PDA

View Full Version : Untitled Parody (PG for a couple of mild swear words)



WarOnErrorism
January 30th, 2005, 07:30 AM
Okay, this is one of the first parody plays I've EVER written. I wrote it at 2am, and it makes no sense, sounds quite immature and has terrible, cheesy jokes. BUT I'd like to be a humour columnist someday so I guess it's a start for someone 14 years old, right?!
It's short, but I want to continue it next time I have insomnia and insane thoughts polluting my brain.

So basically for a synopsis, it's a parody of certain celebrities who randomly appear. They include Spiderman, Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, Ashton Kutcher, 50 cent, etc. Oh, and a Star Wars cameo :) It mainly focuses on parody-ing that, as well as Punk'd. So...yes. Not really a good way to describe this.

Thanks :).

******
So I was just sitting in my office chair when all of a sudden Spiderman walked in. I was shocked, only I really wasn't. I was expecting him.

Me: Got the goods?

Spidey: Oh, evil master, how I tried to get the goods but...I was attacked by Ben Affleck's mustache!

Me: Ben Affleck has a MUSTACHE?! I was not informed of this. Curse you misinforming Enquirer, if only I read the Globe...

Spidey: Er, Master, my punishment?

Me: Ohh yeah. *Pulls off mask of Spiderman to slap him but reveals that Spiderman is REALLY...Lindsay Lohan?* What?! *Slaps Lindsay Lohan* Who are you?!

LL: I was a teenage draaaama queeeen...I mean...*Pulls off another mask* Usher! Yeeeah yeeaah! *Does cheap dance move and starts mumbling lyrics*.

Me: Sweet angry chesterfields. There is only ONE way to solve THIS! Justin Timberlake!

*Justin Timberlake falls from the ceiling*

JT: *Also does cheap dance move, but looks funny x2 because he's white* I'm lovin it! Be prepared to battle, oh mighty one they call Usher. *Hauls light sabre from his large, baggy, bad boy pants*.

Usher: Yeeeah! *Hauls out another large light sabre from his equally huge bad boy pants*.

Me: Never mind, I already know what happens here and how this ends. You two duel, then AJ from the Backstreet Boys walks in but gets confused and walks back out again and then Britney Spears walks in -

*Before our mighty narrator can finish her sentence, Britney Spears randomly enters the room*

Britney: I'm a slut! No...wait...I'm your father! That's how the line goes! I'm your slutty father!

Usher: Yeeeah!

*Then Yoda and R2D2 walk in, clearly offended*

Yoda: So THIS is what you do with our story when we're sleeping or possibly just out clubbing/having casual sex! We'll show you how it's done!

*Yoda pulls out his pimp cane while R2D2 starts to breakdance, then he raps*

I'm a gangsta, but y'all knew dat
With pimps *points to Yoda* and hoes *points to Britney*
I'm the hip R2D2, but I've got no nose
I'm a robot, I'm ran by a chip
If you mess with my crew, I'll have to flip!
Baaaaam!

*20 poptarts hear the word BAM and start nodding and bouncing up and down like slightly drugged teenagers. Our narrator gets annoyed, and interrupts the rest of the clearly pimped R2D2 rap*

Me: Whose story is this anyways?! *Presses button and everyone disappears* So, you see kids, when you sniff pancake mix you risk losing all 3 of your brain cells that aren't thinking about sex. Not to mention -

*BUT our über cool narrator gets cut off yet again when 50 Cent walks in*

50: Bang! Bang! Me shoot you with gangsta style, me have guns, me been shot 14 times!

Me: Oh so you think you're tough, EH? So you think that you can beat us nerds huh? Well, I'll reformat YOUR harddrive, beeeeeach! *Grabs calculator and starts throwing Math equations at 50*

50: No! Me no like Math; It took me so long to count my money last time and me was so proud of countin' it, that I used it as me name. 50 whole cents, playa.

Me: Hahahaha...You no like Math?! Be prepared to be MATHED! *Throws Algebra equations* Take that! Want some Pythagorean Theorem? STILL not satisfied! *Throws Pythagorean Theorem, 50 is clearly fatigued*

50: Nooooo...anything but...Pyth...Pyth...ag...ahh, too much. *Falls over*

*The narrator stands there for a long time just watching 50 Cent lie there. At one point the narrator possibly blinked and a couple times shuffled her feet...some say she even ate a goldfish cracker. No one knows because 5 minutes later....*

50: *Jumps up* You been punk'd, sucka!

Me: Oh no! Anything but a cheesy MTV reality series hosted by Ashton Kutcher!

Ashton: *Pops in out of nowhere* Yup! You been punk'd! *Waits for me to laugh*

Me: Oh my. This...this is sad. Very sad. I thought MTV had more brains than to think of just THAT. Just go, hurry up too, I'm embarassed enough for the both of us. *Rolls eyes as everyone disappears* Sigh, I'm so lonely.

*Stewie from Family Guy appears*

Stewie: Lonely, eh?

Me: Go away, Stewart. I'm supposed to be the only evil one in this story.

Stewie: Clearly, you're not. You think MTV isn't evil?! For cripes sake, do you REALLY believe that Britney Spears isn't a Christina Aguilera monster/robot like that time in South Park?!

Me: Umm...no?

Stewie: *Rolls eyes* It's on. I'll show you...

The End.
Really.
Nah, I'm just kidding.
It will be continued.
Next time I have insomnia.
So go! Hurry up!
I can still see your back...