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View Full Version : The first ten pages of my script. Exciting isn't it.



scorpionhunter21
May 5th, 2005, 02:22 AM
Well here is the first ten pages, Grant it, the script is still in rough draft form, but i just wanted to know what people thought.

FADE IN:
A lone rider, rides along the side of a rapid stream. The rider follows the stream all the way until it comes to a village. Stopping short of the village gate, the rider gets off of his Black Stallion, and walks to the gate. The rider notices a couple of Sentries patrolling on top of a catwalk above the village gate. He knocks.

EXT. OUTSIDE THE VILLAGE GATE-NIGHT, FULL MOON-CLEAR SKIES

OLD MAN (O.C.)
Who is it?

JAKE
Jake Lancaster.

OLD MAN (O.C.)
Liar, Jake left here a long time ago, and said that he would never return.

JAKE
No disrespect old man, but it was only three years ago when I left...

OLD MAN (O.C.)
No more, it still doesnt matter. I dont believe you. So go away. We are not accepting anybody else, unless you are a trader. And you dont sound like any trader.

JAKE
Have a look for yourself, since you dont believe Im Jake.
The window of the village gate opens, and the grey eyes of the old man look through.

OLD MAN
Take on step back from the door.

Jake steps back, and the old man gets a good look at Jake. The old mans eyes widen in amazement. The gate opens, and Jake leads his horse inside.

INT. INSIDE THE VILLAGE WALLS-NIGHT, FULL MOON-CLEAR SKIES

The old man closes the gate behind Jake.

OLD MAN
Oh my, it is really you...

The old man walks up to Jake and gives him a hug.

OLD MAN
Bless the gods,for your safe return.

JAKE
Um...yea, the gods, why are the streets vacant, its still early?

Jake looked around and noticed that, the old man had looked down, and was fidgeting with his thumbs.

OLD MAN
Well jake, a lot of things have changed, since the last time you were here. It used to be peaceful...

The old man stopped, and gazed at the village door.

OLD MAN
Oh, let us not dwell on such terrible things. Why dont you go find your one friend. Marcus was his name right? He is probably at the Ugly Maiden. And your sister Tana, should be at the temple.

JAKE
Yes, his name is Marcus, and thank you for the information. I wonder why
Tana is at the temple?

Jack got back on his horse and rode deeper into the village. He only turned around once, and waved to the old man. The old man made his way back to his station.

EXT. MUGEN FOREST-NIGHT, FULL MOON-CLEAR SKIES

Sixty Hazou are walking through Mugen forest, which is a semi-dense forest. The Hazou continue to walk, until they reach a hill. After climbing to the top of the hill, the Hazou can see, with their wolf-like eyes, the lights of Nazoth. They walk down the other side of the hill and stop before they cross the threshold between the forest and the clear plains, which lead to the village doors of Nazoth.

EXT. INSIDE THE VILLAGE WALLS-NIGHT, FULL MOON

Jack reaches the Ugly Maiden, which is a popular tavern in the village of Nazoth. Jack gets off his horse, and reins it to a post with a trench a water. He then proceeds to walk into the tavern entrance.

INT. THE UGLY MAIDEN-NIGHT

The door closes behind jake, and nobody notices except for the bartender.

BARTENDER
You look familiar, have I seen you around here before?

JAKE
My name is Jake Lancaster, I used to live here three years ago. But I left, and now I have returned.

BARTENDER
Thank you, for your life story. But all I asked you for was your name.

JAKE
Oh...well, my name is Jake

BARTENDER
Glad, we cleared that up. Now what will you have to drink.

JAKE
Just give me a pint of something good.

BARTENDER
Coming right up.

Jake walked up to the bar, and sat on the stool. He turned his back to the bartender, who was busily getting his drink ready. Jake started looking for Marcus, he found him in a corner booth making out with one of the local girls.

BARTENDER
That will be five coins.

JAKE
Heres six.

Jack handed the coins to the bartender and made his way over to Marcus.

JAKE
Hello, good friend.

MARCUS
Who is it?

JAKE
Is today, ask me a million questions day or something? Its me, Jake
Marcus pushed the girl off his lap, the girl then went to the bar. Marcus took a swig from his pint, and kept his back turned towards Jake.

MARCUS
Youre a liar, my friend Jake left here three years ago. And for trying to impersonate my friend, which you did a terrible job at. I will have to kill you, prepare yourself.

Marcus quickly turned around and drew his sword. But he stopped just inches from Jakes head. The whole time, Jake stood perfectly still, the bar became quiet with the sighting of the attack. Marcus sheathed his sword, and walked around Jake examining him.

MARCUS
Well.. You somewhat look like him...ok good enough for me.

JAKE
Thats good, Marcus how have you been?

MARCUS
Good, I guess, you really cant do anything anymore. Have a seat, tell me about your adventures after you left us.

Marcus and Jake sit down, and Marcus motioned for a the attention of a waitress.

WAITRESS
What will you have tonight?

JAKE
Just bring us two pints, of the finest brew, the Ugly Maiden has to offer.

The waitress walked off, leaving Marcus and Jake to themselves.
JAKE
Well, let me see, after leaving Nazoth I traveled west, onto the village of Isis. Now I dont know if you have been to Isis, but let me tell you, it is one of the most beautiful places, I have ever seen. Every thing is made from white marble, so when the sun hits certain building just right, they seem to glow. But back to what I was saying. In Isis, I served as a bodyguard for a high priestess. That didnt last long, so after a year of doing, I went up north, and lived in the Mountains of Volcom. After a half of a year, I realized I could no longer live as a nomad. So I head Southeast, where I lived and trained with the phoenix monks. And now Im back, the monks helped me realize that I needed to come back home. What have you, been doing these last three years?

The waitress returned with their drinks, she set the pints in front of them, and smiled at Jake. Marcus handed her the money. She walked away, and Jake noticed that she turned around and smiled at him again.

MARCUS
Interesting story, unfortunately unlike you. I dont have such an amazing tale to tell. Ive stayed in this village for the last three years, not because Im afraid to leave, but because there is nothing interesting out there. But I was appointed by the Chieftain, to lead and train a group of elite fighters known as the Darkstalkers. The Darkstalkers usually handle the Hazou for the chieftain. Alas, the Hazou have been constantly attacking the village, so I never get a moments peace. You know Jake, the Darkstalkers are looking for a final member. What do you say? Not only do you get to kill things, youll be revered as a hero, and you get to wear these sweet custom fit outfits.

Marcus stood up, and showed jake his outfit. Marcus then grabbed the same girl, that was sitting on his lap, when jake first talked to him, and started to make-out with her. The waitress came back, but this time with no drinks, she sat on jakes lap and whispered into his ear.

EXT. OUTSIDE THE VILLAGE GATE-NIGHT, FULL MOON

Three sentry guards are sitting around a table, on top of the wall playing a game of poker.

SENTRY NUMBER 2
Dont you think, we should be looking out for anything?

SENTRY NUMBER 1
Are you some sort of chicken? Nothing would dare try to attack our fair village, especially with the sky clear and a full moon shining. There is no shadows to hide in, they would be seen before they could even attack us. They would have to be out of their damn mind.

Suddenly the howling of what sounded like a wolf could be heard in the distance. The howling came from the Hazou. The eyes of all three sentries grew in fright, but before they could do anything a grappling hook, burst through the chest of sentry number 1, and he was pulled off the wall and dragged to the feet of the Hazou that pulled him down. The two remaining sentries, stayed still with fear until, Sentry number 2 ran for the warning bell. But he was shot down by a grouping of arrows. The last sentry also ran for the warning bell, he too was shot down, but he managed to reach the rope on the bell and pulled down, letting the bell ring.

INT. THE UGLY MAIDEN-NIGHT

Jake and Marcus are sitting down drinking from their pints, and eating their food. But suddenly jake tilts his head to the side, and is straining to hear something.

MARCUS
What are you doing? You look like a confused dog.

Marcus starts to imitate Jake, but adds the sound of a dog. Jake ignores him and gets up from his seat, and heads towards the door.

JAKE
Dont you hear that sound? It sounds like a bell ringing.

Marcus stopped making fun of Jake, and headed towards the window. He opened the window, and stuck his head out. His head stayed out there, for a very seconds before he pulled it back in. He looks very calm, and leans towards Jake.

MARCUS
(whispering to Jake)
Well it looks like your audition for the Darkstalkers, is going to be tonight.

JAKE
What are you talking about?

MARCUS
Youll see.

Marcus walks towards the bar, leaving Jake with a confused look on his face. Marcus got on top of the bar, and whistled as loud as he could, which drew everyones attention to him

MARCUS
Well if you havent noticed, the warning bells are ringing. And the only time, they ring the bells are if we are about to be attacked by the Hazou, now i dont know how long the bells have been ringing, but it looks like we have to protect our village, so Im suggesting you get off your asses and run towards the front gate to help protect this village.

Marcus jumps off the bar, and motions Jake to follow him outside. Jake pushes through the crowd of people as he makes his way outside.

EXT. INSIDE THE VILLAGE WALLS-NIGHT, FULL MOON

Jake looks around for Marcus, he finds him standing next to a group of people and their horses. Before he walks over to him, Jake unharnessed his horse.

MARCUS
Jake, i would like to introduce you to the Darkstalkers. Starting from the left; First you have the sexy vixen Kellianne.

KELLIANNE
Hello.

MARCUS
Then you have Shane.

SHANE
Howdy

MARCUS
Next you have Isaac, now dont let the somewhat nerdy look fool you. He can kiss your ass, if you get him mad enough.

ISAAC
Hello

MARCUS
And finally, last but not least, we have John. Note dont worry if he doesnt talk to you at first. Youll get used to it. There you have it. The Darkstalkers. Oh yea by the way everyone, this is my friend Jake. Now does anyone know whats going on?

ISAAC
Yes, well we have about sixty Hazou about to attack us. Easy enough to defend, right? But we have a problem,Malak is leading them.

JAKE
Um, why is this a problem again?

ISAAC
Oh, because he is probably one of the best fighters, the Hazou have to offer, and he is also the son of Vulkan, the leader of the Hazou.

JAKE
Well, what does Malak look like?

ISAAC
Hes big, trust me youll know him, when you see him out on the battlefield.

MARCUS
Alright, enough talking. Darkstalkers, we ride into battle, and onto glory.

The Darkstalkers, get on their horses and ride towards the front gate. Jake follows them.

EXT. MUGEN FOREST-NIGHT, FULL MOON-CLEAR SKIES

Revan walks past a small group of Hazou huddled around a campfire. He continues to walk past more Hazou, until he reaches
Malak, a much larger Hazou standing by himself looking at Nazoth.

REVAN
Sir, the killing of the human guards caused them to ring bell. They are coming out into Hunters Valley.

MALAK
Good, rally the men, we attack at once.

REVAN
Yes sir.

Revan yells at the other Hazou to get their gear ready for battle. The Hazou get their weapons and follow Malak out into Hunters Valley.

INT. INSIDE THE VILLAGE WALLS-NIGHT, FULL MOON

The Darkstalkers get off their horses, and run through the gate to the battle that already started.

EXT. OUTSIDE THE VILLAGE, HUNTERS VALLEY-NIGHT, FULL MOON

Bodies are sprawled all over the field, blood soaks the grass, turning it into a crimson sea. The battle is covering a large portion of Hunters Valley. The villagers of Nazoth, are barely holding their own, against the vicious onslaught of the Hazou. In the middle of the battle, Malak is easily defeating four villagers. The Darkstalkers run into the battle but split up. Kellianne runs off to the right, pulling out her twin daggers, she jumps into the air, colliding into the nearest Hazou digging her daggers into its back. John walks up to two Hazou, and draws a line in the ground with his sword. The two Hazou look at each other and charge at John. John dodges the first attack, and cuts the first Hazou in the stomach, and quickly chops off the head of the second Hazou. Isaac starts to go to the right, but is attacked from behind by a pair of Hazou. He flips over them, landing in a crouched position, he cuts off the legs of one of the Hazou. He then, grabs the arm of the other Hazou, pulling it down, while simultaneously cutting its throat. Shane put the string on his unstrung Bow, and started firing at different Hazou. Marcus and Jake headed straight for Malak, killing any Hazou that tried to stop them. Marcus stops, because he is surrounded by a group of Hazou. He easily kills all of them. Jake reaches Malak, right after Malak killed the last villager. Jake attacks Malak, but Malak blocks all his attempts. They continue this, until Kellianne, John, Isaac, and Marcus join in, but Malak still blocks all of their attempts. All of a sudden, Malak throws down a smoke bomb, and escapes, along with whatever was left of the sixty Hazou that came with him.

JAKE
(coughing)
Well that was fun, now wasnt it?

ISAAC
No, no actually that was pretty bad. But I do have to give it to you. You stood your ground against a good warrior, grant it, he didnt attack you either.

JAKE
OK, fine maybe he didnt attack, but you didnt do any better when you joined in.

ISAAC
Yes, youre right, but none of us did any good against him. So why dont we just go back to the Ugly Maiden and have a drink.

MARCUS
Fine with me, frankly I need a drink after that.

Well thats it, actually i have more pages, i just wanted to know what people thought of the first ten.