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View Full Version : Seeking Betas for Pinocchio (incomplete novel)



seigfried007
September 1st, 2019, 02:11 PM
TITLE: Pinocchio
GENRE: Psychological Horror
WORD COUNT: 122K and counting
BLURB: The life of a mild-mannered family man falls to pieces after he meets a mysterious entity in this disturbing retelling of the classic tale.
AUDIENCE DESCRIPTION: Adults only
EXPECTATIONS: While anything might help, I'm looking for big picture observations on pacing, plot, character development, continuity errors, etc. This story is incredibly complicated, and I'm trying to make it work on several levels, which means that I may goof up on something while trying to juggle all of it.
TIMESCALE: Take as long as you need
AVAILABLE FORMATS: Only in the Red Light Room. Ask PiP or rcallaci for access to the board, if you don't already have access because said board is not minor-friendly.
https://www.writingforums.com/threads/183647-Pinocchio-*Newly-revised-2019-horror-edition!*
OTHER INFORMATION:


This story is designed to work on any number of levels and in a number of genres, despite not necessarily being a crossover.

It's up to the reader to determine if the book is science-fiction, horror, erotic romance or something else. Even a surface-level reading should be disturbing, though I think it's more disturbing the deeper one reads. On the surface, the story is science-fiction and/or cosmic horror, both with strong erotic elements. A deeper reading may yield a story which is entirely literary/psychological and even set in the modern era. I've designed it for a lot of re-reading pleasure potential, and hopefully multiple read-throughs will yield greater insight and enjoyment.

It's up to the reader to determine how reliable the POV David Surrey is, how sane he is at any point, if anything that's going on around him is really happening--and what might actually be happening, if he's lying or mistaken.

This story contains a great deal of adult and explicit content, including: sex (M/M, M/F and multiple partners), child abuse, harsh language, rape, body horror. Fundamentally, this story is about mental illness, parenthood, the cyclical nature of abuse, and the wide-ranging aftereffects of child abuse (especially that of childhood sexual trauma).

This story is not finished, but I am working on it and usually add one chapter a day in the thread. Chapters are usually around a thousand words, so they're pretty quick reads and provide lots of good stopping points. It should be nearing its end... but I thought it would be over several thousand words ago, so I'm probably wrong. There are a couple more arcs I still need to write, and knowing these characters, they're going to stretch their literary lifespans out.

Trollheart
September 1st, 2019, 03:54 PM
Oh yeah! Count me in! Might take a little while, but I'd view this more as almost a request from me than a response to you. Can I? Huh? Huh?

seigfried007
September 1st, 2019, 04:23 PM
Oh yeah! Count me in! Might take a little while, but I'd view this more as almost a request from me than a response to you. Can I? Huh? Huh?

Whatever floats your boat ;)

Trollheart
September 1st, 2019, 05:25 PM
Thanks. I think I have to be authorised to gain access to the RLR though, don't I? I'm over eighteen, I assure you. A good three decades and more...

seigfried007
September 1st, 2019, 06:22 PM
Thanks. I think I have to be authorised to gain access to the RLR though, don't I? I'm over eighteen, I assure you. A good three decades and more...

Yup. Just ask PiP or racallaci for permission onto the RLR board. They're quick about answering PMs, and the board's always happy for more action.

Aquilo
September 1st, 2019, 08:20 PM
Thanks. I think I have to be authorised to gain access to the RLR though, don't I? I'm over eighteen, I assure you. A good three decades and more...

Be good to see you in there with us, TH. :)

Trollheart
September 1st, 2019, 09:23 PM
Be good to see you in there with us, TH. :)
Oh, crumbs! Me ma will be watching me in there now! I'll have to be on my best behaviour! :lol:

PiP
September 1st, 2019, 09:29 PM
Do you have access, TH?

Trollheart
September 1st, 2019, 10:07 PM
I don't at the moment. Could you sort that for me please? Would be most appreciated.
Thanks.
TH

PiP
September 1st, 2019, 10:37 PM
Done

Aquilo
September 1st, 2019, 10:38 PM
Oh, crumbs! Me ma will be watching me in there now! I'll have to be on my best behaviour! :lol:

I'll say the same I say to any of my lads -- no sex until you're dead! To which the smartass one says... "Necrophilia? You sure you want to promote that one, mom?"

Bloody kids....

:)

seigfried007
September 6th, 2019, 06:34 AM
For the curious, the current count of chapters which contain sex of some sort is 39/95. Book is standing currently at 116K.

I'm not kidding when I say this book is chock full of adult content. My count will be different from the counts of others. Said scenes are not equally explicit nor are all consensual (among other things, the story's about child abuse, after all). There's a lot of variety; I don't write the same sort of thing twice because there's no point in bloating a book or boring myself. All scenes are needed for the plot, too, because otherwise I don't write them. If it happened off-screen, I didn't count it. If it's implied, I didn't count it (As much as possible, I try to use implication--particularly with scenes of child abuse). There is a lot of sexual content that is not reflected in that count.

Scenes range in size from an itty bitty paragraph during a whole chapter to two-chapter spreads, if I recall correctly. There's at least one that's over 2K, but the vast majority are much, much smaller (in the 'handful of paragraphs' ballpark). Some were so small and had so little detail that I didn't count them.

(After a look back, all of the longer 2K-ish ones are threesomes. Depending on how one defines a sex scene, there are only 2-4 such 2K-ish scenes.)

EmmaSohan
September 7th, 2019, 09:51 PM
I want to read your book. I am willing to be a beta, but you say it's not finished, and I think you have chosen a difficult task that will take a lot of work. So I am not sure if you really mean beta. I am happy to look at it and make comments, you know I want to support what you are doing.

seigfried007
September 8th, 2019, 07:56 AM
I want to read your book. I am willing to be a beta, but you say it's not finished, and I think you have chosen a difficult task that will take a lot of work. So I am not sure if you really mean beta. I am happy to look at it and make comments, you know I want to support what you are doing.

I'm going after the kinds of feedback betas give--big picture stuff. Work's pretty clear of nits and such, but I'll take any feedback I can get. I feel bad about it not being finished and am certainly working to remedy that. :D

Because it's been written in three big spurts over ten years, there's bound to be some changes in style (though these have hopefully been minimized through a lot of editing and story issues).

It cheers me to no end that you support the project at all--even a little, Emma

Theglasshouse
September 9th, 2019, 09:21 PM
I am waiting until they grant me permission by one of the admins to the red room so that I can read more chapters. I pmed one of them today, and I expect them to give me access to the red room since I am old enough to read what is in that forum section. But when that happens I don't know if it will be tomorrow that I get the permission. I will have to wait though until I get a response in the inbox. Then if all is solved I will read 2 more chapters as I promised since I want to give some feedback because of all the help I've received. That and because I genuinely like the story even though its not my favorite genre.

PiP
September 9th, 2019, 11:41 PM
PM sent :)

seigfried007
September 16th, 2019, 08:03 AM
Current number of chapters containing on-screen sex vs total number of chapters: 40/100
Novel's at 122+K and counting.

Not sure how many more scenes like that are going to be in the book, but as I only know a few more that will have to be included, the ratio should continue to fall as the story progresses.

(I mention this count not as advertising but as a warning to potential readers. I hate the idea that someone's going to pick this thing up expecting maybe one or two scenes like that and being unpleasantly flabbergasted. Most of said scenes are short and sparse on details.)