View Full Version : Beta readers for THE FALLEN (new adult novel)

July 29th, 2019, 12:41 PM
I am looking for anyone who wants to give an honest critique. I would be happy to do a swap or partial swap as well! Thanks so much!

TITLE The Fallen

GENRE new adult fiction, possibly YA but might be a bit too graphic


AUDIENCE DESCRIPTION Young adult, 18+ who aren't afraid of more intense scenes
EXPECTATIONS I'd love any type of feedback, from grammar to plot and continuity

TIMESCALE Anything really, preferably no more than 4 months, but I'll gladly take what I get

AVAILABLE FORMATS PDF, Google Drive, word doc, whatever is best

OTHER INFORMATION Some graphic, violent scenes, swearing, nothing too over the top but wouldn't recommend for people who find a few cuss words inappropriate


Jake Anderson thought he had everything.

He was captain and starting quarterback of the varsity football team; he was going to get a full ride athletic scholarship to the college of his dreams. He had the perfect, popular, beautiful girlfriend. A family who supported him, a dad who pushed him to be better, a mom who told him he was great and a little sister who kept him grounded.

Jake had his entire life before him, a planned, perfect life.

Until the girl. And the murder.

Annie Darling knows she has nothing. Knows she is nothing. No family, no future, only a past that she keeps trying to keep in the past. Memories she doesn’t want had been safely tucked away, but now, after the boy, after the accident, they are blurring the lines of what is real and what is not.

Jake is barely surviving. His family is gone, his future is gone, and it doesn’t look like his girlfriend is going to stick around much longer.

The novel is told through the eyes of two teenagers as they struggle to repair their lives after an accident forces them together.

November 11th, 2019, 11:29 AM
Hello friend.

I'd like to help you but I can't take the whole novel.

Why don't we split it up a bit?
Send me either the first chapters or any excerpt, let's say 20k words?

The plot you presented doesn't intrigue much per se, perhaps your storytelling style is going to win our hearts!

Hit me with a PM!

R. A. Busby
January 12th, 2020, 02:11 AM
Hi! I can't commit to an entire novel, but I'd be happy to read any three average-sized chapters from a part in the novel you're struggling with. Here's what I'd need to know:

1. What kind of feedback do you need? Grammar/mechanics, plot holes, other issues?

2. What should I look for specifically?

January 16th, 2020, 10:14 PM
Hey Quiet.

I'd be happy to give this a read.

I can provide you with an overall feeling as a reader. Followed by a slighly more in depth with specific notes I make throughout (this may include a LBL of certain parts, or a generic "this section was missing something.")

Can probably get it done by the end of January.

PM me :)


Darren White
January 19th, 2020, 08:24 AM
If the OP doesn't reply within the next three days, I will close the thread. We will then assume it is not needed anymore, especially since the request was done over 6 months ago :)