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Itinerant Gypsy
February 17th, 2005, 11:11 AM
No, this has nothing to do with the other two films of the same name.

Continuum is a short script of my own devising. I wrote it to get used to writing in a screenplay format and with a very 'I've got to start somewhere!' mentality. I am starting a degree in Creative Arts majoring in Screenwriting this year. Continuum is only a short script for a 5-minute movie, with the idea being that it would run before a feature film that I will hopefully some day write. An amalgamation of the two scripts might be possible, but we'll see how it all pans out. Anyway, possibilities aside, the exercise in itself was worth doing. And so I present it to you for criticism.
I am a large fan of abstract writing and cinema - both when written with clear allegory, metaphor, allusion and without. Continuum is not supposed to be a straight-forward film. It's not horribly 'arty' or anything...but I digress.

NOTE: All stage directions and introduction to characters carry the [ ] as markings.

Continuum

A continuous nonspatial whole or succession in which no part or portion is distinct or distinguishable from adjacent parts. Dictionary subtitles are awful.

A Minor Screenplay by Luke Corbin.

Dedicated to Morbid Angel.
---

Scene 1
[A blank screen. White text appears. It says:]

[Scene 1. A blank screen. White text appears.]

[Five seconds pass, and the text is replaced with more text:]

[Five seconds pass. A pot-bellied male in his late 30s is sitting at a round, green table. He is eating sausages and mash potato, making natural dinner noises. More of the man is shown; he is wearing a grey singlet, hasnt shaved in a couple of days and doesnt look particularly happy.]

[The text fades away, and the blank screen changes into a dingy suburban dining room. A pot-bellied male in his late 30s [POT-BELLY] is sitting at a round, green table. He is eating sausages and mash potato, making natural dinner noises. More of POT-BELLY is shown; he is wearing a grey singlet, hasnt shaved in a couple of days and doesnt look particularly happy. His dining room is messy, untidy from the last few meals. Newspapers scattered. A direct frontal shot now occurs. POT-BELLY addresses the camera, using his fork (with impaled sausage) to illustrate his points and continuing to eat in between sentences, occasionally spitting at the camera.]

POT-BELLY: Robert Donner, Curt Johnson. Two names. Do they mean anything to you? No, they dont mean anything to you. Youve never fuckin heard of them. Theyre just meaningless words, part of the elitist order of names in the English language; better than adjectives or verbs, these names are unique. These names could be characters in this movie, they could be the names of my parents, they could be fuckingwellyou know, they could be anything. [He changes mood quickly.] What did you say? What the fuck did you just say?

Scene 2
[A dentists waiting room. There is a receptionist [RECEPTIONIST] who is smoking a cigar, and a few seated people, including a fit young man with dark hair [CURT JOHNSON]. He flips through an issue of Ralph keenly. The clock ticks slowly past 10am. The camera passes through the wall and into the dentists operating theatre. The dentist [ROBERT DONNER] is standing in the centre of the room in boxer shorts. His posture is that of an angel. His eyes open wide to the camera and his assistant [ASSISTANT] dresses him in quick, robotic movements. When he is dressed, ROBERT DONNER turns and hits a large red button on the wall labeled NEXT. Some kind of music and/or sound effects would be appropriate.]

Scene 3
[Back in the dentists waiting room, the receptionist looks up and speaks.]

RECEPTIONIST: Johnson, Curt. Go on in, big boy.

[CURT stands up hurriedly and brushes himself down. He appears embarrassed. He walks towards the door into the dentist theatre. He is still carrying the Ralph magazine.]

RECEPTIONIST: Leave the magazine here darling. Dr. Donner doesnt like that kind of smut.

CURT: Oh. Right. Sorry. [CURT puts the magazine down and enters into the theatre.]
[Inside the theatre. ROBERT is sitting on a bench, and the ASSISTANT is fiddling with dentistry tools. The door swings open and CURT enters.]

ROBERT: Ah! Curt my boy! Back for your yearly check up, no? [ROBERT flashes a cheeky grin and kicks his legs in a child-like fashion from his seated position.]

[CURT looks a little dismayed, awkward. He stands in the doorway.]

CURT: Yes, I, um, suppose. I got a letter. You know, a reminder letter. From you guys; 12 months have passed, come get your teeth cleaned! Haha. [ROBERT has adopted a serious expression and the joke falls flat. ROBERT jumps off the bench and onto the floor.]

ROBERT: [He approaches CURT.] This is not the time for jokes, big boy. [CURT fidgets.] Get in the chair.

CURT: Uhm, yes, um, sorry. [CURT walks over to the dentist chair and sits in it. He is visibly intimidated by ROBERT and eyes the ASSISTANT warily.]

[ROBERT walks over to the bench and pulls out a wooden chair. He sits on it in the reverse position, directly in front of CURT. He is staring at CURT intently.]

ROBERT: [Shouting.] HELEN!

ASSISTANT: [ASSISTANT walks over and begins to operate on CURT. She has one of those round red clown noses on. She does all of the normal, innocent dentistry procedures to CURTs oral region. ROBERT stares at CURT the entire time. ASSISTANT finishes.] Were all done here. [She removes her gloves.]

[ROBERT stands up. He folds his arms. Still staring at CURT.]

CURT: [He gets up slowly.] Thanks...uhm, that was great, I [He is interrupted.]

ROBERT: [Shouting.] TARTAR IS YOUR PROBLEM! [Poor old ROBERT is visibly enraged.]

[CURT yelps and runs out of the room, knocking over the ASSISTANT. ROBERT runs to her aid. CURT runs into the reception, looks behind him, hesitates, and then throws a $50 note onto the reception desk. Nobody in the waiting room raises an eyebrow. He bolts outside and into the street.]

Scene 4
[CURT is running down the street. He is terrified, saying Oh God, Jesus Christ, and Shit shit shit. He knocks over an old lady and keeps running. OLD LADY gets up and chases after him. She is strong, she is fast. CURT trips over a small Chihuahua (with accompanying yelps). OLD LADY leaps through the air and lands atop CURT. Blood bursts onto the camera lens. Scene cuts.]

Scene 5
[POT-BELLY is sitting on a green bench in a leafy park eating fish & chips. He uses individual chips and chunks of fish to illustrate his point this time around and he is much more oily, greasy, etc in his eating habits.]

POT-BELLY: Robert Donner, Curt Johnson. Two names. Some of you now know who they are. So now youre thinking, youre probably thinking, what kind of movie is this? Whats with the bullshit fat man narrating this thing? The answer: this is not a movie. Its far too short.

THE END.
[No credits for ten seconds, then a large fanfare, followed by credits. Credits are tiny.]

Any comments would be appreciated!

mammamaia
February 17th, 2005, 08:19 PM
screenplays don't have 'stage directions,' luke... and brackets are not used in film scripts... nor do you number scenes until you at the shooting script stage... it seems you might be confusing writing for the stage with writing a screenplay...

if you'd like some help with this, i mentor lots of aspiring screenwriters and have a format guide i can send you... i can't comment on content, as the print is so tiny i'd go blind trying to read it... sorry...

hugs, maia
[email protected]

zaoshang
February 22nd, 2005, 02:31 AM
I agree. The small typeface and all those stage directions make this script very difficult to read. I really tried.

Sorry I can't say more...