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Scott Tuplin
September 2nd, 2005, 04:48 PM
Ok, this short piece is an excert from the opening a larger piece of work that is still being worked on. I have been meaning to post a scene of The Hunter for some time now, and have chosen this particular scene because, firstly, it is the opening and, secondly, to show the tension filled relationship between two of the main characters, James McCaffrey and his psychiatrist. Their relationship starts off in the movie as being past the point of a doctor-patient relationship and, from there, evolves into something alot more. This scene also shows the ruthlessness of James and is the first scene to introduce a snicket of his "hobby". So... enjoy. Oh and before anybody comments on the layout, I know that it is not correct. On my computer, it is correct, but I cannot lay it out the correct way on this forum. i.e. there is no alignment tool.




CUE MUSIC: SOMBRE INSTRUMENTAL

FADE IN:

INT. PSYCHIATRISTS OFFICE LATE AFTERNOON

The office is dark, as the blinds at the windows have been pulled down. JAMES McCAFFREY sits in a large black leather chair in front of a desk. The desk is cluttered with paper and office equipment. Behind the desk sits THE PSYCHIATRIST. She is holding a clipboard in her hand.

FADE TO:

THE DESK - NEXT

A Dictaphone being set down on the desk by THE PSYCHIATRIST. She pushes the record button, and leans back in her chair.

FADE TO:

JAMES McCAFFREY - NEXT

JAMES places both elbows on the arms of the chair and he links his hands before his face, so that we cannot clearly see him.

FADE TO:

INT. PSYCHIATRISTS OFFICE NEXT

THE PSYCHIATRIST reads through her clipboard of notes, and then looks up at JAMES.

THE PSYCHIATRIST
So, you saved a life of your fellow man?

JAMES McCAFFREY
It was a woman and the way I see it, I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

THE PSYCHIATRIST
How do you mean?

She poises her pen over her clipboard, ready to write. JAMES hesitates, knowingly creating a feeling of tension within his analyst.

JAMES McCAFFREY
I was at Dantes

THE PSYCHIATRIST (INTERRUPTING)
Oh sure, I know Dantes. Nice food. Great Pasta. What did you have?

JAMES seems perturbed at seeming lack of interest from THE PSYCHIATRIST, but he happily answers the question.

JAMES McCAFFREY
Chicken. I always have the chicken.

He starts to go on with his story, but again:

THE PSYCHIATRIST (INTERRUPTING)
Ah, youre a chicken man. How do they serve it?

She is using subtlety to let JAMES know that he is not in control of the interview.

JAMES McCAFFREY
With seasoning and salad. Not the best Ive had.

THE PSYCHIATRIST writes down a few lines and then looks up again. JAMES does not attempt to continue with his story, and she smiles at this.

THE PSYCHIATRIST
Whats the best youve had?

JAMES is quick to reply, like his answer is well revised for that exact question.

JAMES McCAFFREY
Chicken breast baked in an orange flavouring.

THE PSYCHIATRIST
Orange? Ive heard of lemon chicken, but not orange. I shall have to try it. Please, continue.

JAMES grins, suddenly realising what THE PSYCHIATRIST was attempting, and succeeded, to do.

JAMES McCAFFREY
Well after ordering my chicken, I realised that Id left my card at home and I had no cash.

THE PSYCHIATRIST
So, you did the classic eat and run.

She giggles and writes down a few notes. JAMES nods and continues.

JAMES McCAFFREY
Unfortunately for me, the fire exit leads into the alley that, at that particular moment, had been selected by two young pricks looking for a helpless woman to mug.

FLASH TO:

EXT. DANTES ALLEYWAY NIGHT

A YOUNG WOMAN cowers beside a dumpster. A GUNMAN stands over her, pressing the barrel of a Revolver to her head. A LARGE THUG stands behind his accomplice, keeping watch. A fire exit bursts open just down the way and JAMES steps out into the alley. He spots the two men and stops.

FLASH TO:

INT. PSYCHIATRISTS OFFICE LATE AFTERNOON

THE PSYCHIATRIST finishes writing notes and looks up at JAMES.

THE PSYCHIATRIST
Why didnt you just walk away?

JAMES McCAFFREY
I offered, but the guy with the gun was jumpy. A first-timer. If I hadnt have done what I did that woman would be dead but, more importantly, so would I. It was basic instinct. The human drive for survival.

THE PSYCHIATRIST
So how did you end up killing them both?

JAMES McCAFFREY
The guy with the gun knocked the woman across the head

FLASH TO:

EXT. DANTES ALLEYWAY NIGHT

The GUNMAN cracks the YOUNG WOMAN over the head with his Revolver and turns to point it at JAMES.

SOUND INTERFENCE AND PICTURE ERROR TO:

JAMES McCAFFREY NEXT

JAMES has a gun in his hand, the hammer pulled back and ready to fire. He pulls the trigger.

SLOW MOTION TRACKING OF:

THE BULLET NEXT

The bullet swims through the air and punches straight through the GUNMANS wrist, blowing his whole hand off and sending his gun skidding away along the ground.

FLASH TO:

JAMES McCAFFREY NEXT

JAMES McCAFFREY (V.O.)
His accomplice starting tripping. I took the chance to put him down too.

JAMES smashes the LARGE THUG in the nose with the butt of his gun and then pushes his head into the brick wall. The back of his head splits open and he falls to the ground, leaving a trail of blood, bone and body tissue down the wall.

FLASH TO:

EXT. DANTES ALLEYWAY NEXT

The GUNMAN crawls along the ground on his stomach toward his gun. A gunshot rings out and the GUNMAN jerks as the back of his head explodes under the impact of the bullet.

FLASH TO:

INT. PSYCHIATRISTS OFFICE LATE AFTERNOON

THE PSYCHIATRIST looks undisturbed by JAMESS story. She continues to write down notes.

THE PSYCHIATRIST
What about the woman?

JAMES McCAFFREY
I called an ambulance. Helped her out into the street.

THE PSYCHIATRIST
Oh? Then, could it be that my most sinister client actually did a good dead?

JAMES lets out a small chuckle.

JAMES McCAFFREY
I left her on the street, though I knew she could easily lose enough blood from her head wound to result in her death. Plus, I left a fake name and address with the emergency line.

THE PSYCHIATRIST
Im surprised you didnt cap her yourself.

JAMES McCAFFREY
Im no psychopath. See, I dont prey on helpless victims. I dont kill parents who beat their children. I dont kill husbands who cheat on their wives. Insane psychopaths dont necessarily know that their insane. Their brains cant calculate the things they do. Yet mine my brain is able to tell the difference between wrong and right, unlike a psychopath. Which leaves one very good question, doctor. Why, oh why, do I kill people? The answer

THE PSYCHIATRIST shifts slightly in her chair, trying not to show too much interest in the answer she has been searching for since this man walked through her door three months ago.

JAMES McCAFFREY
The answer to why I kill people is because my brain is capable enough to do so in a creative and interesting way. Its not just senseless killing. Its more of a hobby.

Poe-et
September 5th, 2005, 07:10 PM
Very good. Quite creative presentation. Excellent execution. I feel like I've heard much the same idea before, but i wouldn't call it quite cliche- and i can tell there's more to the story. Write On!
Note:

JAMES McCAFFREY (V.O.)
His accomplice starting tripping. I took the chance to put him down too.

Do you mean started tripping?

Scott Tuplin
September 10th, 2005, 03:57 PM
starrwriter, I wasn't really sure whether a single shot in the wrist would blow the hand off or simply render it useless, but thanks for setting the record straight

And Poe-et, yes I did mean started. Little typo there ;)

Thanks to both of you and more to come soon, hopefully.