View Full Version : Excerpt from WIP, "Phillip and the Diary of Dreams"

January 5th, 2020, 11:42 PM
I waded deeper into the store. Toward the center, I found a staircase leading to a loft where there were several bookcases, and I could hear the rain thrumming hard on the rooftop.

I meandered through the aisles until a very thick, very old looking tome caught my eye. It was entitled, A Diary of Dreams. I eased it out of the shelf, expecting it to be a lot heavier than it was. Even now, I don’t know what compelled me to choose that particular book. I suppose it could be chalked up to mere voyeurism; the idea of reading a diary; or perhaps some kind of destiny—I don’t really know, but I nestled into a comfortable, mahogany leather sofa and began to read.

Initially, the book both drew and confused me. At first glance, it seemed like an autobiographical dream diary, but there were portions that were arranged like a dictionary of dreams and dream symbols, themselves. Still other pages were covered with sketches and drawings of fantastic scenes in nature, strange creatures, and various faces. Between the soft glow of the reading lamp, the sound of rain, and the rhythm of the text, my eyelids grew heavy and closed…

Abruptly, the rain was louder, the air cooler, and I found myself outside. Around me was a sea of umbrellas of all colors; people walking to and from a nearby train station. Before I could register much more than that, I felt a hand on either side of my face, and I was suddenly being kissed; on the lips! Passionately! I opened my eyes, and a girl about my age, wearing a red wool jacket with a matching beret was biting her scarlet lower lip and smiling, her pearl-black eyes searching into mine, the rain collecting like fine silver on her dark lashes and pale skin. She hurried to board a waiting commuter train, darting through as the doors closed. As it pulled out of the station, I could see her face pressed against the window, trying to keep me in sight. And then she was gone.

I awoke, still straddling worlds. I shouted in my head, “Who…”
A faint reply came, “Wendy! Find me!” her voice fading.
Wendy! I smiled to myself. It was crazy, but the dream had felt so real—maybe even more real than this… this waking reality!

Lizzie Brookes
April 20th, 2020, 01:40 PM
I like this extract. The random and unexpected kiss makes it seem like finding the book in the bookshop was a dream the main protagonist had. The descriptive words are great as well like the rain thrumming, and the book being described as thick and old looking - simple yet effective.

April 20th, 2020, 07:30 PM
Thank you. It's crazy, but although I am the writer/author, this is one of my favorites. I love my characters, the surrealism, the romance... I'm glad you liked the excerpt!

April 22nd, 2020, 11:23 AM
Beautiful writing; I felt fully immersed in this surrealistic world. While I don't understand what's happening, I'd like to read on and find out. Or just read on to stay immersed.

April 22nd, 2020, 01:04 PM
Ahhh! That's typical Wendy, smooching with strangers ... then watching their faces as she leaves them forever. She gets her kicks that way. Good scene, though.

April 22nd, 2020, 03:29 PM
Actually, Wendy inhabits this otherworld because her physical body is in a place and state she'd rather not be.