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View Full Version : Narco Ninja Rated R partially censored.



wackeychan
April 3rd, 2005, 08:39 PM
Hi. I'm not new to the screenwriting thing. I was going to post a longer one, but I figured no one would read it. This is a short I did about two years ago, and have already filmed. Thought some of you might be interested.

"Narco Ninja"
Story 3 of 5 of the Sons of Belial
"Now the sons of Eli were sons of Belial; they knew not The Lord." (1. Samuel 2:12 KJV)

Black Screen
SFX: Alarm Buzz
Int. Safe house- Before Dawn
MARK UPHAM sits up in bed.
There are three FED's in separate beds beside him. Mark sits up and rubs his hands over his face. He then slams the alarm clock, and it makes a "Kchrrn" sound
Int. Office- Day
An OLDER MAN sits at his desk, listening to the phone and writing things down. This man is GESEPPI.

GESEPPI
Hey! Hey! HEY! Shut the fkuc up for three seconds an' listen ta me ya flamin' fgagot. I need your guy down in here by this morning. This ahssloe's going into court at nine tomorrow night, and I want him taken down. . . Don't start none of that fkucing pig latin on me, you speak english? Good, so fkucing get this guy on down here.

GESEPPI hangs up the phone. He writes more things down.
At this point VIC TALENT enters into the room.

GESEPPI
Where the fkuc have you been, take a seat, Vic.
VIC
Sorry, Geseppi. Got a bit held up.
GESEPPI
Any of those fkucing feds see you?
VIC
Not a one.
GESEPPI
You got what I need?
VIC
I do. I do.

Vic takes a manilla folder from his jacket and hands it
to Geseppi, who flips it open.
Geseppi begins reading, and then he smiles and laughs.

VIC
So what'd the ahssloe do, Geseppi?
GESEPPI
This guy look familiar to you?
VIC
Yeah, I guess.
GESEPPI
Where you seen him before?
VIC
Aside from when I took those pictures there for you, I couldn't say.
GESEPPI
Eh, what do you know. This ahssloe used to work for me.
VIC
Oh, yeah yeah, I see it now that you put it into that context. Who is he, Phil? Rick?
GESEPPI
Mark. Mark Upham. fkucing ahssloe. Last week we was working together with that thing down in the South docks.
VIC
What with that guy, what was his name? Phillipio?
GESEPPI
Yeah. We went on down there to take care of it, and Upham tells me 'hey, listen Mr. Geseppi, no offense, but I can't kill this guy.'
VIC
No stih.
GESEPPI
No stih is right. Turns out he had some religious awakening or something, wants to 'wash the blood off his hands'. That fkucin' fgagot.
VIC
So what, you tried to kill him?
GESEPPI
What am I, an animal? No, I didn't try to kill him, I tried to bargain with him, reason with him but he wouldn't have it. He says that he's gonna rat on me and that's that.
VIC
No stih.
GESEPPI
No stih is right no stih.
VIC
So then he turned himself in?
GESEPPI
Went to the fed's four days ago. They cut him a deal. Him for me. He gets off scott free and I'm left with the fed's on my ass.
VIC
So you're gonna kill him.
GESEPPI
I ain't gonna get within twelve miles of that fkuc, no way.
VIC
You want me to kill him?
GESEPPI
No, I don't want anyone of our guys even close to him.
VIC
Well than what, we know what safehouse he's at, what are we gonna do?
GESEPPI
I just got off the phone with Yakatito Yamamura, Japanese fkuc from down around the upper east side.
VIC
' And?
GESEPPI
They're sending this ninja guy down this morning to take care of him.
VIC
A ninja?
GESEPPI
Yeah.
VIC
What's his name?
GESEPPI
I don't know his fkucing name. All I knows is that this Yamamura guy is sending down this ninja. Then ninja'll pick up this here from you, and then he'll take care of Mark Upham.

Ext. Parking Lot- Day

VIC(V.O)
Where am I gonna meet him?

Vic's car drives up to the driveway.

GESEPI (V.O)
There's an old lot you can get to, nice and clean, away from any audience. This ninja will be there to meet you.

Vic gets out of his car and stands, waiting.
He stands silently for a few moments, then starts
whistling the main riff from "Stuck in the middle"
As he whistles, another car pulls up.
An asian man sits in the drivers seat and rolls down the
window, still looking forward.

VIC
Where you been, man? I've been waiting.
MAN
Do you have the information?
VIC
Yeah, I got it.

Vic hands him the manilla folder.
The man takes it and drives off.

VIC
fkuc ass.

Int. Man's car- Day

The man pulls over onto the side of the road.
He then opens the manilla folder and looks at it.
In the center of the papers is a picture of MARK UPHAM
Camera zooms into the picture.
Suddenly, the picture comes to life.
Int. Safe house- Afternoon
MARK sits at a card table.
There are two other men at this card table.

MARK
Got any threes?
AGENT 1
Go fish.
MARK
God damn it.
The Agents are WEST and TORO

WEST
Got any fives?
TORO
Eat me.
WEST
You're supposed to say go fish.
TORO
King me.
WEST
That's checkers ahssloe.
MARK
Hey, you got any sixes?
TORO
It ain't your turn, Upham.
MARK
I was just asking!
TORO
Wait your turn.

Suddenly, a new agent, RIVERA walks in.
In hand he has 2 grocery bags

WEST
Where you been?
RIVERA
I got what you guys asked for.
MARK
You get my comic books?
RIVERA
Yeah. You're lucky I like you. Anyone else asks me to go and and get them something I don't know about, better think twice.
TORO
Was that english, Rivera?
RIVERA
It was fkucin' Hebrew.
WEST
Hey, would you take your turn, Toro? I'm getting antsy here!
TORO
fkucing chill out for a second. Got any threes?
MARK
You idiot!
TORO
What?
MARK
I just asked West that!
TORO
When?
WEST
Just before Rivera walked in.
TORO
I didn't hear it.
MARK
Obviously not.
TORO
So you got any nines?
WEST
What the fkuc you doing?
TORO
I'm doing it over!
MARK
Ya can't do it over.
TORO
Please?

Ext. Building- Morning
A car pulls into the driveway.

Int. Safe house- Morning

MARK
You can't do it.
WEST
It ain't allowed!
TORO
I was just asking!

Int. Hallway- Morning
A black boot-clad foot creeps down the hall.
Pan up, to see the NINJA, with a sword on its back.

Int. Safe house- Morning

RIVERA
You took your turn, and you got it wrong, so it ain't your turn. Now it's Wests' turn again, simple as that, Toro.
TORO
Lighten up, Rivera. Honestly, what do you think I am? I ain't trying to jew you on this man.
WEST
Well it ain't your turn!
TORO
Okay! Okay! Jesus I'm sorry.

Ext. Safe house- Morning
The Ninja is at the door, he checks it, and its locker.
He bends down and begins to pick it.
He works quickly, then finally clicks it open.
He silently opens the door.
All the men have their backs to him.
RIVERA stands with his back closest to the ninja.
The Ninja draws his sword and holds it Takakura Ken-
Style, pointed at a downward angle, sneaking up silently
behind Rivera. He then strikes, slashing his back, and placing
his hand over Rivera's mouth, so no sound comes out. He lets
Rivera slump to the floor. As Rivera hits the floor, West, Toro
and Mark turn and see the Ninja. Before they can draw their guns,
West hits the floor. Toro gets one shot off, misses, and before
he can get another one off, the Ninja has sliced off his hand.
Toro begins rolling around the floor in agony. Mark backs up and
is curled up into a corner. The ninja stands over Toro, and then
slams the sword down through him. Blood spurts up, splashing on
Mark's face.
The Ninja turns, faces Mark, and raises his sword above him.
Mark winces in fear, as the sword comes up higher.
Mark freezes in time, wincing in fear, waiting for the blow.
waiting.
waiting.
Mark, then opens one eye.
The Ninja stands frozen over him. Mark looks at him.
Suddenly, the Ninja drops the sword, then falls to the ground.
Mark stays in his ball in the corner for a moment, then begins to
creep over to the Ninja on the floor.
He then reaches up over the Ninja, and waves his hand in front of
the Ninja's face. Suddenly, he hears the ninja 'say' something.
He leans in close, and then we can hear the Ninja is snoring.

MARK
Holy fkucin' hell.

Mark stands up and looks around at the dead bodies.

MARK
Holy fkucin' hell!

Mark goes to a phone by the wall.

MARK
Come on!

Mark dials a few numbers and we hear a ring.

MARK
fkucing pick up!

Int. Car- Morning
VINCE LATRELL picks up his phone.

VINCE
Yellow!
MARK
Vince? It's Mark.
VINCE
Hey man, what's happening?
MARK
I'm in real fkucing trouble man.
VINCE
Wait wait wait, what's up?
MARK
You know how I'm staying at this safe house, right man?
VINCE
Yeah. Waitaminute, ain't you supposed to testify tomorrow morning?
MARK
Yeah man, I think. Listen, man. The fed's I was staying with? They're dead.
VINCE
Wait, what?
MARK
Someone came here to kill me, and he killed all them, man! I need your help!
VINCE
Okay, man. Jesus. Where are you?
MARK
Corner of 8th and 9th man. Hurry the fkuc up, I got this guy here.
VINCE
Is he dead?
MARK
I don't know, man. I just need you on up here!
VINCE
Okay, man. Okay. I'll be there in five minutes.

Vince hangs up his cell phone.

Int. Office- Day
GESEPPI sits at his desk on the phone.


GESEPPI
You listen to me, you whacked out Jap prick! You said your guy would be done by nine in the a.m. Yes, I know that was an hour ago, why ain't he checked in? Well you better figure it out man!

Geseppi hangs up the phone.

Int. Safe house Hall- Morning
Vince quickly walks down the hallway.
He reaches the end door and knocks on it.

MARK (from inside)
Who goes there?
VINCE
What you mean, 'who goes there' what is this, Alladdin and the 40 thieves? Open sesame, motha fkuca.

Mark opens the door.
Vince greets him and hugs him.

VINCE
Okay, what happened man?
MARK
Well, I been staying here a week, right? And everything was going hunky dory, until about twenty minutes ago, this. . . Ninja just comes in with a sword and cuts all the Fed's in half. Then, he's standing over me--
VINCE
Is that him?
MARK
Yeah man. He's standing over me. . . And I'm there, and suddenly he just drops his stih and falls down flat on the ground.
VINCE
He have a heart attack or something?
MARK
I don't know man.

Vince bends down to the Ninja.
Suddenly, he hears the Ninja snore, jumps five feat back

VINCE
What the hell! You didn't tell me that thing was alive!
MARK
Well I didn't say he was dead!
VINCE
He just fell down? Down on the ground just like that?
MARK
Yeah man.
VINCE
You touch him?
MARK
What do you mean, 'Touch' him, man?
VINCE
Did you move him!?
MARK
No man.
VINCE
Well you know that when he wakes up, he's gonna wanna make sushi out of your ass, right?
MARK
Well that's why I called you.
VINCE
Let's see who he is.
MARK
What, like take off his mask?

Vince bends down and puts his hands at the bottom of the Ninja's hood, then pulls it up.
We see the asian man we saw in the parking lot with Vic.

VINCE
You recognize him?
MARK
No, man.
VINCE
This cat must have narcolepsy.
MARK
Wuzzat?
VINCE
It's when you fall asleep.
MARK
Like a reflex?
VINCE
It's like a disease.
MARK
Makes sense.
VINCE
Okay, help me get his legs.
MARK
What are we doing?
VINCE
We're gonna tie this sucker up.

Black screen
Sfx: Shuffling, mumbling.
Int. Safe House- Morning
Cut to the Ninja, still asleep, tied to a chair.

MARK
Now what, we wait for him to wake up?
VINCE
We ain't gonna wait.

Vince goes to the sink and fills up a bucket of water.

MARK
Ain't that gonna get him a little mad?
VINCE
Well, it'll wake him up.

Vince takes the bucket of water over to the Ninja tied to the chair, then splashes the entire thing into his face.
As soon as he does, the Ninja jolts to life, gasping.
When he comes to, his eyes focus on Vice.

VINCE
Konnichiwa. Gomennasai- anata no kibun wo gaisuru tsumori wa arimasen destiha. (Good afternoon, I'm sorry, I did not mean to offend you)

Mark stares at him.

MARK
You speak Japanese?
VINCE
A little. Shut up man. Okay, you- flock of seagulls- who sent you?
NINJA
Zettai watashi wo shaberaseru koto wa dekinai. (you will never make me talk)
MARK
What did he say?
VINCE
Something about talking, man, I don't know. I don't speak Japanese.
MARK
Then why are you speaking it?
VINCE
Man, my mothers Uncle's nephew is Japanese. He taught me a little, that's it.
MARK
Well say something else.
VINCE
Watashi wo itai me ni awasenaide kudasai. (Please do not injure me)

The Ninja gives him a strange look.
Vince spends a moment trying to figure out what he said.

MARK
Do you even know what you're saying?
VINCE
I think so.
NINJA
Zettai watashi wo shaberaseru koto wa dekinai.
VINCE
Ya, you already said that, man! Tell me something else.
NINJA
Okaraseruna yo. (Do not make me angry)
MARK
What is he saying?
VINCE
Who sent you?

The ninja spits.
Vince spits too
VINCE
Is an awfully strange name!
MARK
Man, this guy ain't gonna tell us stih.
VINCE
Yeah, maybe your right. . . . Maybe we should beat it out of him.
MARK
Can we do that?
VINCE
What the hell you mean, can we do that? This block of cheese came on in here and tried to kill you. When someone enters your house, or safe house with the intent to kill you you can do whatever you damn well please to em!
MARK
Well, okay. . . What do we do?

Vince raises his fist and punches the Ninja.
His hit lands off, so he bounces back, falling on the
ground in pain

VINCE
Mother fkucer!

Int. Office- Day
GESEPPI is on the phone.

GESEPPI
Well where the fkuc's you guy? You need me to send over one of my own guys over there to clean up this fkucing mess? Huh? This guy ain't gonna be testifying! (to O.S.) VIC! Get your ass on in here!

Int. Safe House- Day

Vince punches the Ninja.
Mark runs up and kicks him.

MARK
I don't know man, this guy don't seem to want to talk.
VINCE
Course he don't.
MARK
Maybe we shouldn't be going about it like this, man. I mean, we beat him long enough and he'll tell us that he's Michael Jackson in stage 7 of his surgery if we want him to.
VINCE
Mm. You got a good point there, man.
MARK
Well? What do we do?
VINCE
You don't got a damn idea what to do yourself on this earth, do you man.
MARK
I just never had to interrogate some guy before who was trying to kill me.
VINCE
You got any idea why he'd be trying to kill you?
MARK
Well it may, just maybe have something to do with the fact I'm gonna testify tomorrow, and a whole lot of people don't want me to do that.
VINCE
So you're saying, that if you do that thing, that they don't want you to do, then they'll try to get you for doing it?
MARK
Yeah, man.
VINCE
And they all ready sent Mushi here. . . So that means that they know where you are.
MARK
Maybe we should get out of here, man.
VINCE
. . . Alright, I know someone we can call.

Int. Cody's house- Morning

CODY JAMES sits in his chair, eating cereal.
Suddenly the phone rings.
He answers it in a flash.

CODY
Cody James. . . . Ready to get your freak on?
VINCE
Cody, man. It's Vince.
CODY
Vince. What is your logic for this newly tapped central of communication?
VINCE
Me and my man Mark are in some trouble, we were wondering if we could come stay with you for the night.
CODY
Sure, dude. Just. . . Fly on in.
VINCE
I appreciate it, man. I appreciate it.

Vince hangs up.

Int. Office- Day
VIC walks into Geseppi's office.

GESEPPI
We need to take care of this now, my boy.
VIC
You want me to go alone?
GESEPPI
It would be beneficial if you did. I don't want more people getting dragged into this, and since these Japanese guys fkuced up this whole thing, I gotta send someone who I can really use.
VIC
You want me to go now?
GESEPPI
Yeah. Hurry, cause we don't know what the fkuc's going on there.

Ext. Lot- Day
Vic's car drives away.
Int. Safe house- Day

VINCE
Okay, get your stih together, and we'll get on over to Cody's.
MARK
What about him?
VINCE
Uh. . . We'll just leave him I guess.
MARK
We can't just leave him here. He'll get cold.
VINCE
Man, who cares!?
MARK
He's soaking wet, man. We could at least give him a towel.
VINCE
Okay, I'll get him a towel.

Mark goes off to one side, Vince the other.
Camera stays on the Ninja, who just sits there.

Ext. Safe house- Day
Vic takes out two guns from his trunk.
He slams it closed, and heads towards the safe house.

Int. Safe House- Day
Mark is stuffing his bag full of his clothes.
Int. Bathroom- Day
Vince grabs a towel from a rack.
Int. Safe house- Day
Vince walks behind the Ninja, and starts wiping the
water from him.
Int. Hallway- Day
Vince walks down the hallway slowly.

VINCE
Can we go now?
MARK
Fine.

Vince goes to open the door.
Vic stands in the doorway.
Everyone is frozen.
Cut to
Behind the Ninja- his ropes are frayed from him sawing at it, and he breaks free, grabbing his sword again.
Vince draws his two guns and points them at the ninja and Vic.
Vic draws his two guns and points them at Vic and Mark
The Ninja holds his Katana above the rest.
Mark stands in the middle of the three in the heat of this mexican standoff.
Camera circles around them.
C.U. Mark
Black screen
The twinkly version of 'Lullaby And Goodnight' begins playing.
End Credits.