PDA

View Full Version : Something weird I wrote...



Quantum Loser
July 13th, 2005, 02:49 AM
INT. Insert any background here. :roll:

VICKY
I have this extra spork. Do you want it?

JENNIFER
Umm...no.

VICKY
Hey, let's play the Poking Game!

JENNIFER
Not THAT again! Remember what happened last time?

VICKY
No.

JENNIFER
Poor Amy had to get a spleen transplant 'cause--

VICKY
Poke! (pokes the spork into JENNIFER's eye)

The SPORK makes a squishing noise and stays there.

VICKY
I win!

JENNIFER
Um... I'm now blind in one eye?

VICKY
Ah! I call it art!

JENNIFER
I call it pain.

VICKY
It shall be part of my sculpture collection!

JENNIFER
But I'm not a sculpture!

VICKY
I will call it... Oedipus Reloaded!

JENNIFER
But Oedipus was blinded with a brooch!

VICKY
Hmmm...I think I have a brooch somewhere....

JENNIFER
Don't... you... dare....

VICKY
Oh well, I left it at home.

JENNIFER
Helloooo...? I'm suffering here? I need medical attention?

VICKY
Did I hear something?

JENNIFER
Horrible suffering? Pain?

VICKY
So?

JENNIFER
I need a doctor!

DOCTOR WILSON runs in.

DOCTOR WILSON
Did somebody ask for a Doctor?

JENNIFER
Over here.

DOCTOR WILSON
(stares) I have very bad news....

JENNIFER
Ahhh! I'm gonna die!

DOCTOR WILSON
Well, no. You forgot to comb your hair.

JENNIFER
What kind of a doctor are you?

DOCTOR WILSON
Doctor is just my first name.

JENNIFER
Argh! My vitreous humor hurts.

VICKY
And?

JENNIFER
(sarcastic) How humorous.

The BAD PUN FAIRY appears in a puff of smoke. She has a cardboard wand with a horrible pink star on top and cardboard wings that are obviously duct-taped on.

BAD PUN FAIRY
I am the bad pun fairy! And you made an awful pun! So I will be taking you to Bad Pun Land!!!

VICKY
The yelling! It burns!

BAD PUN FAIRY
How rude!!!

JENNIFER
Can you... erm... take this spork out of my eye?

BAD PUN FAIRY
Of course!!! (waves her wand so furiously the star falls off)

JENNIFER
MY EYE WORKS AGAIN!

VICKY
And I'm a real boy!

JENNIFER
And I thought Vicky was a girl's name.

VICKY
(obviously making it up) Umm... it's short for... er... Victor.

BAD PUN FAIRY
Oh, yeah! And I must be taking Victor to Psychiatrist Land!!!

VICKY
NOOOOOO! Not the psychiatrist!!! The horror! (5-second pause) My name isn't Victor.

BAD PUN FAIRY
I still get to take Jennifer to Bad Pun Land!!! We will be walking there, because my wings are obviously duct-taped on! It's at least five thousand miles!

VICKY
Hey, wait, can't you teleport there? You know, the whole puff-of-smoke thing?

BAD PUN FAIRY
That was just a plot hole! Jennifer and I'll have to walk!!!

JENNIFER
(lying) I'm not Jennifer! It's... uh...Jeff.

BAD PUN FAIRY
You two still get prizes, though!!!

JENNIFER and VICKY
Yay!

The BAD PUN FAIRY waves her now starless wand and makes two random things appear out of thin air. JENNIFER gets a briefcase full of hundred dollar bills, and VICKY gets a bowl of chili.

JENNIFER
Oh joy! A briefcase full of hundred dollar bills!

VICKY
Oh joy! Chili!

BAD PUN FAIRY
Oh, yeah! Since your name is Vicky and not Victor, you get to go to Infinite Supply of Beef Jerky Land for demonstrating the use of a flamethrower to kindergarteners!!!

VICKY
YAY! Crime does pay after all!

JENNIFER
I love these feel-good endings.

THE END!
-----
Don't try this at home.
Nobody was hurt in the making of this script.
Jennifer, I'm sorry if you were insulted. I just HAD to have a spork injury in there.
Vicky, you are probably not insulted at all.
Amy, I also HAD to have spleen damage. Everybody loves spleens. :lol:
I apologize for the (almost) complete lack of male characters. I'm not sure what Dr. Wilson's gender is. :roll:

girl4anime
July 20th, 2005, 02:16 AM
that is great.

Quantum Loser
July 20th, 2005, 03:57 AM
Erm...thanks, I guess. :oops:

Quantum Loser
July 22nd, 2005, 09:00 AM
*does not know how to respond to that, either*

Eiji Tunsinagi
July 23rd, 2005, 02:24 AM
I liked it. Reminded me of David Ives' stuff.

salvothasock
August 3rd, 2005, 09:56 PM
funny, and enjoyable

Scott Tuplin
August 12th, 2005, 06:10 PM
lmao that was truley wierd, and i like wierd stuff.

will you be writing anymore of this kind of stuff?

Quantum Loser
August 12th, 2005, 07:02 PM
will you be writing anymore of this kind of stuff?

Yes, considering I don't exactly write anything else. :roll:

Orchestra
August 13th, 2005, 01:55 PM
That was hilarious. Keep up the good work!

Scott Tuplin
August 13th, 2005, 09:32 PM
will you be writing anymore of this kind of stuff?

Yes, considering I don't exactly write anything else. :roll:

great. i look forward to reading more then :wink:

Pardot Kynes
August 15th, 2005, 01:21 AM
COOL! I thought of this happenning at KFC...

Muffin Man
August 24th, 2005, 11:00 PM
It made me laugh, and I'm not a very happy person. Thanks a lot. :thumbr:

Quantum Loser
August 25th, 2005, 07:26 PM
Glad to be of service.

demon_
August 26th, 2005, 11:11 AM
I think a demon has soo many emotions..... I go on a website called "flash player" it has many horrificly funny stuff like this. The doctor part made me luegh...it reminds me of "knox production: Klay Mation" <<< those guys are funny. expept they always die at the end of the flash.


Back on topic......

"Funny! Two Thumbs Up!"
-Demon

Quantum Loser
September 4th, 2005, 03:32 AM
This thread now has more views than that FORMAT one. I'm so proud. :wink:

Poe-et
September 5th, 2005, 05:08 PM
Great, hillarious, altogether delightful. But, if it were actually being played this:
BAD PUN FAIRY
I am the bad pun fairy! And you made an awful pun! So I will be taking you to Bad Pun Land!!!

VICKY
Do you always use exclamation marks like that? wouldn't make any sense, because you can't see the exclamation marks, there fore it wouldn't be funny.

Besides that, props.


(Invader Zim rocks, lov your Icon.)

Quantum Loser
September 5th, 2005, 08:16 PM
Ah well, I'll edit that someday... *likes to procrastinate*

What do you mean by props?

Poe-et
September 5th, 2005, 10:13 PM
Props=good job