Amber - Because you're different Jack. You have the gift.

Jack - Of what?

Amber - Common sense. Now focus. Clear your mind. What do you see?

Jack - I see...... I see......

Amber - Yes yes? Come on!

Jack - I see...... a girl.

Amber - Yes!

Jack - No wait, a woman!

Amber - Oh, thank you. What's she wearing?

Jack - Red. She's wearing red.

Amber - Yes! What else?

Jack - She has something in her hand.

Amber - What is it? A basket?

Jack - No.

Amber - A journal?

Jack - No. A bar of chocolate.

Amber - What?

Jack - She's holding a bar of chocolate.

(this whole time he has been describing a woman in the audience; suddenly a voice is heard from the lobby of the theater)

Voice - Hey! No food in the auditorium!

(suddenly, a whole squadron of ushers ascend upon her; they grab her and haul her out of the auditorium; once they've gone, one of the ushers comes back, takes the chocolate bar, and runs off)

Jack - OOPS.

Amber - It's fine. You tried. You must still be in that transition phase...... which means you're not exactly a prep yet...... which means they haven't got you yet...... which means there's still hope for...... uh!

Jack - What? What is it? Is something wrong?

Amber - I don't know. It might be. No. Not yet. Oh dear. Listen, listen very carefully to what I'm about to tell you. it is of the upmost importance and you must never tell a soul!

Jack - What? What? What?

Amber - Don't let them take you.

Jack - What? Don't let who take me?

Amber - If you do, something terrible is going to happen. I know it. I can feel it in my bones. It's going to be difficult. They're going to stop at nothing to take you away and change you!

Jack - Change me? Into what?

Amber - The unthinkable!

(a growl is heard off stage)

Oh great. Here it comes again.

Jack - Here what comes? What is going on?

Amber - I'm sorry. I have to go. Just remember though, don't let them take you. Don't let them change you, because once they do, there's no turning back.

(a wolf emerges from off stage and howls)

Right on schedual.

(she clears her throat)

Aghh!

( she runs off, followed by the wolf; Jack stands there for a few seconds in complete and utter confusion; his watch goes off, starteling him)

Jack - Oh crap. I'm late for school.

(he runs off; Amber runs back on screaming still followed by the wolf; as she runs back stage, the lights go out)

saintoflight
January 19th, 2006, 10:27 AM
coool. totally unpridictable. their both rather cocky characters too which builds a litle tension i guess, a little carisma between the two. i'm enjoying this and would love to see where it goes.

Raging_Hopeful
January 23rd, 2006, 10:59 PM
I actually really liked this scene. It is thought provoking because it illustrates the ideas of the "different paths" that people can take. It was amusing and concise enough to keep me reading. It would be interesting to see where this develops. I love the idea of having the audience in the middle and the interaction between the characters and the audience is great! :-D

Suggestion: I personally don't like the word "prep." I think it detracts from the overall meaning and can be misconstrued in a variety of ways. For the purpose of this piece I think it would be better served with a different word. Just my two cents.

Great job and keep writing! :-D