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Scott Tuplin
June 1st, 2005, 10:04 PM
Black screen; soft white light in the background; smoke rising up the screen lit up by the soft light

LYLE (V.O.)
Man, this shit is the fucking shit

STAN (V.O.)
I be smokin this shit all night and be on a mother fuckin high for like a week or some shit.

LOMAX (V.O.)
What is it with you guys and the word shit? Id expect a couple of college guys like you to know more intelligent words than that particular one.

LYLE (V.O.)
What you mean? Like fuck?

Lyle and Stan laugh. It becomes clear through their tone that they are all stoned.

The black screen dissolves to reveal:

INT LYLES ROOM EVENING

Three teenage boys, Lyle, Stan and Lomax, are sprawled out around Lyles room. On the ground between there all is a collection of scattered weed, papers and a magazine with a half torn front cover.

LOMAX
Blasphemy is a sign of disrespect to the Lord.

STAN
I dont be doin no mother fuckin blasphemy, Lo!

LOMAX
You sittin there swearin all the time, with all your shits and fucks, man thats blasphemy.

LYLE
Punk, what a crock of shit! Blasphemy is like dissin the Lord himself. Swearin aint no mother fuckin blasphemy. Now, if I said eh, fuck God, God is a bitch, that shit is blasphemy!

LOMAX
There you go again, with your shit and all that. Why cant you just say thats blasphemy? Why you gota say that shit is blasphemy?

STAN
Lo, you be doin that shit too! You just all uppity-your-mother-fucking-ass cos you high!

Silence falls.

LOMAX
Man, shut up bitch, who the fuck askin you!?

LYLE AND STAN
You!

Silence falls again.

LOMAX
Man I was just tryin to prove a point, is all. You aint gota shoot a playa down, yknow!?

STAN
Boy, you aint no mother fuckin playa.

LYLE
You like a bench playa, maybe!

Lyle and Stan laugh.

LOMAX
I aint no bench playa!

LYLE
Oh, my bad, my bad.

STAN
Eh, you right Lo you aint no bench playa.

LOMAX
Thank you!

STAN
You more like a mother fuckin cheerleader!

Lyle and Stan crack up with uncontrollable laughter. Lomax struggles to his feet, almost falling over, which is received by another burst of laughter from the others.

LOMAX
Bitch, fuck you, I dont need this shit! I can go get high with some other mother fucker.

Lomax goes to the door, opens it and steps through.

STAN
Eh, Lo! I was just foolin, man!

The door slams shut and we hear Lomax almost falling down the stairs.

STAN
Aaaah, shit! Man, you gota learn how to take a joke!

We hear Lomax storming up the stairs. The door bursts open and Lomax falls into the room.

LYLE
Lo, you crazy coon what the fuck you doin!? You almost broke my mother fuckin door!

Lomax leaps to his feet.

LOMAX
Your moms is back!

LYLE
Oh shit!

There is a scuffle between the three as they rush around the room hiding the weed and papers. We hear someone coming up the stairs.

LYLES MOM (V.O.)
Lyle?

Lyle stops rushing about for a second to shout through his open door.

LYLE
Er yeah mom!?

LYLE MOM (V.O.)
What are you boys doing up there?

LYLE
Nothin, mom just being boys and shit

Lyle bites his lip, knowing hes done wrong swearing to his mother.

LYLES MOM (V.O.)
Boy, dont be fuckin swearing at me!

LYLE
Sorry mom.
Behind Lyle, Stan hits Lomax full force with a pillow. Lomax is knocked across Lyles bed, crashing noisily through Lyles wardrobe door. Lyle spins on the two, instantly forgetting about his mother being well-in earshot of all that is said.

LYLE
What the fuck you guys!? First you smoke all my mother fuckin weed now you break my mother fuckin door!? You guys are a couple of fuckin dickless pricks!

STAN
How the fuck can we be dickless pricks!? Prick is another word for dick, so dickless prick just cancelled itself out, you fuckin melon!

LOMAX
Guys, guys ssshhh

LYLE AND STAN
Shut the fuck up, Lo!

In this time, Lyles mother has appeared in the doorway and has been listening to every word said.

LYLES MOM
What the fuck is goin on in my house!?

Lyle and Stan slowly turn to Lyles Mom.

LYLE
Oh shit I think were in trouble

Cue Music Marilyn Manson: Disposable Teens

Fade out to:

Black screen with credit roll

Scott Tuplin
June 1st, 2005, 10:10 PM
bare in mind this is only the opening scene

cliched523
October 4th, 2005, 03:23 AM
I can accept that this a fact in society today, but I hate it really.

Sorcha
October 6th, 2005, 04:09 PM
It's quite a nice idea, and has a lot of potential - they sound like Detroiters though! Is that intentional? "Ain't no mother fuckin' playa" etc. is very... Yeah.
Besides that, I think it's totally fine. I'd love to see the finished screenplay.